I was trapped by a woman who lied, what can I do now?

[Dalliance]

Hello everyone,
  I am new to this site and am looking for some sort of guidance as I seem to find myself in quite the pickle. I had a short term relationship with a woman not too long ago. At first things were ok, then I found out what she was hiding from me. She didn't tell me about being married until after we had a few sexual encounters. She also told me that she was sterile. Well, as you can guess, she is now pregnant and swears up and down that it is mine. The interesting part is that she was having sex with 2 other partners at the time. Her husband, and another man. She has told me that she knows it is not her husbands child because she made him wear condoms when they had sex around the time of conception. She also says that she did not have sex with the 3rd man anywhere near the time of conception. She originally said she didn't want anything from me. Now she has talked to a lawyer and I am assuming is planning legal action against me. The child is due in June. I am single, 28, and have no children. I also have a federal job and live in California. I am scared to death and have no clue as to what to do. I feel like I have been lied to and trapped. Do I have any rights at all? Is there anything I can do now to protect myself. This woman wants to have the child and move 6 hours away to live with her mother and quit her job. I feel like she set all of this up so she could get some sucker to pay her way after she gets divorced. She is still married and to the best of my knowledge has not yet filed anything. Abortion and adoption are pretty much out of the question. What can I do?
Thanks for any information you can give me,
Terry

 

[MKx2]

I am new to this site and am looking for some sort of guidance as I seem to find myself in quite the pickle. I had a short term relationship with a woman not too long ago.

At first things were ok, then I found out what she was hiding from me. She didn't tell me about being married until after we had a few sexual encounters. She also told me that she was sterile.

She is now pregnant and swears up and down that it is mine. The interesting part is that she was having sex with 2 other partners at the time. Her husband, and another man.

She has told me that she knows it is not her husbands child because she made him wear condoms when they had sex around the time of conception. She also says that she did not have sex with the 3rd man anywhere near the time of conception.

She originally said she didn't want anything from me. Now she has talked to a lawyer and I am assuming is planning legal action against me. The child is due in June. I am single, 28, and have no children. I also have a federal job and live in California.

I am scared to death and have no clue as to what to do. I feel like I have been lied to and trapped.  This woman wants to have the child and move 6 hours away to live with her mother and quit her job.

I feel like she set all of this up so she could get some sucker to pay her way after she gets divorced. She is still married and to the best of my knowledge has not yet filed anything. Abortion and adoption are pretty much out of the question.

1.  Will the child of this preganancy be considered the child of her legal husband if there is no divorce prior to the birth?

2.  Should I request DNA testing at birth to determine paternity?

3.  Is there any merit to suggesting she lied to me about her situation, thus "trapping" me?

4.  Do I need an attorney, right now?

5.  What should I be doing at this point in time to protect myself?

6.  Do I have ANY rights at all?

Thanks in advance for any help you can give me.

Terry

[roddenbj]

Hi I am a single mother and I understand your concern,

First Hire a lawyer, ask for a manditory blood test after the child is born, or have DSS involved before the said child is born. This will safeguard your parental rights. Get DSS involved as much as possible, they can fight for you in court. This women sounds to me like she does want a free ride. But you put it in, you have to take care of what is yours, Sorry to be so harsh. Another thing is that you can make he not move out of a 50 mile radious from where she lives now. The lawyer can tell you that. If you want the child, have an in home study done to assure you in court. If she is planning on quiting her job then let her, it will only better your standings.

[socrateaser]

Until the child is born, there is no paternity/support case, although she could ask for contribution to her medical costs related to the birth.

And, until the child is born, you can't stop her from moving wherever she wishes, because you can only keep her from relocating the child, not herself.

So, basically, you're screwed all the way around, except that you're gonna be a daddy! Congrats.

When the kid is born, she will file for support and you will demand a paternity test, and if it's yours, then you will get to pay for 18 years of support.

Were you set up? Maybe. Is there any legal relief for you? None at all. Until the men of the USA get off their collective asses and force the legislatures to provide some equity in family law, you will be forever behind the 8-ball.

Personally, I would just get used to paying the check and move on with my life. You can fight for custody, but only if you are willing to move wherever she moves. Otherwise, you will be SOL.