scared to be scammed by my ex, what can I do?

[spinner]

ok so got a passport for my kid

going to europe meet his family over Xmas
his mom signed me a letter that she is ok for us to go there

HOWEVER I SMELL SOMETHING FISHY
I have had many problems with my ex and that doesn't look like her to be "good" to my european family.

Our divorce state that we can go as long as she agrees but I am scared she will call the police on me.

Which I have the letter signed as a proof but they only look at it after procecuting you, ....

Anyway, what can I do to protect myself ?
Go talk to the police prior to the trip?
contact my attorney to give him the papers?

I just don't trust her, she is all about creating trouble

[Peanutsdad]

Get a notorized letter just to cover yourself

[spinner]

well that's what I have from her however I think she plan on calling the police anyway and say she never did that letter.

Eventualy they will figure she is a fraud but not after making my life really hard

[Kitty C.]

Let her!  Once you show them the notarized letter, they will not only realize that she's lying thru her teeth, but it's a CIVIL matter and they will go back to her and tell her to take it up with the court........which by then you and your child will have already taken your trip.

Question, tho.  Did she sign the passport app.?  I was of the impression that BOTH parents have to sign..............or did they allow the notarized letter as her permission?  If they did, you're TOTALLY in the clear.

Go and have a WONDERFUL holiday with your child, spinner!

[spinner]

I don't have a US passport, I have a european passport which doesn't require her signature (my kid has dual citizenship)

so you think that if she calls on me then I just shot the letter and they will be fine? I just want to avoid any issues, you know how that works: innocent untill proven guilty yet you go to jail and we check latter and says sorry for the mistake, ....

[Kitty C.]

This is the way I see it:  She's already given you the notarized letter, so if she tries anything, she will probably say it is/was kidnapping.  If this hits before you go, then all you have to show is the letter and the cops will see that it is a 'civil' matter and not a criminal one.

The thing is, she really can't do a damn thing until you LEAVE.  The cops won't even listen if she tells them she 'thinks' you will be taking off without permission.

Thank God for the dual citizenship!  I never thought of that, but that's a definite plus for you.  The only other suggestion I could make is that you give her a notarized letter stating when you plan to return, barring any unforeseen problems, like weather delays.  Call her while your gone, if possible.  And if there are delays, inform her immediately, giving her info (airline phone number and flight numbers she can call to verify if need be).  Keeping her abreast of things will make her feel 'in the loop' and maybe more open to other trips or events in the future.

And make sure you document EVERYTHING about the trip, especially calls to her and from her.  Back it all up with proof if possible.  That way if she still tries to be pissy about it, you can prove that you went WAY above and beyond to accomodate her and be held accountable yourself.  I know that you must feel like you have to look behind your back, but as long as you have yourself covered, there's not much more you can do.  But like I said, she really can't do anything until AFTER you leave.  Just make sure you have all the necessary documentation on you at ALL times.

DS's dad was born in Canada, making DS a Canadian citizen as well.  We're in the process of making it official, but his dad died 2 years ago, so I have more paperwork that has to be filled out and documents that they need.  But if it will make it easier if DS wants to go to school or live up there, then we'll get it done.  I see his dual citizenship as nothing but a plus for him!

[janM]

Hmmm...I was forgetting that my son's boy has dual citizenship as well, because my kids and I were born in Canada (hubby still is British subject, never became Canadian citizen). Same applies to my daughter's kids.

I should find out what is involved in getting that documented.

[purrrfectgirl]

Another thing I might recommend is to file something with the courts.  Not nessecarily a motion to go, but a "notice of international parenting time" or something like that.  Effectively telling the courts and ex that you're going to do this.  If there is some time before you actually leave give her time (say 14 days) to respond to the notice if there is a problem.  Make sure you put in her notarized permission letter.  This will make her look silly in the courts if she tries to pull something after you've left.  Ask the clerk of courts where you file the paper to have it serviced via USPS with return receipt request (or you can do it and provide the return receipt as proof that she got the paperwork).  Then she knew your plans, include departure and return dates and approximate times as well as the general part or the world where you can be located if not a specific location (like an address).  Then she can't claim parental kidnapping because you provided advance notice and you told her where you would be.  Plus, then is she refuses and files a motion to prevent your departure, her own letter is there.  She'd look pretty silly.  That's my advice!