Ex wants to take our doughter overseas

[cosonoi]

I recently got divorced after being married for over 6 years. I have a doughter from the marriage that lives with me 5 days a week.

I've been supporting the family and kept a steady job for the period of time that I was married. The ex was never able to keep a job for more then a week. When we got divorced she applied for Child Support even though I'm with the child 5 days a week and she still doesn't have a job. Not only that but she applied for unemployment. We have joint custody.

A few days ago she told that she is taking the child overseas for 2 months. She did not ask me what my opinion is, or if I am agreeing to that. When I told her that I don't agree she said that the tickets have already been purchased.

The reason I don't want to let her take the child is because she is a very iresponsable person, I do not fell that she will be taking care of the child.

I really want my child to have a mother that loves her and cares about her well being. But is seems that my ex doesn't care too much about that.

My questions is:

Can she take our doughter overseas without my agreement? Is there anything I can do to stop her from doing that?

Thank you!

[nosonew]

I think you can file a restraining order against her from removing the child from your state without your permission.  Im sure others will give you more info.  You likely should talk to an attorney Monday, and get the paperwork filed since you apparently don't have this written in your current court order.  The fact that she already bought the tickets isn't your problem.  I say tough, she can take an adult friend with her, and who knows if she would ever bring your daughter back?

[StPaulieGirl]

There is info here about that.  File an emergency restraining order, and if the child has a passport, have it revoked or seized.  You can do a search here for more info.

Is the mother a flight risk?  Meaning, does she have family overseas who will support her financially, so she doesn't have to return?

[Kitty C.]

I agree with SPG.  If the child doesn't have a passport, BOTH parents' signatures must be on the application in order for it to be approved, a federal law that went into effect not too many years ago.  Without both signatures, it WILL be denied.  If the mother has family overseas, you can COUNT on her being a flight risk.  For someone who has no money and no job, going overseas for 2 months looks HIGHLY suspicious.  Get on the passport and also file an RO against the 'trip'.  So what if the tickets have been bought already??  Too bad, so sad!

[MixedBag]

I have family in Germany and that doesn't make me an automatic flight risk if I want to take my son overseas to meet them and get to know my family's history.

I have friends in England that I would like to take my son to visit, but that doesn't make me a flight risk.

Is the BM a flight risk?  Then I agree.

Does BM want to go to a "third world country" or a western country?

Does the order ALLOW her two months over the summer?  That struck me as odd -- most parents don't get that much time.

Also, forgot where I read it but I think both parents now have to be present when obtaining a passport -- which is a step up from agreeing or signing the form.

I know some parents here have had real reason to be concerned (like Kent).  But let's help this person think it through.

[Kitty C.]

Two months is more common than you think, MB.  DS was going ALL summer to his dad's, ever since he was 8 or 9, about 7 years ago.  But if BOTH parents must be 'present' in order to get a child's passport, that's a VERY good thing!

I may have been a little harsh in my response, but I think I was going on the assumption that the ex's only intention is separating the child from their father.  Without knowing more to it, there's really no way to consider either way.

[mango]

She would need a passport and to obtain a passport she would need both parents signatures. If you believe she has forged it you can ask to get on the Passport alert program and they will notify you of past and present passport applications of your child(ren). Request to be added to "Children's Passport Issuance Alert Program."

Fax to: 202-736-9133.

Your name, childs name, your relationship. childs birthdate, SS number of child, hospital location of birth, copy of birth certificate if you have one.

[rainbow1]

How did she get a passport for the child without your signature? She needs your signature if you have joint custody! You need to get an emergency hearing in front of a judge! Check with your local office that issues passports. You are legally entitled to a copy of the application for a passport. If she forged your signature she could end up in jail. Have an attorney immediately send her a certified letter refusing her permission to take the child out of the country. If she did forge your signature or obtained the passport by supplying false info you might be able to get primary placement designated to you, possibly sole custody depending on the judge. Record all phone calls between you and her. Keep all written correspondance!