Violations of court order? Lesser of 2 evils

[daddyrabbit38]

I have recently received a letter from the CP bio mom's attorney which states in part;

Dear Dad;

Son will not be available for telephone contact on Thanksgiving day and make-up telephone contact will be Wednesday, December 3, 2003, at the usual time. Your next weekend visitation will be xxx at the usual place and time.

Christmas visitation will begin on Friday, December 19, 2003 at 7:00 p.m. at xxx with a return of the child on December 26 at 2:00 p.m. If you can not personally return xxxx on Friday, then the return will be on Christmas Day at the usual time. There will be no extended xmas visitation. Mom will have contact on xx, xx and xx during your visitation.

Regards, Attorney

,.... telephone contact is explicit as to days and times without exception and Xmas visitation is explicit in court order for "last day of school" not the end of the week after school lets out,

This is a Florida case.

Questions;

1.  telephone contact for me is specific, I have offered a different time but on the same day, turkey day, to keep my basic schedule the same with my son and be able to talk to him on a holiday, this is the 10th phone visistation violation in about 6 months, how much weight does this carry?

2.  Is a makeup phone call a week later reasonable? I felt that it should be the same day, just a different time, or even perhaps the very next day Friday, they have 4 cell phones, all family lives in the same city..or in another state so i dont think they are traveling, just trying to cut me out of the holiday

3.  I have notified them in writing, once in October, once in November about the specific xmas exchange time, they are now dictating a different date, so which is the better option to follow;

  a.  Write a 3rd letter reiterating strict adherence to court
       order (which I know means i will end up traveling two different
       nights because they will refuse to show up on the correct night,
       solely because its a weeknight and an inconvenience for them to
       drive)

  b.  Write a new letter stating i will accept their modified pick up date,
       however, due to their changes in pick up I opt to change the return
       date to saturday the 27th, a one day loss on the p/up and a one
       day gain on the return, kind of equaling things out (knowing that
       on the original return date mom will call the cops)


4.  If i opt for B above and mom shows up at normal return date, how much trouble can i be in if i have notified her in writing before hand?

5.  This kind of forced scheduling against the court order has happened numerous times and to date i have had no options except to swallow it, any suggestions?

Thanks.

[4honor]

If you are trying to get contempt on ex for not meeting the court order and you "renegotiate it" on her whim, you are shooting yourself in the foot. You can't have it both ways. Either the court order is an ORDER or it is a piece of paper without authority.

Treat it like it is in stone unless it is a verifiable emergency. Be ther when you are supposed to be and file contempt EVERY TIME she veres off course.

The judge will assume you are as bad as she if you can't keep the order either.:P

[MKx2]

I hope you have records of the phone visitation denials and any other visitation denials.  IT IS IMPERATIVE you do this!

EVERY SINGLE TIME she denies phone visitation, every single time she tries to negotiate the court order, EVERY SINGLE time she tries to deny YOUR time, file for contempt.  If you're not willing to do that, at the VERY least you MUST file documents with the court clerk that you have been denied.  It will show a pattern, and set precedence for you to take the idiot back to court - perhaps getting more visitation if you ask for it.  

Good luck and keep us all informed of what's going on.

[socrateaser]

If you have a situation where the other parent is always trying to change the rules, then the best move is to follow the order to the letter, and inform the other side that if they do not do similarly, that you will file for contempt.