Waiving Parental Rights in California

[sparchelp]

As a man who has only been with this woman once 4 years ago and haven't seen her or spoken to her since. Can I waive all my rights to the kid? I found out recently through a friend that she went into my old employment and said that the kid she had 3 years ago might be mine.
Can I waive rights?

Thank you.

[olanna]

About The SPARC Web Site

Mission Goals
The SPARC Web Site is a 501(c)(3) Non-profit organization with one primary goal, which is to ensure that children of divorce have access to both parents, regardless of marital status.

To accomplish this, we have several specific secondary goals, which include:
assisting non-custodial parents (especially fathers) in obtaining fair and equitable custody arrangements;


disseminating information on Parenting Evaluations (also called Custody Evaluations);


raising awareness of issues that fathers and non-custodial parents face.

 

[wendl]

What your ex can do
1) file a motion to establish paternity
2) if paternity shows you are the father she can file a motion for cs
3) if you want to see child you will need to file motion for parenting plan (if she doesn't as cs and visitation are two seperate issues)
4) even if you give up parental rights, you will still need to pay child support if this child is yours.

My ex was engaged to a woman 5yrs ago, she had a child. They broke up and 5yrs later she went after him for cs, he has never seen this child and whola after 5yrs she files for cs and he is 5yrs in arrears.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[KAT]

I'm sorry; I have to respectfully disagree with #4 of wendls statement. There are specific states where termination of support also terminates the obligation to child support (11 so far). I believe CA is one of them but I'm not positive. You'll have to research it.

HOWEVER, unless there is a person (such as a step parent) willing to adopt (and depending on the age of said child) then the courts will not allow you to terminate your parental rights. TPR's are done in the best interest of the child. Would relieving the parent of their financial obligation be in the best interest of the child? No. TPR also relieves the child of the right to inherit, best interest, no. TPR also puts the state in the position of having to provide care for the child should something happen to the one parent (ex: welfare, speaks for itself). In addition, most states also frown upon what is essentially bastardizing children.

Do I agree a woman should be able to hide a pregnancy/birth for years & years? Have 100% of the joys of raising a child, 100% of the hugs & kisses then go after the man for support when she tires of financial burden? No. I think laws should be changed to at the very least provide for civil lawsuit remedies such as money damages for fraud & intention affliction of emotion distress. Make em' think twice I say! But that & 100 dollars will get you no where. However, myself & others are fighting for similar here in VA; we'll see where it goes. There are  sperm banks after all. Heck you buy it for 150 off the internet. There is no excuse in my mind for this type of behavior.

Now you can proceed with Wendles 1-3 if you wish. Visitation can not be forced so it will be your choice to be involved with the child. Who knows, perhaps the child will actually be in your care & custody full time one day. Maybe your child will be famous & contribute it all to the love her father. :0

Do note that a large study showed that 28-30% of DNA tests come back NOT the Daddy. Pretty sad showing of the moral character of our society I think....

KAT

[wendl]

Thanks Kat in regards to my #4, I was basing that off WA State.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[leftoverinmn]

Is it really 30%???? I wonder how many in that figure really don't know who the dad is, or are just hoping to fool the test?

[olanna]

I would like to see some link to that to prove it is true.

And really, the original question had nothing to do with doubting the child was his.  He wanted to know how to get out of parenting the child he *believed* he fathered and could he just waive his rights and do it.

If I would have posted something like..."I had a child a few years ago with a guy I haven't seen since I got pregnant.  I was wondering how I could leave the child for someone else to raise and end my parental obligation."...I would have been less than warmly greeted with advice.

Hence the reason I posted what Sparc is all about in this sitch. This sight is about equal parenting time and maintaining a relationship with your children.

True a paternity test would be a place to start so he would know for sure if the child is his. But here I see a guy assuming the kid is his, and he is wanted to end his responsibility to the child. This is NOT what SPARC is all about.

[KAT]

From the American Association of Blood Banks - 2001-02-26: "The overall exclusion rate for 1999 was 28.2% for accredited labs.

From the Sunday Times 2000-06-11: "More than 250,000 tests a year are now conducted in America,  roughly 30% of men taking the tests discover that they are not the fathers of the children they regarded as their own.

From the Dallas Morning News 1999-10-31: "DNA Diagnostics Center ... an industry leader, says 30 percent of the men it tests prove to be misidentified. Similar numbers come from the Texas attorney general's office, which enforces child support: About a quarter of the men who disputed paternity in the last year turned out to be right. In Florida, the proportion was one-third".

Really now Olanna, what advice did you contribute to this poster? All you did was admonish his question. If SPARC doesn't wish to have such questions posted then perhaps mention should be made in the TOS. Having been with SPARC for 5 years I have never known administration to be THAT intolerant of such questions.  This is subject that is going to come up again and again because somehow thru the ages a rumor got started about terminating parental rights. The poster was given several recourses by wendle & me. I do not feel that your slap on the hand for it was justified.

KAT

[olanna]

I read the same resources and most of them had disclaimers for many of the figures they gave, with a realistic number falling between 4 and 18%..which is far from 30%. But really...what do those statitics have to do with the original question? Not much...the guy didn't even want to know if he was father...just how to waive his rights and be done with it.

What advice do I contribute to this poster...(BTW, I have been around SPARC for about 5 years too, and I have seen mods in the past react the very same way I did to this question)...

I advised him that the SPARC parenting board is about nurturing relationships with children by both parents, (as it says on the about page) and maintaining contact with your child.  I was not intolerant of his question, I quoted what we were about and then I explained it as we got further and further from the original question.  Slap on the hand???  I veiw it as reality.  We aren't about helping anyone get out of parental responsibility...and if he is looking for that, he needs to go elsewhere. ( I would have said the same thing to any of my sons or brothers, if that brings it closer to home for you).

Now let me flip that question back to you...what advice did you contribute to this poster? You told him that 30% of the men out there that are thinking they are Dad, aren't. (You also gave him some great advice about how he could be involved with his child, if it was his)...but he doesn't even know or sound like he wants to know! I advised him to get the paternity test, but I would have never given him a false hope; I would look at *worse* case scerario...being he is the Dad.  It isn't like he accidentally fell into her vagina and ejaculated.  He never stated he had a vasectomy and he never stated he used a condom. So the only other conclusion I can make is that he had unprotected sex, the child could be his, and he is trying to wave parental rights because he doesn't want to be a parent to this child.  This is not what SPARC is about...not at all.  Hence, my post.

[KAT]

Olanna, I don't have time to deal with you.

If you want a fight, please look somewhere else.

 Just ask SPARC to ban me for answering a question & giving options.

 At this moment, I really don't care.

KAT