Really need help bad.

[HelplessnVa1]

Hi, I live in Virginia, my custody case will be in Virginia too. This could be a long topic so I will try to make it as brief as I can.

In September of 2002 I got a letter from Child Enforcement stating that I have a daughter, who at the time was 5. In October I took a DNA test which proved positive 99.9%. So, on November the 13th 2002 I met my daughter for the first time. Since then there have been nothing but problems from her mother.

That day me an my daughters mom agreed on visitation. She said that I could get her every weekend, well I know that I never got it in writing so that was my mistake. Right off it was every other weekend. Anyway, my daughter took to me really fast, calling me daddy right off and saying she loved me.

My daughter never wanted to go home when she came to visit me, I would practically have to drag her out of the house. The worst time was when I took her home and as I was about to leave she grabbed my legs and begged me not to leave, crying and screaming. I live almost 2 hours away from her, it was a horrible trip home that day. After that things changed.

The next time I went to get her was Christmas day, her mom was invited to come up at my parents request. My daughter acted funny, like she was ignoring me. I took them back home after a few hours. Me an her mom agreed to me getting my daughter a couple days later for about 4 days, well when I got there to pick her up she started crying and screaming to stay with her mom, she put her in my vehicle and I just drove off with her screaming, a mile down the road she quieted down an started singing an playing.

The next time I went to get her she did the same thing again, but that time her mom told her she didn't have to go with me and let her stay at home. For the next few weeks I had to go to her place an visit with her for a few hours a night. Then she started coming with me again. I thought that it was just the shock that settled in about me that made her act that way.

Well, the next few months things were off an on like that. I would call and find out what time to go get her and her mom would tell me if she wanted to come or not. One time she had my daughter get on the phone to tell me she didn't want to come, when she got on she said her nanna said she didn't have to come with me, her nanna being her grandmother.

Now I know for a fact that her nanna turned my daughters mom against her own dad when she was growing up, she doesn't even speak to him now. I feel that my daughters mom and her mom are turning my daughter against me now. Not only that, my daughters mom has a new boyfriend since July of 2003, when I have my daughter with me she kisses an hugs me all the time, but when I take her home she don't even want to hug me bye, but when she leaves she hugs an kisses her moms boyfriend an says she loves him.

I feel as if they have succeeded in starting to turn her, like she is doing stuff like that to hurt me. I try to talk to her about it an she just ignores me an tries to change the subject. All of this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Now let me explain the medical side of this case. I found out that when my daughter was born she had really bad ear infections, to were she could not hear or speak. Her mom took her to a doctor and he told her he could not do anything for my daughter. My daughters mom waited 4 1/2 years to get a 2nd opinion, then that doctor put tubes in her ears right before her 5th birthday.

My daughter now speaks like someone who is deaf, with a slur. December 2002 my daughter caught pnuemonia, I almost lost her right after meeting her cause her mom was dressing her in thin clothes. Then in March 2003 she caught the flu and I bout lost her again. In May 2003 she had a tube removed from her right ear, her mom never called to tell me about this operation, I found out 4 days later when I called to find out when to pick her up.

In August 2003 I picked my daughter up so she could spend a week with me. 4 days later she started screaming and crying that her ear was hurting really bad, I was at my sisters house close to her moms when this happened, she said she wanted to go home to her mom so I took her an she took her to the hospital. Later I found out she had a blister on her ear drum an then I found out that earlier that summer she had had a ruptured ear drum, which her mom never bothered to tell me about.

In November 2003 I talked with her mom on the phone, I asked her if she had gotten my daughter a flu shot. Her responce was, and I qoute "Why? She's not sick, she doesn't have the flu!", and she said it like I was an ass for asking, sorry for the french. Anyone, accept for her I guess, knows that you get a flu shot before you get sick, otherwise its no good.

Now for the way she is handling my daughter. In December 2002 I took my daughter home, the same day she screamed an grabbed my legs begging me not to leave, well me and my daughter was told to go in the other room to play an stuff before I had to go, so we did. Her mom shut the door, she had some friends in there with her, well my daughter went an opened the door a few minutes later and smoked rolled right into the room we was in, it was pot. Her mom smoked it an then as I left she left to, drove off with my daughter while she was stoned.

Since then she has made it apparent that she has to smoke it before going over to her moms house because of the way her mom is. Then in March 2003 her friend needed a place to stay for a few weeks, she in turn brought her boyfriend who was an excon, they all slept in the same bed with my daughter an her mom. In December 2002 I bought my daughter a calling card so she could call me whenever she wanted, her mom only let her call once and that was after I begged her many times to let her call me.

Since then my daughter hasn't called me cause her mom won't let her. Then when I tell her I am gonna call to talk to my daughter she is never there or my daughter is always gone with her nanna. Her boyfriend that is living with her now is an excon from Ohio. She is now working nights and she leaves my daughter home alone with him so he is the one that puts her to bed at night, and god knows what else he is doing.

I have much more information that I have learned since November 2002, but I feel I have said enough about what is going on. I am going to court for custody of my daughter next month, June 1st. I am disabled from the military and filing for ssi and veterans compensation. I have no money for a lawyer, and I went to legal aid for help. Legal aid told me in January 2003 that I should wait atleast a year an get to know my daughter an write down everything her mom does in a journal.

They also said that if an when she gets a lawyer then they would supply me with one. She went to legal aid to get a lawyer herself and they turned her down for conflict of interests because I have already talked to them about this, but they sent her to the Bar Association an they gave her a lawyer. Now legal aid says that they can't help me.

After you read all of this can you just give me any kind of help as to what to do now since I only have 2 weeks before court, what can I do to ensure I gain custody?

Can I sue her for emotional damages for not telling me about my daughter?

I have called social services every week for the past year to get them to look in on her, when they finally did they called her first, now you tell me, if you had pot an stuff would you leave stuff laying around knowing someone was coming?

Is there anything I can do about that?

I am so sorry that this was so long, please forgive me but I have little time left for short notes. If you have any ideas or anything that can help me please let me know.

Thank for your paitence,
James

[socrateaser]

>After you read all of this can you just give me any kind of
>help as to what to do now since I only have 2 weeks before
>court, what can I do to ensure I gain custody?


Has the court ever made a custody order in the past, either temporary or permanent?

What exactly does your custody petition allege as reasons why the court should grant you primary custody?



>
>Can I sue her for emotional damages for not telling me about
>my daughter?

To sue for infliction of emotional distress, you must show that the other person engaged in outrageous behavior and that it caused you extreme emotional injury. Your facts don't state that you required any substantial psychological therapy because of your distress, therefore you cannot make a case for this cause of action.

>
>I have called social services every week for the past year to
>get them to look in on her, when they finally did they called
>her first, now you tell me, if you had pot an stuff would you
>leave stuff laying around knowing someone was coming?

If you believe that the mother is engaged in illegal drug activities, call the sheriff/police, not child protective services.

As to the issue of your child having medical problems, I would ask the court to order the child evaluated by a healthcare professional. You may be able to show that the mother's failure to seek appropriate medical care is the direct cause of the child's injuries. If so, that would be a strong argument for a change in custody. Other than this, from your facts, I don't think you have much of a case, unless the mother is convicted of dealing drugs, or proven to be a serious addict.

FYI, in the future, if you don't number your questions, I won't respond. Thanks for your cooperation.