Sad Milestone to Reach

[notnew]

This from the Legal Reader on May 21st:

For the first time, California will spend more on incarcerating inmates than it does on higher education.

Wonder what legislators, educators, and the courts are doing for kids and parents who are being victimized by the system while all this is going on? I am sure we all know the answer to that one already.

I will not be shocked to see this happening in more states. A sad commentary on our priorities and values.

[backwardsbike]

I agree with you.  It seems to be that we are curently in the "lock'em up mentaility".  Every so many decades things seem to switch between rehaiblitation and punishment.  While rehabilitation is 100% effective, IMHO, it beats theheck out of punishment which serves no purpose at all.  We know it doesn't deter crime because the prisons are filled to overflowing.

I am in the camp of seeing that people are given ameans to meet thier basci needs so that a life of crime will be less appealing. Let's face it- its tought o tell a young drug dealer he should change his ways and go to work at a job that pays $6 or $7 an hour instead of making 2 to 3 K a week dealing drugs.  However, if edcuation were more accessible and affodable perhaps that same young dealer would find a place for himself in corproate America amkeing a good living legally.

[mistoffolees]

>I agree with you.  It seems to be that we are curently in the
>"lock'em up mentaility".  Every so many decades things seem to
>switch between rehaiblitation and punishment.  While
>rehabilitation is 100% effective, IMHO, it beats theheck out
>of punishment which serves no purpose at all.  We know it
>doesn't deter crime because the prisons are filled to
>overflowing.

Where in the world did you come up with the belief that rehabilitation is 100% effective?

[notnew]

I do not feel rehabilitation is 100% effective. I feel that jail time is too soft and there are too many opportunities for inmates to make jail a real deterrent to a criminal lifestyle. I do feel that everyone who is deemed to need rehabilitation should get one shot at getting that type of help. After that one time, you lose that and it's go straight to jail time.

I know jail is not fun. But it is 3 hots and a cot and education, medical care and freedom from financial responsibilities for many.

I remember chain gangs in VA when I was a child. I believe we need to go back to labor based prisons and I don't feel inmates should be paid for their work. They are working to cover the costs of there confinement. I also believe that jail terms should be longer and mandatory to serve the entire sentenence. I don't think inmates should get tv (cable or not) and other amenities. I do believe they should get the basic (minimum) level of medical care. I have an uncle who has been in federal penetentiary for 37 years. He has Chron's Disease and AIDS now. He was treated at the Mayo Clinic for years. He gets the best medical care available I believe. I know that were he on the outside, he would be dead by now because there is no way he could have gotten such a high level of medical care on the outside. I have disowned this man because he is a predator and has committed awful crimes and would do so again if he were let out and physically able. I feel he doesn't deserve to live and he certainly doesn't deserve better medical car then those of us who are obeying the law, living productive lives, and working to pay for our existence.

If you knew you were going to get your hand cut off for stealing, would you steal? I don't think we need to go to that extreme, but feel that if the punishments were real and stiff, that people wouldn't want to come back to jail.

AND many dysfunctional youths are created by the actions of courts that remove a parent's involvement when that parent is trying to do the right thing (like many of us experience) and allow a permissive parent full control of a child who is then doomed to a lower quality of life due to being unprepared for the real world.

[backwardsbike]

Mist--it was a typo- should have read rehabilitation is NOT 100% efffective. Nothing is.

Ihave been doing some work with State inmates with drug and alcohol issues.  Will all of them change? heck no.  Will all people on the outside change with "treatment"? Nope.  Any rehabilitation is always a chance you take- but even if only a small percetage were to be rehabilitated it would be better than none.

I can only speak for the prison where I work- beleive me- its not too soft. Grown men subsist on amounts of food that would probably cause even a child to loose weight and the "meatis grade D.  I eatthere when I'm working-so I havehad the "pleasure" of eating the same things the inmates do.  On top of that the place has only two temperatures- boiling hot or freezing cold.  I'm in there with them- I know.  The inmates I work with are paid- .19 to .25 cents an hour.  Out of each pay they must put money towards fines and restitution- same with those who go out on early realse to halfway houses.  Fines are paid before money is sent to a family or before the inmate can spend it on himself.

These men have broken the law.  They are not all antisocial,however.havea  capacity to think of others, some can change.  We don't have a really relaible way of picking those guys out from the ones who are just gonna screw up again.  I, for one, think it wrong to make a man pay for his entire life after he' served his time.

