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Advice on preventing false accusations?

Started by Alliz, Apr 29, 2004, 10:14:36 AM

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Long story short, my husband had a 3 month relationship with a woman that produced a child.  The woman has repeatedly taken him to court plying false accusations on him about abuse in order to keep him away from the child.  The woman is a retard because my husband has never sought custody or visitation.  He does pay CS through the government.  
I have to mention, his relationship with her was 16 years ago, we've been together for 10 years and we have children. We just found out last week that she's been taking him to court for years (we didn't know about them because he was never served - they didn't have his address) But last week they found him and he was served with a restraining order for abuse on this woman.   None the less, with the "poor woman" routine, the judge ordered a restraining order.

My husband has seen this woman once in 15 years, and it was in a court room last week.  Years ago when she knew where he was, she would call the police with false accusations resulting in arrests.  My fear naturally, is that she will do the same now that she knows where he is and is armed with a restraining order.  

Does anyone have any advice on tips for him to protect himself?  The only thing I can think of is for him to make a log/record of where he is and when.  He works a ton, goes to college, and whatever time is left, he is with myself and our kids (he even goes foodshopping, dr's visits, laundry mat with us).  His time is very much accounted for.  A drive to this womans town is a 3 hour drive round trip.  Not impossible to do, but it's more challenging than a drive across town.  Do you think a personal log would work in court?

Incidentally the judge said last week that she thought the womans claim was "an abuse of the system that was not ment to be used because you find someone unpleasant".  So I don't think she bought this womans story.  Still, the restraining order was implemented.  Any advice on the best, credible ways my husband can make himself accounted for to protect himself would be greatly appreciated.  I can't help but believe that just in time for restraining order renewal time, that she'll be calling the police.  


Definatly start keeping a log of whereabouts. Try to keep someone with your DH at ALL times.


Suggestions When Falsely Accused

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations


Does your husband now have a criminal record from this?

I posted in here my story. I was wrongly accused of child abuse by a convicted criminal that has been convicted 7 times for crimes like assault and dealing drugs and driving while intoxicated... Yet, he was able to brain wash my wife's child in to telling a social worker we were abusing her.

Fortunately, I was able to avoid a criminal record or jail time because I have worked with children through the YMCA and had many references that I have never harmed a child. I also had a really good lawyer that protected me.

My wife gave up her child after 11 years of us both raising the kid. We moved across country and didn't leave an address... I was living in fear for 8 months that this situation you tell us of would happen to me- that some one would accuse me of something and I would actually get in trouble for it- and we lived with in 12 miles of the kid and her dad so it would be easy for them to concoct an other accusation- My wife and I survived 3 accusations.

I wish I could offer you more help. This is not fair at all. I hope you do a lot of reading and get ready for war because if your husband is accused now, he will be in deep trouble if they say he broke a restraining order.

good luck with your situation and thanks for sharing with us.


I'm trying to prepare myself for when she calls the police to claim he broke the restraining order.  This was typical of her 15 years ago.
I know she's calling the cops at some point in order to substantiate the fact he's dangerous, therefore in need of restraining orders.

Back then, He was never convicted of anything because after the judge told him "if you break this order one more time, your going to jail", my husband moved 3,000 miles away.  After the move, the police wouldn't arrest him, not believing he could have been harrassing her. (Shouldn't she have been charged at that point for LYING!?!)

He can't move 3,000 miles away again.  I just hope that the authorities cannot see why a man would leave his 1 & 5 year old as well as his wife to go harrass a woman he had a 3 month affair with 16 years ago.  I know there is his other child, but he's never gone for visitation or custody.  I hope they find it strange he'd go stalk her to "see the child" when he could easily file for visitation through the court.  I also hope they see it strange he would be abusive to that woman and her child, yet not to myself and our kids.  Aren't abusers pattern people?

So far, I've been logging where he is and when.  I have him keep receipts for places he's been (they show date and times).  I log who has  seen him at certain times, such as neighbors etc, and who he is with at a given time.  One thing I know of, is that this womans documentation stinks, as in, she does not document.  Her lies are just straight from her mouth.  

I have considered that all my intense documentation on my husband may make him look bad (as in, why would I do it?)  Goodness, I just hope not.  


Forgive me but this ##&*** **** makes me furious! I'm so sick of these women making false abuse allegations I'm about to explode!!! Because of our biotroll we are moving 1,000 miles away, leaving DH's family a job & house that we love!
Anyhow, if you have a convenience store nearby, receipts are a good thing even if it's for a pack of gum. Filing false reports is a criminal act and she can be charged... he can take her to civil court as well (start researching the how-to's because if she files again you'll want to be prepared to slap her down immediately!!!! I have mine ready!!!)
If you can move, of course do so. Even if it's not this very moment.
Life shouldn't be like this....


Hey KAT,, dont hold back hun,, tell us how you really feel. All these repressed emotions are bad for ya ;)

btw,, could you please post your own how to on slappin her candy-ass down?


My wife and I were accused of child abuse 3 times by the biological father of my wife's daughter. The daughter went along with it. She was criticizing us to her dad and he took it and ran with it... Then an anonymous complaint that my wife sexually assaulted her 12 year old daughter was made.

We felt like we were targets and that it was only a matter of time before they filed an other complaint that got me thrown in jail or my wife.

So we moved 3000 miles away and left our house that we loved.. but that house meant very little to me when you feel like at any given moment the police will show up and throw you in jail for a false accusation and hearsay. The house was bought by me to be lived in by a normal family not a spoiled child that didnt' care about it.

The "man" that was making accusations about me is a 7 time arrested criminal that has strangled my wife and beat her when she was 19 months pregnant.  The courts cared little about me not having a criminal record... but in the long run, I still don't have one and the accusations of abuse were all labeled "unfounded"

We live 3000 miles away and the child is not welcome to visit because of the damage she has caused. I don't ever want to go near her again.