Help us please.................

[OregonStepMom]

force visitation or not?"


           My ex-wife has primary custody of our two minor boys. She has done everything possible to keep them from on my visitation days. Hence, I have not seen them in more then 8 weeks. I have talked with my new wife, and we are thinking about going to my ex's house on the next scheduled visitation day with a video camera and trying to force her to let me see my children. Is this a good or bad idea??? with an upcoming court hearing where she claims my new wife is a "pill popping booze hound" and we are taking the position that we are trying our best not to inflict more emotional damage on the children......I am torn, Please help!

 
 

[spinner]

personaly I would go and push it however don't let your ex think she is on a movie.
"Ex-Wife gone wild" is a killer in court.
I got my ex on tape a day with a couple F U in front of our kid and as hole and other pretty words, ...

Anyway, this definetely helped, everytime she pull something, I bring back the tape out, ...

Personaly I would play dirty. Make her go wild on tape.

I also think that the "we are the better parents and not want to give kids more trauma" isn't gona do anything in court. It's good for them but the court won't give a S...`

[gipsy]

I had to do exactly that , The video camera is , In my opinion a very good idea , That way she can't make up a story about what happened . And I will garuntee the end result will only be worse if you let her do this , This not giving visits is bad for the kids , And It teaches her that she can , Here's the other side of the coin , She will turn this around and say you quit showing up , I used the video camera , And she tried to have her atty write letters saying that There WILL BE LEGAL ACTION !! iF THIS INVASION OF PRIVACY DOES NOT STOP   , My atty's return letter was , This . ( wash state )    
 DEAR DIPSHITS . : My client fully intends to excorcise his rights to visit His son , And This video taping is for the purpose of makeing sure there are no further innapropriate claims coming from your client about the transfers of the child , My client fully intends to continue video tapinG
     Now here's what the video taping does , It makes every one behave and really it is a safety net for all of you , But I warn You Keep your mouth shut , You are there to pick up and that is all you have to say period ! then shut up , This is emotional and even while my wife was taping I got pissed and said a few things myself , But heres the real deal about video taping , My atty said it will never make it into the court , But they will write some stupid letters about it ,or say something about it . And My atty said , We will just say at court , If she doesn't want the taping what is she hiding,  And that was about the result at trial , When I was testifying , I said she lies about things that go on , And of course her atty said
  Like prove what she is lying about " I said well why did she not want the Video taping then , And you wrote me letters saying you don;t want it .
 Her atty said " Well whats video taping going to prove if we show it " I said" Mom Lies about these  things she say's I do at the transfer "
    So He asked Like " How would we know that " I said "Well Like I want the video taping She Is against it . I want to show the truth , So her atty said , What would the tapes show , I said " They will show Me going up and getting My son and getting in the car and leaving ' The tape will not show Any of the things that she say's happens " And that she is Lying to cause trouble "
    The conclusion was . The way the judge looked at Me And gave me an undoubtable look of approval , And the judge was watching Mom Fidget , My atty said that The was certain that the judge got an understanding Of what was really going on ,  But I say again that the tapes were never shown at trial . But I thought that it played out well in My favor , So I am telling you the way these freaks work  is to Separate you from your child , Then tell the child a bunch of crap , It does absolutely no good to go along with this , I drug My son away kicking and screaming , And I would have done it again, and I urge you to do the same , Because the mom is Poisening There mind , And what I believe happened with My actual expirience is , My son now see's that Things are good with dad , And he doesn't like her talking bad about me , And I have proved to her that visits will occur , And she has given up for the most part , This will get better when she learns that you will be there for the visits . If you let her do it , You teach her that she can win By using sick behavior , I urge you to show up with the camera , And stand there outside with it , And say are the kids ready to go , If they cry You have to take them any way  , She is doing this < And My psycho use to tell My son that I did not love Him and I was going to hurt Him , And he would be terrorised ,  And I grabbed Him ANd Pulled His screaming kicking little feet and hands gently away from Mom and Immediatlly took him screaming to the car and Gave Him a lolipop , And he Quickly adjusted , And we drove away , She tried this stunt another time and called the GUardian ad Litem , And the guardian ad Litem said Come to her  office , So I quick got Him a candy and came to the office , With a happy child , I could only have done this , Because I knew when I drag him away , And he gets five minutes down the road with Me he is all good
  If I could scream this at you through the computer Hear it , DON'T LET HER DO THIS !!!! Show up and add it to the next appearance if she denies the visit , Be civil , She can't be in contempt of a court order if you don't show up '   , And Yes I debated the damage to My son and almost walked away , But I did not , And this will pass when she learns that you are serious , I think we all go through the debate of walking away , You need to win for your kids , And I have won for My son , And the tables are turning because , I started to make My visits good , and don't say bad things about mom . The tables have changed and he openly states That he doesn't like His mom talking bad about me , And  I encouraged Him to tell her that , And he has , He told me he told her to shut up , and that it hurts his feelings , And 'He said' that 'she said 'she would quit doing it' , And he seems to be very happy now , Don't let this get you down , I had to force my self to have good visits when all this is going on , Its not that hard to push them on the swing , and go get toys games and hobbies to play with them with , JUST DO IT , And your children will love you and the mother can't stop that , I could go on and on , But the real deal is love you kids and make the vists good , play games read books, And watch cartoons with them

[spinner]

I agree, same thoughts here, don't let her get away with it.
Personaly I don't show the camera.

I have a tape recorder in my pocket and we are a 1 party state so I can record myself (and who ever talks around me)

Then even though you never play it in court you can transcript it and add it to an affidavit.
Believe me, bring the tape in court, you'll never play it but try. She will never interfeer again !