My husbsand has been in jail numerous times.  Its part of the reason I do not have custody of my children.  But what my husband din't find out about himself until his late 30;s is that he sufferes from biploar disorder.  he was, like many who have this illness, medicating himself with alcohol and speed.  This is a common issue with people hwo have bipolar.  its a hard disease to treat.  Once my husband was diagnosed he turned around quite nicely.  He takes medication daily to help stabilize his mood and will be attending counsleing for a long time to help him learn to cope with his illness adn the stigma attached to it adn his criminal record.  he falls often adn the custody battle- even to maintain EOW weekend visitation was an issue my X played like a fiddle.  Any time court was comin gup he'd escalate things with me.  Withhold visits, withhold medical information anyhting to casuse stressa dn my husband would fall off the wagon.  I decidd to end visits with my older, noncustodial kids when they began making false accusations themselves.  I decided to just be with myhusband and the two children we have who need stabiltiy.  Since my decison, our lives have become calmer ad my husband is spending more time being the best father he can be. he is a room parent, field trip chaparone, tutor at our son's elementary school.  But still carries that record.

I personally would make it madatory for every inmate to undergo a full evalution.  Rehabilitation would be successful more often if we were treating the right problems.  Before you make harsh judgements, Please consider getting to know some people in the system besides your relative.  I am sorryyou were  affected by someone who is not able to be rehabilitated adn they do exsist- I'm the first to admit that.  But, let's not throw the baby out with the bath water, shall we.

[notnew]

I am sorry but I disagree with you.

I have not dealt with only one relative. My mother, her sister, and her two brothers are/were all bi-polar. I have an addictive personality and have ADD that was not diagnosed until my early 30's. Did I struggle in life? Hell yes I did, but I KNEW what was wrong to do and I never got into trouble. I am not saying I never did anything illegal, but I never robbed or stole from anyone. I never hurt anyone. I partied some but never got into hard drugs. But that is all part of the past and I don't live like that anymore. I don't make excuses for it. I just don't do it and I don't want anyone around who does.

I am and have been caretaker for my bi-polar mother since I was a child myself. 8 years ago, I moved back home to take over and take care of her. I own the home we live in now, but she would never be able to make it on her own. I had to chase off druggies who she partied with all the time. She smokes pot and sees nothing wrong with it. I have to battle this all the time. I even got her busted and she was on probation for two years. She sees me as an advesary, but knows that I love her and I am taking good care of her. She is 61, but has no friends her age due to her child like mentality. This is a burden for me but I will do what is right for my mother because there is nobody else to share this load with except for my wife who married into this mess and doesn't deserve to have to deal with this crap.

My uncle who is in federal detention is a predator. He snuck into women's apartments and raped them in the middle of the night. He stole things from people. He was broken when he was born. He is a waste of space on the earth. He will only do more wrong given the opportunity.

My aunt has been dead for several years from liver failure. When she was languishing in a nursing home near the end of her life (and she was the baby of the four), my mother wanted to bring her up from FL. to care for her. I said absoultely NO. My aunt vicitmized everyone around her for our entire lives with her mood swings. She would not take medication. She was a drug addict. She would bring strangers home to party up. She was physically abusive. She died by her own hand. I am glad she didn't get a liver transplant, because if she did, she would only be repeating the same behaviors. Another waste of space. She caused a lot more damage in her life to herself and others then good.

My other uncle has been married since I was about 2-3 years old. His wife has gone through a lot of stuff. His condition is controlled medically, but he is still unable to do a lot of things.

While I know that they are bi-polar, there is more going on then meets the eye with all of them. In that I mean mental problems. I thank GOD that the worst I got from all of this was ADD which has made me a very Type A person and with medication I am able to maximize that trait to be a benefit rather then a burden to society.

I do believe though that ADD is overdiagnosed. Medications are in place of poor parenting. We are creating really bad kids who have no conscious and feel no empathy for those around them or for the havoc they wreak on others. It is the "me" mentality. Give it to ME. I deserve it. I am entitled to it. You are seeing this in your work I am sure.

I did not say that everyone should not be entitled to a chance at rehabilitation. I said give everyone ONE chance. If you blow it, then that is IT. I do not like MY tax dollars supporting repeat offenders through rehab over and over again. NOBODY helped me through life. I've had to scrabble for everything I have. My success is MINE alone. I don't have anyone to thank for what I have accomplished in life. In fact, those who should have been supporting me, teaching me values and directing me into positive life choices were doing the exact opposite. I had to totally reverse everything I had been raised to believe. I knew it was wrong, I felt it inside and I had to make the change for MYSELF. It has not been easy, but I have peace in my heart and mind.

I am responsible for the things that happen to me in my immediate life. If I don't go to work, I will lose the things I have. If I drink too much, I will lose the things I have. If I had led the life my family led me to, I would have NEVER had anything or the love and wonderful relationship I have with my wife.

