4 yr old daughter seeing her

[gccranford]

My wife left after income tax received in February. We had been living with my Mom for over 3 yrs. She also has two sons by a previous marriage. We still saw each other and she would spend the night over here up until a month and half ago.  I thought we were working things out. July 2nd we all went to family reunion with my family going back 3 generations.

 Then Her X husband came into picture after she called him.
Wife says she is filing in two months. She will not let me see my daughter.
She will not let My Mom see her either because I am here.

I work constantly but her Grandmother is here and I never abused wife or children.  I do drink beer on weekends sometimes but did that when we were married almost 6 years ago. I am able to take care of my daughter and love her more than life itself.

Wife is seeing her x husband again after he never paid child support (17 thousand dollars behind, ever saw boys; which one is a teenager now. He was on drugs and even abused her physically and caused younger son that is ten to be deaf in one ear.

What can I do?  I just want to see my daughter that is 4 and My Mom who is her only blood Grandmother and 63 is in tears. It has been a month and a half since I have seen her. She said Grandmother can't even see her until divorce is final because I am here. We do not have any legal paperwork presently filed.

Thanks for any help.
Greg

[snapplegirl69]

You have every right to see your daughter since there are no court orders stating you cannot.You should go to the court and file for temporary visitations if she wont let you near your daughter.

[gccranford]

Thank you, I sure hope it doesn't take to long thru the courts.
Also that it doesn't cost an arm and leg like gas prices are now.

Greg

[wendl]

File 1st and do it now.  Get all your ducks in a row. Court can take forever depending on how willing the parties are to cooperate.

Make every effort to see your child, call your child. you don't want her saying you abandoned (sp) your chlid.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[gccranford]

I didn't want the divorce. She does. She has moved her x husband in with her. I call and she won't answer, If she calls back she talks to my Mother only. Megan can be right there saying she wants to come over and my wife tells her no. Megan cries.  
Sad situation.  I just got off a year of chemo and just started working again so finances have been really horrible. The only car we had my wife took.
I drive my Mother's car to work now until I can save up enough to get one.
I also have to get my own place also.
This all came up one on top of the other. Wife says she is filing but it will be two months before she files and plans to tell courts I have no visitation.
My nerves are shot and being without money to get this taken care of to see my daughter hurts.  
Greg

[dontunderstand]

I am sorry to hear about all that you are going through!  It will get better...  
File immediately!  Everyday that passes is just another day that the judge will look at you and say "Why did it take you so long if she is so important to you?"  
Also as stated before call, try to see her even though you know that she won't let you, at least you tried.  Also I can not stress to you how much you need to DOCUMENT EVERYTHING.  You call her, write it down, date and time and what happened even if you just leave a message write it down, etc.  It will show that you have been trying and she isnt' letting you see her...
Best of luck, it is a long hard road, but hang in there!

[wendl]

I know you don't want the divorce, but seems like she does and no stopping that.

It is always better to file 1st, plus do you really want to wait over 2 months to see your child.

File for divorce, a parenting plan etc.

Document Document, and continue to try and see your child.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[gipsy]

If there is no order in place there is nothing she could do if you took the child , You are not Disobeying a court order , Want to play , Go get the child and file a restraining order on her and keep the child . Say she is living with a man that you feel puts the child welfare in jeopordy , And file  a temp order that say's you have custody , If you leave it like this the court won't pay much attention if you Try to say " the child is living with a dangerous man and you did nothing to take the child out of there ,'
   I say this because my atty told me one that if I kept my son . It would take court action for her to get Him back , Because there was no order " He did not say Go take your son , He said " if I did " I couldn't get into trouble because there was no order stating who has custody " SOOO
  If you won't do that then you have to file for divorce and get a temp order , Or File separation papers , Or maybe just file a temporary parenting plan ,
  If she is dirty she will make up the typical abuse story about you < And you should have , Order To Appoint A Guardian Ad litem in the same Fileing or you have to wait to file that , All this takes time . And I know how divorce is a big step , And hard to initiate , But the facts are she is liveing with another man , And The court will not enforce visitation till you have an order that say;s you have it , SOOO . Call a Bunch of atty's and Keep asking if they can file the papers and you will show up at court pro se ,
  Or call the court and make an appointment with a courthouse facilitater , And or ask if there is a night when atty's help people file pro se documents , And or just go to the courtr  and go to commissioner services ,
 These are all options in Pierce county washington , And it may be different where you are , But if you are patient and ask with a pen and paper in hand to write down who what when and where , You can get the court to help file , I have filed stuff myself , And When I was Nice , Very nice and asked the people at the court where I go to file certain papers , They were pretty helpful ,But you need to write stuff down , Becuase they told me to go to the law library and get a certain paper , And By the time you get there you can't remmember all they told you about who stamps what , And she has to be served etc , And any one can serve her , Here they file a affidavit of service and you turn it into the court , Or you can pay a process server ,
  SPARC has a drop down list of courts and papers etc , Just post again about your area , And what you file , And some one will know rthats been through it , I think you will file a temprary parenting plan . And separation papers or dissolution of marriage , But all this takes time . My atty filed a Emergency Order Shortening Time once for My visitaion . And it got to court in like two weeks ,
  Don't give up , And keep posting and asking , And post On Socrateasers board , And read his info about how to format , Remmember this is the daily grind at the court and they will basically want the facts . Not all about her and her boy friend etc Your declaration will read something like ,
   We are separated , I have not seen My doughter because Mom won't cooperate , I need the courts intervention , And on order stipulating when My parenting time is ",
   I have been to court a number of times and My best results are when I said to My atty , Whom relayed to the court
   Mr XXX Just wants to see his son < And mRs ZZZ Won't cooperate , And we need a court order, Then the psycho made up Allegations and there had to be a Guardian ad Litem , And this took a long time 3 . or 4 months , Then there was A GAL report , Andf the GAL report said . Mr X Should have regular visits with Minor child , And the commissioner Signed A temp Parenting plan < personally . If My Ex moved in with another man I would file for the dissolution , But this is a hard choice , I filed for disolution pro se , And it went fine , I had to get an atty , But all in all you could do alright if you use a parrelgal service also .
  I Had to have the court order visitation , And every advance due to My son getting older , I did it with an atty but if you have no money the best thing you could do is, Call the court and say you want to know where the hearings start ,  
 Like here In Pierce county you go see the commissioner for the intial temp hearings  , And its in the Basement , You need to find out where you start , Like ask a couple atty's , And If they can't tell you ask a couple more because you wouldn't want to hire one if they cant tell you , Then go watch that court , I Never had My atty say any thing astounding , Basically . Mr X wants a parenting plan ,
  Basically when the mom made up allegations about me , The court would not do any thing untill the Guardian ad Litem reported to the court that' there was not a fact that verified the mothers allegations , And I should have regular visits' , Then when the court got the report , the commissioner stamped My parenting plan , So there  is a process to this < And dont think you lost the war in one go round , Just find out what the next step in the process is . And Have your pay stubs ready because she will get child support , But if she doesn't ask then don't say any thing just get the visits ordered . Thats what I did <

[gipsy]

It didn't seem to make much difference , because they can file some argument against what you filed , Fileing first doesn't mean you get your way , But It sounds that you may as well get it over with , My Atty advised me to file , After I told him what happened , He said she can reconsile during the process if you want , But this will get the orders in place , And Start the clock ticking to D DAY

[wendl]

Yep Gipsy at least by filing 1st you have some kind of legal papers if the mother/father denies access to the child.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**