The Kids win!

[prince13]

Today was an excellent day for my DH and his children. He and the ex met with the therapist to work out a visitation schedule, among other things, for the balance of the school year. EX didn't like what the therapist had to say, but we sure did! A little background...3 kids 13,11,7 and we are 4 hours driving distance away one way. DH has always driven back for his weekends. Well now, EX has to drive 1/2 one weekend per month so they can be at our home. EX balked for 2 reasons  1) children's acitivities that they would miss and 2) dh's cs was lowered due his transportation costs ....

Therapist said parenting time ALWAYS precedes any actitives and it is only fair that she drive this 1/2 too since DH does it during the summer for her weekends. Secondly, DH says to her it is only $20 that I am compensated for transportation so if it is that big of deal then I will pay you the $20 on those weekends you have to drive.  The therapist said, ok, fair. She still didn't like it. Ex also mentioned she now wanted to use said therpist to resolve their differences and DH is open to this, too, but mentioned he wanted to go to court to get it all in writing. She didn't like that, and the therapist told her, "you need to understand he has to protect himself" give the previous problems! He didn't see the kids all last Fall due to her visitiaton denial.

She also brought up that DH wrestles with the kids and he shouldn't do that as it encourages them to be bullies. The kids like to wrestle with their Dad and like the kisses monster, duh? Ex has a "no touch" policy at her house and thinks we should have same. Whatever! Well apparently DH's middle boy is having difficulty with violence (news to us and no problems in school) at ex's home regarding his relationship with his step-brother who is a year younger. So, once again, because she has issues in her own home that she is unable to be responsible for she has to blame it on DH wrestling with the kids. DH told the therapist he wasn't going to stop this, but would temporarily halt it until they can figure out what is going on with the boy and step brother. Hmmm... Child will be meeting with the therapist by himself to see what we can determine. This just brings to light that there are issues at her home, as we never have problems with the kids like this when they are with us. And if there was truly an OVERALL problem don't you think it would show up in school? He excels academically and there are no disipline events at school, nor any problems on the sports teams he plays on. Hmmmm....

So, today was a good day for the children!

[MixedBag]

"Therapist said parenting time ALWAYS precedes any actitives"

I sure wish two of our EXs understood this.....we each have one that wants to put "extra curricular activities (baseball and BMX and Scouts) before time with us and then their come back is "But S will miss out and enjoys these activities -- put the child first!"

Yep, I'm putting the child first because the relationship or time that the child has with the NCP comes first before everything.  So glad to read that a therapist thinks the same way.  Wish there was more of them out there!
 

[prince13]

We are lucky to have this therapist. He has been awesome and I credit him for making all the difference in the world for our sitaution. Since he has been in the picture BM has behaving as much as she is capable of doing.

We made sure that when the therapist was court ordered we found someone who was familiar with PAS, and contentious family relationships along with custody disputes. As it turns out this guy is pretty well known in their local community for helping decide custody cases and doing home studies etc. We have been so fortunate to have him.

I understand your frustration with that statement from the ex's. It is exactly as ours thinks, too. I hope that you can get there with yours someday too. This has take about 5 years to get to this point, and multiple appearances in court.  

Hang in there.

[kitten]

Yeah!  :)

[MYSONSDAD]

CONGRATS! Good step in the right direction...