Looking for some opinions on animal cruelty...

[smtotwo]

First and foremost, if DH and I bring this up to either social services or psychomommy its going to look like we're angry with her for her stunt last week.

However, I've been mulling this over for 3 weeks now and simply don't know what to think about it.

3 weekends ago 8 yr old stepson "accidently" broke the neck on a 3 week old kitten.  No one else was in the room and he said he closed the recliner on it.  I absolutely believed it was accident until last week when they were here.

I found stepson had the only kitten we have left from the litter, under the lid for a shoebox.  I watched for about a half minute before I intervened.  He was shoving the box pretty roughly over the bed, could hear kitten crying.  Then he leand down, full force on the box, I didn't let it get any farther, but he clearly would have crushed the box on top of the kitten if I hadn't seen it.

DH thinks I'm overreacting.  I told stepson that he is NOT ALLOWED to have any contact with any animal in our house.  NOT EVEN THE FISH!!

What would you guys make of this?

[jilly]

Your DH needs to get his head out of the sand. A child that is doing such things has a problem. It may be he is just doing this out of anger towards you, DH or both, but it's still a problem no matter the reason. Have you posted this on the other board that deals with these types of issues? I think you really need a profiessional opinion on this.

[smtotwo]

If you were to talk to DH about how I feel about this He'd make you think I'm nuts for suggesting it!!

I too think something needs to be done!!  Because we're so rural, our nearest Wal-Mart is 40 miles away,  I'm having a hard time finding any therapist!!  But I'll keep looking because clearly there are serious issues here.

[Kitty C.]

This child is crying out and doesn't have the words to tell anyone how he feels, so he's acting it out.

One other thing that I think you, and especially your DH should know.  And I'm not saying this to scare you, but just telling you what I've heard and read about this kind of thing (DS is ADHD, so I've read a LOT on many childhood problems and disabilities).  Some experts have found that children who harm animals (amongst other abnormal behaviors) have a higher potential of criminal behavior as an adult, including especially violent crimes.

Have you noticed, or know of anything else that he has done or is doing?  Any reports from school..what do his teachers or counselors say?

Print this out and hand it to your DH if he still thinks you're nuts.  Tell him that, if after being evaluated, nothing is found to be wrong, then no harm, no foul.  But to be honest with you, unless he's seen someone else being cruel or killing animals 'for fun' (which still would require intervention to help him understand that it is not allowed), this kid has something serious going on.

Let's put it this way:  if this behavior is allowed to continue unchecked, he will move on to other 'victims'.....like his friends or classmates.  And remember also.......animal cruelty IS a crime, regardless of age of the perpetrator.  

[Stepmomnow]

Lack of emphathy with helpless animals in a child of divorce is a strong warning sign that the child is not doing well and feeling helpless and hurt.  I agree with the previous posters - You have got to get both boys to see a therapist - and I think you need to start trying to find some evidence/support for your concerns, because you are right, after what happened with your son, it will look like you are trying to "get back"  at the kids for what happened to your son.

You might find some info on animal cruelty by kids on the internet to give to your DH.

Good Luck

[kitten]

Children naturally love animals and are interested in them.  I would be very concerned about this behaviour, it is the first step towards cruelty towards other human beings.  Actually, I feel it is probably the second step.  What I mean is that some kids torture and kill insects, most of them stop at that, the ones that move up from there need help.  He may be having some serious inner conflict and needs help.  

Good luck!

[onedaddy]

PLEASE!  This is a child in serious trouble. The school should offer help. If not travel as far a sit takes, this is very, very, very SERIOUS.  Please listen to what Kitty C. said, I too have read too many articles about what kids who hurt and kill animals do as adults. Many serial killers, have started out this way.  Research it yourself, you can start with Jeffrey Dahmer, and show it to DH.

YOU CANNOT LET THIS GO!
 

[Sherry1]

therapists will require both bio parents to authorize treatment, especially if dad is NCP, he will not be able to get the child into therapy without BM's written consent.

[smtotwo]

we don 't need psychomommys consent to treat, they have joint legal, and she refuses to acknowledge the problem so we've set up and appointment with a family psychologist who specializes in children of divorce.

Unfortunately, DH was denied visit this weekend so we don't have skids for 3 more weeks as the 5th isn't defined in order as his weekend. He gets 1st and 3rd only. 5th if the ex agrees.

Our first appointment is the 1st saturday of november.

[onedaddy]

Good luck!
I'm sure your SS will be a happier, well-adjusted, appreciative adult for this.