comments?

[wysiwyg]

Went to pick up child last nioght for weekend BM stands in the doorway and says "See ya wouldn't want to be ya" then slammed the door when child went with dad.

Childish yes, derrogatry yes, but my opinion is that this sends damaging signals to the child and shows her incredible anger......

[Brent]

>Went to pick up child last nioght for weekend BM stands in
>the doorway and says "See ya wouldn't want to be ya" then
>slammed the door when child went with dad.

I highly recommend that you start documenting this in detail. One of the first things you'll hear is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is crucial, and these pages will help get you started:

Protecting Yourself During Divorce
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/protect.htm

Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

Some of these pages will apply more than others, but they all have valuable information. Also, get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is better.

[joni]

of course it does but don't you think the kid hears alot worse about dad when alone with mom on the other side of the closed door?

speaking from our experience, you need to lead a stellar life based on love, respect and compassion.  that's the message in your household.  the child WILL see the difference in the household and come to respect how you lead your life.  

kids are smarter than they let on, they see the forest for the trees.

[gipsy]

the above post is correct , My case has been through some similar things , And the  CHILD WILL SEE THE DIFFERENCE ! And the minute she denies visits . File contempt , There has to be immediate reactions to these types , Secondly , When I say good things about the mother to my son , It seems to have A much more winning effect , My son is clearly sick of his mother saying things about me , And I have found I get great favoritism , By not doing that crap , And Kids realise way more than you think . At first I reacted , And said a couple things in front of my son , But then I changed , And My son IS not confused at all about who's causeing the trouble here ,
 If you involve your self it's very confuseing to the child ,
 So I spend My time doing projects from the hobby store , Bowling etc ,
  Last but not least , YOU WANT To GIVE her a wake up call ?
  Have some one stand off to the side and video tape and catch this crap a few times , Then tell the camera operater to step out once , And say , You sure you want to be doing that kind of stuff !
   I video taped for similar reasons , And the BS stopped at the transfer , It seems to make them behave , And it makes them think you are serious , And they will get the bill from their atty when they have to call and  Ask if you can do it or not , My atty told me to do it , And said there doesn't even have to be any film in it < She will make a point of it And then you can bring it up at trial , As to why she doesn't want the tapes etc , Thats exactly what I did , As I was told to talk about to the judge , And My atty said the Judge got the point , It tells who's doing what

[mj]

sorry to hear this unfortunate game some tend to play...at the child's expense.  I am a SD for two wonderful childeren that I love to no end.  The other day when BM went to pick up the kids from their visit with BD, the two year old said, "I have two daddies."  BD screamed at BM to "MAKE THEM STOP CALLING HIM THAT!"  What does this to the kids?  The five year old once called BM from BD's place crying and wanting to come home.  After BM got her settled down, she said that BD was talking bad about us and she didn't want to stay with him because she was scared.  As the step father that has been around the youngest since she was 7 weeks, I cannot distinguish them as anything other than my own and it would be weird if they called me by my first name.  It wasn't until I was told by my bio daughter who was basically raised by her step dad, what time it actually is, that I began to try and see it from the kids perspective and it helps.  I never have nor will talk bad about their bio dad...he can earn that all by himself.  

Just keep a stiff upper lip and remember those times with your daughter should be special and all about you and her, never mind the bad talk. She will see that you are sincere and love her like nobodies business!