How do you get a 12 yr old to do their hw

[hopeful_25]

How do you get a child to do homework?  He is my ss.  Last night he lied about having it done.  When DH and I went through everything, nothing was completed.  He is at our house 50% of the time.  Mom is having same problems it seems.  We have tried rewarding him when he does it but since he lied DH is very disappointed and instead grounded him.  Would anyone have some ideas or motivational tools to help?  Thank you!

[joni]

I would suggest a family meeting between DH & BM.  They should come up with a plan as far as set times, sanctions and what not for doing homework at both households.  They should then sit down and SS and show a collective, unified front to let SS know the rules will be the same at both houses.

You'd have to stand firm. Let him know extracurricular activities, electronic games and other privleges will stop until he's responsible enought to do his homework.  If his grades slip, those activities will be replaced with a tutor or a private learning center.

[worriedmom]

I agree with joni.. stand firm and keep same rules at both houses..  That will prevent SS from playing "good guy, bad guy" on you and your ex and he will know what is expected. My brother had the same problem with 2 of my brothers on this issue. What she did(it helped) was call the teacher and let him/her know whats going on and the teacher would actually call my mom and let her know what homework was going to be coming home so my mom already knew what they were bringing home. My sons teacher has a computer in her room that she can recieve email on and thats how i communicate with her. See if you can send his teacher an email and then maybe she can just email his lessons  to you everyday until he understands what he is doing is not acceptable will not b tolerated. Hope this helps.....

[wysiwyg]

contact the school and see if they have a homework posted to the schools web site and or have the teacher email you daily with what HW is assigned.  No wiggle room for the child when you can say "where is page 25 for Language Arts and page 37 for Math?" Make the child show you it is complete or you could also draw up a weekly chart to be filled out by the child and initialed by the teacher as to waht is assigned and then initialled by the parent when it is cmplete.  Make sure both parents work together for this and once the child falls into a routine it will become easier for all.  

mother of 4 working for the school corporation!