not married but father of child,mom decides to leave state and not come back

[TES]

I am 24yrs  a father of a now 4yr old  boy ,who has no idea what is going on and is mad at his daddy.I was in a 6yr relationship with my first love ,it  just ended last month.We were having some problems and all ,mostly regarding each of our families her parents didn't really accept me because they were much of a higher class  than me and my parents middle class   and my parents deal was the way my girlfriend
treated me at times (which at times yes it was totaly uncalled for)
Well to the point a month ago she decided she was going to go out of state to visit family for a couple of weeks.And that she would like it if i let our son go,so he could say hi to his cousins and all.I had asked her if it was going to be longer then a couple weeks .She said no  ,so I told her ya sure as long as he is back at the end of may.Her airplane ticket was for may30th .I get a call the 29th she isn't coming back she says.
So i talked to a lawyer ,asked a couple of questions like well isn't that kidnapping ,she broke the agreement and says she isn't comming back .If it was me ,i'ld be sitting behind bars right now.He said no its not kidnapping,theirs not much you can do because your not married.Well its been like 1 1/2 months,i've talked to my son the most 13 times.When i call him,if i get a hold of someone,he gets on the phone and says daddy i don't want to talk to you.I asked his mother what the hell let him know i didn't leave him you took him away from me.And I asked her if she even tells him his dady loves him ,like when she puts him to bed ,she said she doesn't have time too.......For all of you daddy's out  there i need some advice on what i can do as a dad while not being married.

[wendl]

We will need a little more info to help you.

1) was paternity ever established thru the courts
2) did you ever go to court to establish a parenting plan

If you have not done this, in order to get visitation or your chlid you will need to do it thru the courts.  

Since she has only been gone since May, I believe the jurisdiction(sp) would still be the home state the child resided for the last 4yrs.

If you have no court ordered child support that will also need to be determined.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[Peanutsdad]

Ok, you are behind the 8ball already. You absolutely HAVE to retain legal counsel immediately and file for paternity AND either custody or visitation BEFORE shes been out of state 6 months.


It sounds as if your ex is already using parental alienation tactics with your son.




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http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-vassiliou.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-gardner06.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-navarre.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-gardner01.htm

THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART I)
Parental Alienation Syndrome is a distinctive family response to divorce in which the child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other target parent.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand01.htm - size 40kb - 20 Oct 2003
12. Mediation And Parental Alienation Syndrome by Anita Vestal
This article looks at parental alienation syndrome (PAS), which is a complex manifestation of mental and emotional abuse resulting from conflicted parents fighting for custody.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-vestal.htm - size 52kb - 20 Oct 2003
13. Recommendations for Dealing with Parents Who Induce a Parental Alienation Syndrome in Their Children
PAS is commonly seen in highly contested child-custody disputes. The author has described three types: mild, moderate, and severe, each of which requires special approaches by both legal and mental health professionals.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-gardner02.htm - size 54kb - 20 Oct 2003
14. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART II)
Studies of target parents who are falsely accused of abuse report they tend to be less disturbed than their accusing counterparts.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand12.htm - size 53kb - 20 Oct 2003
15. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART II)
Parental Alienation Syndrome is a distinctive family response to divorce in which the child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other target parent.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand11.htm - size 44kb - 20 Oct 2003
16. Parental Alienation Information Archive
All the information on the SPARC site regarding Parental Alienation has been consolidated on this central reference page.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pasarchive.htm - size 17kb - 20 Oct 2003
17. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART II) (cont.)
In the following case, the accused father was an officer in the military. Testimony on PAS by the defense expert provided the judge and jury with some alternative explanations as to the reasons the children accused their stepfather of abuse.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand13.htm - size 31kb - 20 Oct 2003
18. THE SPECTRUM OF PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PART I)
Parental Alienation Syndrome is a distinctive family response to divorce in which the child becomes aligned with one parent and preoccupied with unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other target parent.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/rand02.htm - size 44kb - 20 Oct 2003
19. Expanding the Parameters of PAS
The newness of the parental alienation syndrome (PAS) compels its redefinition and refinement as new cases are observed and the phenomenon becomes better understood.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-cartwright.htm - size 32kb - 20 Oct 2003
20. PAS: How to Detect It and What to Do About It
Although parental alienation syndrome (PAS) is a familiar term, there is still a great deal of confusion and unclarity about its nature, dimensions, and, therefore, its detection.
URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pas-walsh2.htm - size 24kb - 20 Oct 2003




One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.