Health insurance coverage

[nancymd]

My DH is required to provide health insurance. We have no problem with this. The insurance he was getting at work was inadequate for my major medical problems so when I went to work for the state, I was able to get much better coverage. We put his children on it. His ex got really angry and refused to use it because it was in my name. It was Blue Cross/Blue Shield so was a good policy. She said no one in her state would take it. I gave her a booklet with 100 medical providers within 20 miles of her home who were in network. I told her she might have to pay then file a claim if that was the problem. She said she wouldn't do that because they might send me the refund check.

We have been to court twice in the last two years. Both times involved Child support Enforcement and were to emancipate the children as they became adults. Because of the way the support order was written, we have to emancipate each child. When the second one was emancipated, they reduced the child support by $200 to $650 since we only pay for one child now. Anyway, she brought up the insurance, claiming it was bad insurance. The judge ruled that there was no problem with my providing the insurance but we don't get a credit on the child support for the premiums since they are not my biological children. We do, however, get credit for providing the insurance.

Today, I received a summons for my DH in the mail. No complaint was attached and I had to make phone calls to Virginia for 2 hours until I could find someone willing to look up the case and tell me what it was about. Court date is in 3 weeks. I was told that she filed to ask the judge to order us to pay her so that she can put the child on her insurance.

Now, we are already paying for two health policies - one in my name and one in my DH's. She now wants us to pay her as well for a third policy.

The clerk at the court who talked to me did explain how I could apply for DH to attend by phone since the costs of going to court are so high. We are in Oklahoma and the court is in Virginia. DH does not get paid leave so it costs us considerably when we have to go to court there.

Oh, about a year ago, the minor child (15) called me to ask why her father refused to take out insurance so they could go to the doctor. She said they all needed to go to the doctor but Dad won't buy insurance so Mom can take us. I tried to tactfully tell her that her mother was full of it. Actually, I told her we had insurance on them and that her mother had the cards.

We have had BM try to file using old expired cards in DH's name and we have had her tell doctors that DH is responsible for the entire bill but give the doctor her address. The bills went to her house. She didn't forward them. We found out 2-3 years later when they showed up in collections on DH's credit. At that point, the doctor refused to hear that she was responsible, not us.

Is there anything to do to stop this harassment? If we can't get approval to attend by phone, it will cost nearly $3000 to show up at court.

[MixedBag]

File a counter claim for all expenses associated with defending her frivilous motion and appearing in court.

Fight the credit reports through the credit bureaus, not the doctor's offices.  Make them show you/dad where you/dad signed and authorized the care.

Contact all doctor's offices, dentists, etc, and make sure that they have up to date information on both of your insurances.

Refuse to reimburse mother until both companies process claim.

AND EX#3 took his EX to court and said "Your honor, she's not using participating providers, therefore, the health care costs are much greater than necessary."

HIS judge found in favor of EX#3 and the decision basically said that Mom must use participating providers or else the cost is hers.

Your problems (unfortunately) are very common for high conflict cases.  Stinks.....

[nancymd]

Here's the hearing results. We were allowed to attend by telephone.

First, after two written requests, DH was never provided with a copy of the Complaint and/or allegations. We only knew what a clerk told us.

Second, only EX was allowed to testify. DH was not.

Third, Judge said EX testified under oath that our insurance "would not work" so that was what he would go by

Fourth, despite our having two existing insurance policies, DH was ordered to pay directly to EX the sum of $292.50 per month beginning March 1 so that she could put kid on her husband's insurance. She was not required to provide proof that this figure was accurate and only for the kid, not a family policy.

So, we not only have to pay $655 CS per month to the court for the one child  but we also have to pay $292.50 per month directly to the EX starting in 2 weeks. This is in addition to the two policies we currently have.

We have faxed an application to Child Support Enforcement to have them give us credit off the CS for the insurance premium. We are considering filing an appeal but don't know how we would pay for the attorney.

DH is expecting to be laid off the end of this week and won't have a new job starting for another month or so.

The EX has refused to allow us to know who the doctors, dentists, etc are so contacting them is impossible. We have tried in the past to obtain school information but she blocked that at the school.

We feel like we are just sitting here being targets for whatever she wants.

[Giggles]

I would certainly appeal!!!  It does sound like you have grounds for an appeal and since this ruling will cost you possibly over $10K it may be worth the $$.

It is rediculous because BC/BS is accepted EVERYWHERE!!  That is the reason I carry it for my children and I!  My son visits his father in WI during the summer so I make sure he takes up his card so if something were to happen, his Dad can take him to the DR.  Just this past Christmas we were down in FL on vacation, my son got sick and I took him to the ER...Didn't have one single problem with them accepting it!!  She is full of crap!!!

[nancymd]

I just found out by accident that we only have 10 days to file an appeal. It is really hard to find an attorney in a different state who is good as well as willing to work with us on the cost.

