pro se litigant in need of help

[Doodlebug]

Dear Socrateaser:

could you please help me with the following?

divorced mom with two children.  primary residence with dad shared parental liberal visitation as the parties may agree.  Dad stopped visits for 14 months with no reason being given.  

Mom trying to obtain legal assistance in the state of florida through legal aid, fla bar and low fee attorneys but these places do not handle such a case.  therefore having to go it alone and need some help.

1.  Motion was filed by mom for contempt of marital settlement agreement and case went to court.  Ex has lawyer and cross motion was filed requesting supervised visitation.  Original contempt motion was changed to enforcement of supervised visits with the cost to be shared.

2.  Court order to include telephone communication with the children as this was not allowed either.  

3.  While waiting for visits to commence, a motion was brought by respondent to modify or clarify order on supervised visitation to include my mother who is not allowed to see the children either and to assess all costs to me.  

Questions:

1.  Respondent is not allowing children to return phone calls and calls are placed on speakerphone where it turns into a free for all.  I would like to have a private conversation with children.  How to I go about doing this?

2.  My mother has done nothing to warrant her having to have supervised visits and has filed a separate motion for grandparents visitation.  Can she refuse when we go to court to have to go through the supervised program and will it hurt her other case?

3.  I believe that this is a classic case of parental alienation due to the fact that visits which were consistent before new gf showed up have been stopped as with all contact with the children.  How to I proceed with an alienation case?

4.  divorce decree states that either party in default of marital agreement shall pay others attorney fees.  How to I find a lawyer that will honor this section without having the funds to hire an attorney.  

It has been 14 months since i have seen my children.  I have tried every resource available and just do not have the funds to fight this man in court.  any help, advice or direction you could give would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you
Sincerely,
Lisa D

[socrateaser]

>Questions:
>
>1.  Respondent is not allowing children to return phone calls
>and calls are placed on speakerphone where it turns into a
>free for all.  I would like to have a private conversation
>with children.  How to I go about doing this?

Assuming that your custody order entitles you to private communications with the children, record the phone calls, along with your demand to the father for private communication, and if you don't receive it, file for contempt using the recording as evidence of his willful failure to comply. Make sure that you inform him that you are recording the conversation immediately at the beginning of the call and get that on tape, too.

>2.  My mother has done nothing to warrant her having to have
>supervised visits and has filed a separate motion for
>grandparents visitation.  Can she refuse when we go to court
>to have to go through the supervised program and will it hurt
>her other case?

She can refuse, but if the judge doesn't agree, then grandma loses. Pissing off the judge is the only thing that will hurt your case at this time.

>3.  I believe that this is a classic case of parental
>alienation due to the fact that visits which were consistent
>before new gf showed up have been stopped as with all contact
>with the children.  How to I proceed with an alienation case?

There is no such thing as an "alienation" case. If you can prove that the other parent is affirmatively acting against the children's best interests by poisoning them with negative impressions of you, then the court will consider that in making a new custody order. Such acts by a parent would be both contempt of the existing orders as well as a demonstration of a substantial change in circumstances, which is necessary to redetrmination of custody.

The hard part is proving it. Most of the time, unless the children are old enough to testify competently, or if a therapist can elicit statements from the children that they are routinely being led to believe that you are evil, etc., then you will not be able to demonstrate alienation sufficent to obtain a new custody hearing or a contempt citation.

>4.  divorce decree states that either party in default of
>marital agreement shall pay others attorney fees.  How to I
>find a lawyer that will honor this section without having the
>funds to hire an attorney.  

You can't. You will have to front the money, and then get it back at the end. There's no guarantee that you will win your case, so no lawyer will risk it.