how to help someone be open to others ideas?

[spinner]

ok so I know and have learned through the years that we cannot change someone.

I have also learned that the other parent always (mostly always) that in their selfishness they are doing the best for the child.

SO I am wondering from some of you. What are some good technics to "help" the other parent be objective to a different point of view ???

For example, I think that school A is better than School B for a child. I base my findings on states reports. A is rated a 5 star school and B a 3 star however the other parent believes her school B is as good if not better than A. That the rating of schools is flaud. The mediator and many other peoples that I find "neutrals" agree with star rating. shrinks agrees as well but Mother WILL NOT see objectively.

What are some of the technics to help someone be more objective?
how do you know when someone simply will not look at a problem with an open mind and when it is time to stop trying to convince them and ask the court to rule through a motion ?

[mistoffolees]

You come across as 'I'm right and you're wrong'. Even in cases where you're comfortable with your position, it's important to listen AND HEAR what the other person says. They may simply have a different perspective.

For example, in the case of the schools, if the star ratings were the only thing to be considered, there might not be much to discuss. But perhaps the other person is looking at the safety of the neighborhood, proximity, availability of extracurricularl activities, ability to socialize with a broad range of people, or any of about a zillion other factors.

Don't enter the discussion wondering how you can convince the other person you're right. Rather, approach it as an exploration - for both of you to get a chance to better understand the other and maybe seek out novel solutions.

Butting heads never works.

[spinner]

yes you are right, this is good advise, that's what I am looking for.

It's not always easy to deal with the other and even with myself :)

[mistoffolees]

Glad you took it well. I agonized over writing my previous response because I was worried that you'd take it as an attack. I felt that it was important to hear that side of things, so I went ahead. I'm happy I did.