Mod of Parenting Time & Transportation Order

[Blended]

History - Divorced 1996 w three kids share joint custodial responsibility,  Agreed to & wrote our own Stipulated Mod. RE kids location

We just received motion for mod of Parenting Time & Transportation Order.  BM is now stating the terms and conditions have become impartical and contrary to the best interests of the minor children.  She is now complaining about the:
1.  travel distance including road conditions  
2.  costs of traveling BM is requesting I pay half of all costs or meet half way.
3.  the restrictated ability of the minor children to be involved in extracurricular activities. Only one child is interest in these kind of activities - the others are not interested.    
4.  BM is asking the court to change parenting time to during school holdiays and vacations only.       ;(

Were do I begin? I have written documentation that proves that I had addressed these issues and more prior to her move. Both my wife and I work - BM does not.  BM drives a new four wheel drive extra oversized SUV while I drive a 1994 car. I have always been involved with my kids and have tried to be reasonable with BM.  But it still continues. Help!!!!!

[nosonew]

You don't state how far away from each other you live....

I personally feel both parents should help with the transportation of the kids, but that is just my opinion.  Although it will be difficult for you and your wife, due to working, it can be worked out.  OR you could have her drop off on Fridays and you could drop off on Sundays (works great if you aren't working weekends).  * Be sure to put in the papers that any adult with a valid drivers license that you designate to pick up or drop off the children is OK.  I would also stipulate that both parties (herself and you) have cell phones with you in case of emergencies so you can notify the other parent if there is a problem while traveling.  

Regarding travel time on the road...unless it is an Ungodly distance...that shouldn't matter.

Road conditions can be checked on line or via phone...if your Highway Patrol is stating that people Should NOT drive due to road conditions, then don't, meet the next morning or earlier, or whatever works.  

Depending on the age of the kids, and their activities, she has a point with extracurricular activities...you should make sure the kids are allowed these things, with MAKE UP time to you if any visits are missed.  Be sure to request a time frame, like "make up time within the next month that is equal to the time missed".  

HOw long has it been since she moved?  

Hope this helps..

[Blended]

BM moved over ten hours away (round trip).  Since the most of the travel is through the mountains, cellular service is not dependable.  As far as travel for myself, I work ten hour days and would not be able to p/u the kids until around midnight.  I feel that it is BM and my responsibility - my wife has serious health issues that would not allow her to participate.

Of course, we (previously) agreed that if road conditions per DOT would cause a safety issues to/for the kids the time would be rescheduled .  I do not want my kids put in unnecessary harm no matter what.

The difficult with extracurricular activities is that BM feels that this time should not be made up because it is due to the kids schedule not hers.  I have been reasonable about scheduling until it was being abused.  Activities were even scheduled during my vacation time which BM & I had agreed to six months earlier.  It make it difficult to plan family fun time with the kids because we never know what/when is happening.  

It has not been a year yet.

Thanks.  

[Bolivar OH]

My legal knowledge is very limited.  However it looks like you have a tough fight ahead.  You must become very educated on what your area requires to "Modify Visitation".  She will continue to come for more money.  The harder you make it the more she will give going back to court a second thought.  This is a common situation you are entering and the courts usually will side with mommy.  So BE PREPARED!

 1.travel distance including road conditions
 ++She choose to move and up root the children not you.  You agreed on how to handle the transportation issue.  Nothing has changed, except she is going back on her word.

 2. costs of traveling BM is requesting I pay half of all costs or meet half way.
++Same as above.

 3. the restrictated ability of the minor children to be involved in extracurricular activities. Only one child is interest in these kind of activities - the others are not interested.
++Courts look at "best interest of children".  This is a rough one.  Better do some research.  If you're paying your CS then the children's activities should come out of the CS payment you make.

 4. BM is asking the court to change parenting time to during school holdiays and vacations only.
++She must prove "best interest of children"  this is a rough one for her to prove.

She must in clear and simple terms explain to the court why the change is necessary and in the "best interest of your children". "  People always ask for more than they expect to get.  Get a lawyer and he/she should be able to tell you which ones are for real and how to fight this.

Check out this sites "FAQ Center"

Good luck, and please keep us posted on your progress.

[Blended]

Update - after meeting with several attorneys and reading all laws ourselves this is the situation:

1.  Regarding travel distance including road conditions  ++  Thanks, you were on track; it was her second time uprooting the children - the first time we had no notice at all prior to her move.  Our agreement listed no timeframes so it was implied as indefinite.  Since the travel has been done for a considerable length of time BM would have to prove a substantial change in circumstances, which has not happened.

2.  Costs of traveling BM is requesting I pay half of all costs or meet half way ++  Again BM would have to prove a substantial change in circumstances - are income increased 10% or more or BM decreased 10% or more.  Again the agreement implies an indefinte obligation by BM.

3.  Restrictated ability of the minor children to be involved in extracurricular activities. Only one child is interest in these kind of activities - the others are not interested.  ++  Since BM is bringing the action the court looks for her to prove it is in the "Best interest of the Children".  BM stated only that it "may" interfer with extracurricular activites.  None of the children are currently involved in or have been since last summer.  BM is is only quessing that there would issues. We have make it clear to the court that we are/have been supportive of the children in their interests (past/future shown by documentation including a calendar showing all the scheduled parenting time with all adjustments) and are willing to reschedule any parenting time in a timely manner to handle the issues.  We have also supplied the court with documentation from BM were she stated the she does not feel she needs to reschedule any parenting time that was lost due to the kids schedule not hers.  

The court looks 14-10-124 to determine the"Best Interest of the Children".  It has very specific requirements that must be determined.

The court had previously ruled on the costs of these kind of activities (the same judge it will be before again).

4.  BM is asking the court to change parenting time to during school holdiays and vacations only.  ++  The court looks at 14-10-129 and 14-10-129.5 for modification of parenting time and disputes concerning parenting time.  In our case, BM would have to prove a substantial change in circumstances, non compliance or violation of the order, prove that the parenting time would endanger the child's physical health or significantly impair the child's emotional development, prove that there has not been a previous order regarding parenting time within the last two years, or that I have been convicted of a any crimes listed that would constitutes a potential threat or endangerment.

Since it has not even been a year since the last agreement on parenting time and BM cannot prove a substantial change the attorney feels that the court will deny the motion due to inadequate allegation.  However, we are prepared for anything.

Again if anyone has any additional ideas, we are open.  Thanks.