false allegations

[krysnsho]

Ok, I am desperate to find help for my sister.  She just finished a nasty, drawn out divorce, where at the end her ex decided to just settle.  Mind you, Two and a half years into it.  Now he did not return the child, (4yrs old) after this weekend's visitation.  At the time she was waiting for the baby, a detective with the child advocacy board called her and informed her that the father had taken the baby to the hospitol on saturday eve. and alledged that my sisters 15 year old son had "penetrated him".  My sister, being a victim of sexual abuse, as a child took this serious and went and spoke with all of the hospital staff, the detective and the dept of human resources.  there is no evidence that it is true.  She obtained a court order and just yesterday got the 4 yr old back home.  But the investigation still has to run it's course.  Last night the 4 year old told her that he did not want to stay at his fathers anymore.  She kept asking why and he said "Cause my daddy stuck his finger in my butt and told me that *** did it. " ( *the brother).  Now here is the fathers background.  At the begining of the divorce, he made false allegations to the dept of human resources and wrote them a letter stating that he was sorry, he had lied.  He is a poroll officer in the city where they live.  He has been married 4 times, and has been arrested for domestic violence against all of his wives.  He has been arrested 4 times on DUI charges, one of which his 11 year old daughter was in the car with him and he faught the officers.  He has beated all of these charges and the state still employs him.  My sister during the marriage, and later has begged for help from his superiors, he is also in the military.  She needs help on so many levels, its hard to find what should be addressed first.  

[MYSONSDAD]

http://www.abuse-excuse.com/

Hope you are documenting what is taking place. I would also get the child into therapy.

"Children learn what they live"

[gipsy]

I went through this on the other end , I am a MAN , But here is what happened ,There was a Guardian Ad Litem on board  , That is standard procedure here in Wash state , She told the GAL similar accusations ,  We went to poly graph testing , She failed. I passed , So then all this became a big mistake and The allegations weren't really made . SOOO without much  depth  In my situation , Let me explain what I have seen and heard , At court I saw these allegations made By another litigant , And the commissioner said , Let me see the proof , So the Woman making the allegations said , "I have a report from child protective services ", So the commissioner wanted it , He read it and said" this does not substantiate the allegations " And basically sent the two on there way , So This is something the court see's all the time , and the judge, Or commissioner has to make a call on the issue "  It doesn't seem to fly unless there is evidence . And  If I comprehend your post no  legal entity believed it " So It Is My opinion from what Happened to me ,nothing will really happen < But If the issue of the Dad putting the finger up the butt is proved or believed , there could be reall problems for the Dad , The generaL PROCEDURE , iN WASH STATE  is to have a Guardian ad Litem appointed , This person investigates  the info and reports to the judge , The Judge doesn't investigate , Because their job is to be the judge , And they are not likely to do much untill the judge see'sproof , DO NOT Use My post except for the purpose of provoking thought , You should interview Many atty's and get one that Talks like normal and explains what the process is , As in ,Like appoint a GAL , Ask all the atty's about this , Alway's remmember , all the legal entities have heard all this crap many times < You sister or the ex have not invented this and sometimes it is true , the court has to go through there legal process with this kind of crap .  My only real advice is to talk to many atty's and don't hire any one that talks a big story , Hire the one that is calm and talks about the legal issues and the process , this is a tough situation , and with out the guideance of a good atty , Your sister could have some trouble , I think the finger up the butt thing is something that will lose The perpetrater contact with the child , I suggest you try to get your hands on the domestic violence reports , and the DuI report , and have it all ready for an atty to look at , This is only what I think from having been through the system on many allegations . And one similar to the sexuall allegations , if  Your sister goes to the court with this and the court believes it , the Dad will have to go through the whole process , If it were Me I would talk to many atty's about this issue , there are a lot of good atty's ,  You just DO NOT WANT A BAD ONE !!! or one that will just eat up your cash $ . And finally It is my understanding that if you believe the child is going to be in danger , You don't have to give the child to the other parent , However , He could take her to the court and She will have to have her ducks in a row to answere , I personally would have my ducks in a row ! And not give the child to some one that stuck there finger up His butt !!And for the sake of this child ,  When you interview atty's ask questions about there approach , And try not to get an atty with a reactive  And aggressive  approach , You want to talk about legal issues , And its not About aggression , the atty's see this pandamonium constantly , And there should not be some big reaction , i say this because . Atty's have been  lied to , After being through this process and being affiliated with a Mens group I have seen where the side that is making the allegations turned out to be the one doing it , Thats why I say the attorney should have a very factual and legal approach , And serious buiseness attitude ,

[CustodyIQ]

I agree with MySonsDad.  Dean Tong (at abuse-excuse.com) would be a good resource.  His book, Elusive Innocence, would be a very important one for your sister to have.

Further, this child should be meeting with a child psychologist ASAP.  Granted, you're providing third party testimony, but if it's true, a psychologist may in fact report against the father.

Sitting back won't help your sister, if what you've outlined about the father is true.

She needs a proactive strategy to not only counter what recently occurred but to get set up for future incidents.

In her scenario, she's not just dealing with a false accuser.  According to you, she's dealing with a father willing to abuse his child to create potential grounds for an accusation about someone else.

If that's the case, the father should be on supervised visitation only.

Again, if what you say is true, your sister should be striving to get such court orders ASAP.  An expert's testimony (e.g., a child psychologist) would help achieve that.