My husband told me last night that the Stafford County Virginia jail has more fathers in jail on child support and other related child payment issues (not abuse, etc) than drugs. He was in there for a brief time a number of years ago and said there were many fathers there who owed $500 or less. This qualifies as debtor's prison.

[MixedBag]

I think since you said DH was gonna be laid off in a week, I'd file for CS to be recalculated once he gets his new job.

And then when the hearing happens, GO TO THE HEARING with documentation in hand.

It sounds like there's "bigger" problems brewing if dad can't get names of doctors and stuff, and school information.  That shouldn't be happening.

As for the BC/BS coverage -- yes, great insurance, BUT from personal experience since my son is covered by them too, dad's policy has son as "out of network" when he is here with me.

Since you say you're in a different state than kids, maybe your policy is similar.

Dad's deductible is set at $1000 so it takes a good while before his insurance actually kicks in.  Thankfully mine is set much lower to reduce out of pocket expenses.

Sounds like you're also on a downhill slide and that the kids who are left will emancipate soon....

[nancymd]

When I was in SC, I had BC/BS and paid extra to get the more expensive policy so that the kids were "in network" in Virginia. The deductible was $500.

The policy I have now is Global Health and has no deductible but is best for necessary emergency room visits and medications.

The policy my husband has now is BC/BS and the kids are in network.

The reason my husband didn't go to the hearing was because of the cost. It would have cost about $4000 to pay a retainer for an attorney, travel expenses for my husband and three days of lost wages. We didn't have that kind of money.

Parental Alienation Syndrome is rampant there. After the hearing, DH's older son (21) called him and cursed him out for "screwing over his family". DH told him he had two families to take care of and was doing his best. Kid says "no, you only have one family right here that you are responsible for and you do a $*%$ lousy job of it. He also threatened to come beat up his father.

Thank goodness the youngest one will be 16 this month and in a couple of years, we never have to deal with them again. DH is ready to write them all off himself, as much as he has always loved them.

[MixedBag]

Nancy.....I too travelled 750 miles to attend court (AL to WV).

EX#3 always flew to be in court (AL to NV) and sometimes I went with him.  And court was a 3 hour drive out into the boonies once we landed in NV.  So yes, fly, rent a car, night in a hotel, court, return car, fly back.  One time, we actually changed planes 4 times to make it back here.

I had 3 steps, and one of my own where we were Non-custodial.....note I said were....

His kids were alienated to that point as well....but we managed to turn it around.  and we were long distance when it was accomplished.

(And EX#3 f'cked it up quite quickly with his son after we split up, and son has returned to mom....another chapter, done).





Travelling to be there is part of the situation.

For the PAS, read Divorce Poison -- get it on e-bay.

[nancymd]

It is 1800 miles one way - a full day's flight (Oklahoma City to Washington DC). DH does not get paid leave and it's a day's flight each way plus the day for court. So, adding up the flight, 2 nights in a hotel, rental car, and lost wages, it's expensive not even counting the attorney.

My DH has tried his best to turn his kids around but they just keep getting worse and worse. I bought Divorce Poison and actually got him to read parts of it. Well, he prefers that I read to him then we discuss it. It has helped him to see that it wasn't HIM.

With only 10 days to file an appeal, we have no way to get the money for an attorney so we can't go that route. And we have to come up with an additional $300 to send March 1 for the insurance premium on the third policy. Child support enforcement folks are on her side, not ours. To do what they want so that we can request a reduction in child support due to the health insurance premium, it will take nearly a year.

We are totally frustrated with the Child Enforcement Dept in Virginia. When you call, you only get a call center. The operators insist on answering your questions and making decisions but we aren't happy with having to trust the decisions they make.  If you want your case manager to call, it will be 7-10 business days IF they call back at all. Usually they don't call back. We have managed to get through to DH's case manager by sending a fax directed to the case manager. That way we were getting a response within about 2 days. Now, however, that avenue has been closed. The case manager supervisor called and was chilly to the point of rudeness. We are to deal with her. Actually, she says only DH can deal with her now although he has filed the proper paperwork there for them to discuss the case with me and accept letters from me. We set this up because DH travels extensively to find work and I have the printer, fax machine and full access to a phone. So apparently DH and I are no longer allowed to talk to the case manager.

We are really uncomfortable sending BM a monthly check for $292.50. At least we have some protection sending the child support through DCSE. BM has tried to get DH to drop the insurance coverage before stating to him that she had the kids on Medicaid. He contacted the case manager who told him that no, the kids were NOT on Medicaid and DH was responsible for insurance or would go to jail. BM has proven before that she would rather DH go to jail than have the insurance.
 

[MixedBag]

Since you've disabled your PM's...

my point was that he should have gone to court and in this case, I believe that since he didn't things really turned out lopsided.

I agree with you in that your challenges are greater than normal, much greater.....

You seem to understand what's going on.

Just noticed that greatdad here on the site is in VA -- maybe you should hook up with him via e-mail or something to compare notes?