School play question

[tjraid18]

 My kids (2nd & 3rd grade) have a play on the 26th, Which is also Briannas birthday. I wont go into all the denied school access here. But I will say my kids principal is about as helpfull as a bullfrog on vaalume.
   Anyway, I just wanted to know if anybody has any ideas about what I can do to try to make it to the play. I have a no-contact order with my ex. The principal said I could go to the play. After I talked to the superintendant. I have asked the kids to ask their mom to let me know if it's alright if I go. I've been asking for three weeks. But I have'nt heard anything that assures me I can go from the ex. I've only gone to one play of theirs. I would really like to go. Should I ask the D.A. if they will make an exception for me to go to the play? Help!!!

[Kitty C.]

Talk to your atty. and ask if it would be okay to hire an off-duty cop to accompany you.  It IS a public event and there's no way she can tell you you CAN'T come.  We haven't had to deal with TRO's, but the PBFH still got really pissy when I would show up to SS's events, and when DH informed her these are PUBLIC events and she has absolutely NO control over who can be there, she finally shut up.

[tjraid18]

     Thank you kitty c.
 
  But I don't currently have an attorney and don't at the moment have the money for one. Hopefully I'll figure something out to be able to make it. The one play I did go to was called "How Does Your Garden Grow?" and it was great! Cameron was one of the weeds and they did a little rap/poem type song and got great applause. Brianna was one of the daisies and was too shy to sing along but still was great. After the play I met some of the other parents and some of my kids' schoolmate friends. We played in the playground a little berfore I left. I could tell it meant a lot to the kids to have their dad there. I remember being a kid and having my parents come to school functions and playing after, and how fun it was. It's a feeling that should not be denied any children.
  My kids are lucky, they go to a very small rural charter school. I'm not sure, but there are probably only 40 or so kids grades one through six. It's a great environment. I just wish badly that I could be more a part of their experiences!!

[Kitty C.]

When you went before, did you have a TRO on you then?  Do you know any cops as friends?  Another option is to call your local LEA and ask them what you can do, since it IS a public event.  or else have a couple other friends go with you, with one going in first to 'scout' and find out where she's at, then you can go in and be assured that you are the 'proper' distance from her that the TRO allows. Keep the friends with you, so that if she sees you there and moves in YOUR direction, you have witnesses to the fact that SHE was the one who violated the TRO, NOT you!

[tjraid18]

   Kitty, thats a really good idea to take a few friends and scout it out first. I do know a few law enforcement guys. That might be an opyion as well. Thank you!!!
                               tj
   
     I'll let you know how things go......


                           ~ From small acorns grow mighty Oaks ~

[Kitty C.]

I hope it all goes well!  I know how important these events are to the kids!

DH works out of town all week and any events SS is in that happen during that time, he at least wants me to attend, and I wouldn't miss them anyway!  Last year at SS's spring music concert, I went down front to takes some pics and was crouched beside a big speaker.  SS spotted me and I waved at him.  He gave a fleeting glance in PBFH's direction, but realized she couldn't see me, so he gave me a BIG grin!  Then I blew a kiss at him and he just beamed!  He also makes a point of finding my mom and giving her a big hug, too.  

Baseball games will be starting shortly.........I can't wait!

[littlebit]

See my post on the Visitation page entitled "PAS: losing...".  It relates directly to this.

Another suggestion, take a video camera and keep it on even before & after the play.  Although it worked OK for me, you can bet I'll never be w/out my camera again.

Good Luck!

[tjraid18]

    littlebit .....
I have a no contact order with my ex through the court because I went out to her house almost two years ago to talk to her about seeing the kids (she was not letting me) and I got arrested. It was a set up. It was planned. She used my desire to be a father to my kids against me and it worked. If I go to the play and she is there I could be found in violation of the no-contact order. It is not a resraining order, but similiar. There is no specific wording about distance in the order --- it just says no contact.
I just submitted a letter to the judge requesting if I can go --- but there is probably not enough time to get a reply before the play.
If I did go but was on opposite sides of the room and made sure it stayed that way it might work. But I'm not sure I want to bet my freedom on it. Also that would make it awkward for the kids. Last play mom and I were sitting together, even though we were no longer married.                              


                                                 I'll let you know what happens.

                                                                                               tj
                         ~ From small acorns grow mighty Oaks ~

[littlebit]

Double check about the specific restrictions your no-contact order imposes.  There is one in effect right now between my wife & my ex, but it doesn't prevent attending this type of event.

The ruling for us just happened this week, so we haven't seen any paperwork on it yet.  But the way the DA explained it to us is that it is different than a Restraining Order which specifically states the physical distance that you must keep between the two of you.

On the contrary, a NC order does not take into account physical distance, only "physical or verbal contact".  Such as a phone call to the other person, initiating a conversation with them during pick-up / drop-off of the children, or brushing against them on the shopping isle in Wal-Mart.

We specifically asked 'What about group activities such as church plays, school events, etc.?'  The DA told us that it is fine for us to go to these type of events because they are open to the public, and our intent is not to make contact with the other party.  As long as we do not speak to them, walk up to them, or bump them in the punch line we are fine.

LittleBit's Dad

[djwhite]

I am a school administrator, and I do not understand why the school access denied issues.  Do you have joint-custody? If you do then you should have a copy of that at your child's school.  The no contact order is between you and your ex, right?  I agree with the superintendent, you should be allowed to go.  If the school district has it's own legal department or attorney, you could double check with them to be sure of the district's position.  It sounds like this is a small district so they may not have an attorney for you to talk to, though.  If you still haven't heard from the mom on this, you might try asking the teacher to call the mom.  This might avoid any accusations of you using the kids as messengers.  Know what I mean??