MORE people need to realize that they are responsible for themselves and their own actions. All of this my parents were mean to me, I was abused, I was neglected, on and on whining as an EXCUSE for bad behavior that is swallowed by all of these IDIOTS MAKES ME SICK!

I was beaten as a very young child by my father. I was verbally abused by my mother. I was neglected. What have I done with my life? I HAVE OVERCOME ALL OF THIS WITH NO CRIMINAL RECORD, NO ASSISTANCE FROM ANY FEDERAL OR STATE LEVEL PROGRAMS, NO REHAB and NO THERAPY! It took some time, but I figured it out for myself. I also have a wonderful and loving relationship with my father. See, my dad was abused too and as a young man was simply repeating that behavior. Later on, he felt awful and was tortured over guilt. He apologized to me over and over until I finally told him I forgave him and to please stop thinking about it because it was no fun visiting him when he got depressed and guilt ridden every time. Since then we have developed a great relationship. My mother on the other hand sees no wrong in her actions throughout her life and for what she has done to me. I will never forgive her and I will never forget, but I do not hate her and I do what is right for her as her only child. BUT, I will exercise my control of the situation to keep her from doing wrong to anybody else as she did to me and also to keep her as close to the correct side of things as possible.  I do not condone her actions or allow her to use drugs in my home just because she thinks it's okay.

I am glad your husband has been able to pull his life together. But, the criminal record he "has to carry with him forever" is HIS. He did it. There is no way he can change it. He will have to live forever with that and that is part of the punishment aspect of this. If he didn't want to live with this, he should not have allowed himself to be in the position he did.

Bums on the street ask for money. Many of them go straight to the liquor store or to the drug dealer with the money. Some go and buy food for the day. How am I to know who is the right one to give money to? I don't so nobody gets any.

I am sorry that you and I see things differently. Your husband is very lucky. If I were married to someone who went to jail, I would not be around when they got out. I am not going to be drug down by anyone. If  you love me, you don't put our lives at risk. That is how I feel. I say your husband is lucky because he has gotten a lot of chances to right things and I hope he continues with the success he is having now. I would not want to take that away from him. You say the people in the jail you work at eat bad food and live in extreme cold or hot. SO WHAT! Good for them. If they don't like it, they don't have to come back EVER AGAIN. They are in control of that, not you or me or anyone else.  You say we don't know who we should give chances to or not. Exactly. We don't know. You were willing to take a chance with your husband and that has been at your sacrifice. I am not willing to make that sacrifice for anyone and I resent that people look at me as if I've done wrong for feeling that way.

The life that I have led has made me despise people who are weak and in my opinion, are sucking the life out of the stronger ones. All species on this earth except for humans are a survival of the fittest mentality. If you are sick and weak, you are a drag on the strength of the rest and are put out to survive or not on your own. Many species kill off the sick. Instead, we hold the weak up and take better care of them then we do the strong. What this is doing is making the human race a weak one and we are all seeing the results of this everyday.

When I say weak or sick. I don't mean a person who is handicapped, but otherwise lives a productive life. If  you can't walk and you are still living, working, contributing to your family, etc., then you are a strong person. If you can't walk and you lay in a nursing home allowing your muscles to atrophy while being depressed with your life, then you are a weak person. If you can't do some things, but can do others AND do the things you can, then that is a positive and productive move. However, our society holds each of these two up to the same level and that is not right.

You have to get up off of your ass and take care of yourself and be responsible no matter what condiiton you were raised in, what physical condition you have been dealt with, etc. The fact that in our society, you don't have to do this has created a huge leech sucking the lifeblood out of us who are supporting them. And when the flow is exhausted, these are the very ones who will be screaming and demanding more even after they've killed the source of milk and honey.

Am I too hard? Maybe so. But nobody takes advantadge of me and nobody is using me. If that is wrong, then I'll be wrong my whole life.  

I am sickened by the news post about California spending more on prisoners then educating children. This is a prime example of our strong feeding the weak at their expense. OUR CHILDREN ARE OUR GREATEST ASSET. Yet we are wasting this in order to house and support the very ones who would make those children drug abusers, theives, prostitutes, gang bangers, etc.

Why people can't see things for what they are is beyond me.

I don't mean to start an argument. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and decisions in their lives. I am not judging you or your husband. You are probably good people who are working to raise yourself out of bad circumstances. I hope you are successful. I think one day, you may see things differently, but then again,  you may not. I have not always had this opinion, it has come with age and wisdom I believe.

I don't enjoy seeing the suffering of others or desire that others experience pain or troubles. However, I do not feel sorry for those who bring problems onto themselves.

Sorry this is so long. This is one of my pet peeves. I guess you can see that.