What is appropriate?

[dipper]

Dear Soc,

My fiance has been divorced, joint custody of youngest child for three years.  The oldest has been living with him and only had visitations with mother - he is now 18.  The mother planned on moving 100 miles away against fiance and youngest son's wishes.

She had sent fiance a letter stating she would move on June 14.  He filed for custody - trial set for June 1- her lawyer pushed it back to June 29.  She phoned a couple of weeks ago to request that my fiance to switch a couple of days that they normally had the child.  She was to return him on June 12.  She also informed my fiance that she would not be moving until June 19.  Once she had the child back with her last week, she refused to return him....she moved on June 12 with the child.

We are in Virginia.  Fiance has been trying for weeks to get in to see a lawyer, but the one that could see him quickly could not take his case because his ex had spoken with her before.

His ex has asked atleast one person close to my fiance to go to court to say that he is on drugs and a bad father.  Total lies!  The person refused, but I am worried that she may get some of her pals to do so.  When they first split up - she charged him with abuse and had him arrested.  He never laid a finger on her - his sons swear to that - but somehow from the time she left home and got to the police dept. she had a small bruise under her eye.  She dropped it once she heard her sons wouldnt go along with her lie, but too late then it was already in the police hands.

We have drafted a letter to her lawyer stating the deception that was involved in sneaking the son away and this is in violation of their joint custody agreement.  We also put the days he will pick his son up and that she can pick the son up from him on certain days.  

My daughter's miss the child terribly as they are close and have been for years - before we started dating.  They want to write letters to the judge telling him so.

His oldest son wants to go to court to confront his mother's lies and he believes his brother is better off here.

Questions:

Is it appropriate to mention her deceipt and outright attempts to have people lie in court in his letter to the lawyer?


We figure putting his request for his continued joint custody until the trial in writing and through her lawyer was best - are we right?


Would my children writing have any impact?  We are to marry on July 3rd and they have been very close for over 2 years.


Does the oldest child need to be subpoenaed?  I have been in court where the other lawyer asked my brother to leave - so I am afraid if he isnt  issued a summons, they may boot him out so that he cant speak.



Will the younger child's letter to the judge stating his wish to remain here be sufficient or does he need to be there?



I know I have asked alot.  If it were just a matter of them going to the judge with the child's best interest at heart, I wouldnt worry.  But, I dont know if my fiance will have a lawyer.  He shouldnt need one if the facts speak for themself and there isnt much money for one.

Thank you!!!!

[socrateaser]

Please post the EXACT text of your existing permanent and temporary custody orders, if any.

I can't answer your questions -- not nearly enough facts.