good or bad sign?

[StepmomInSC]

Dear Sir,

I am in a modification of custody battle with ex wife.  I am in SC and ex is in Maine.  We have had a GAL through family court since last August.  In this time we have had all home interviews meetings etc with GAL.  


1. Our lawyer was allowed to pick the GAL.  Good or bad?

2. Exwife has never talked to GAL.  Has never even tried to call GAL til two weeks ago because she didnt like what GAL decided we needed to do for summer visitation. Good or bad?

3.  GAL has never spoken with Ex.  We know GAL has tried to call her.  We have been present at least 3 times in the last few months when she has called her.  GAL called her from our home once.  Ex has never returned phone calls to GAL.  Good or bad?

4.  We know ex called GAL two weeks ago and left a message to please call her so that they could discuss the summer visitation.  This was after GAL had sent letters to both of us about the decision. GAL has never called her back.  We have talked to GAL and know that GAL has talked to our lawyer.  Is this a good sign for us that GAL doesnt seem to have anything to talk about with Ex?

Thanks for your help and opinions.

[socrateaser]

Your questions are leading, i.e., you appear to be seeking validation for your existing opinions, rather than objective advice. If you want objective advice about your case, you need to state the facts upon which this motion for a custody mod is based, and not just state facts about what the other parent has done to alienate the GAL.

Also, do not intersperse facts with questions. State all of your facts, and then ask questions about them.

[StepmomInSC]

Im truly sorry sir you are right.  i guess somewhat I am seeking validation.  I know the system is almost always against men so Im just curious if other people would feel the same way.

the facts are this


Daughter is 5 yrs old with epilepsy and suspected learning disibilities.
Mother still has custody because judge last august wanted a GAL appointed because meither my ex or I had enough proof to prove that daughter was medically in danger or not.  He therefore didnt want to move her yet because if she couldnt travel he didnt want it on his head if something happened to her. I understood why and agreed to the GAL

The reasons we are seeking the modification of custody for my daughter are

A.  Mother has moved 8 times in last three years between 3 different states.  She has had numerous boyfriends and lived with all of them at some point. She has had so many jobs I have lost count.

B.  Even though daughter was in therapy since age 3 to prepare her for school she still failed kindergarten at age 5 1/2.  She has been failing all year and mother has done nothing to get second opinions or try and get her more help.  She insists on taking her to the people who havent really helped her because it is free even though we have insurance that would allow her to take her to anyone and still not cost her anything.

C. Mother claims daughter is seriously ill and has her at doctor every other day for last year.  Doctors have finally quit seeing her because they say there is nothing wrong that everything is under control.  She takes her to the ER now for everything because pediatrician refuses to see her.

D.  I am in SC and mother is in Maine so its almost impossible for me to do much to help her from here.  Mother took her back to Maine to be with Mother's family.

E. Daughter and mother have no relationship with my son whom ive had custody of since Aug.  She has totally alienated him and I from my daughter and his sister and she has totally alienated son from herself.

F. Mother as denied me visitation of daughter for last two years.  I have seen her a total of 6 days.  5 days in Feb 2003 and one day last summer when I came to get my son from her.

G.  Mother does not keep me informed of daughter's treatment.  I have to get everything myself and it isnt easy.  No one wants to tell me anything.  She is under a court order to give me copies of everything and hasnt.  

H.  I have had the same job and lived in the same home ( which i own) for three years.  I have had son for a year now.  He was sick all the time and failing school when she had him.  He has not been sick once and was the #1 kid in his school and in all of 5th grade academically this year.  My wife and I have two other children 4 and 2 who are perfectly healthy and happy and get along great with son.  GAL has witnessed this on several occasions.




1. )So with all these reasons in mind and regardless of what has or hasnt happened with the GAL do you think we stand a chance in court next month for getting custody of my daughter.?


thank you
Jim

[socrateaser]

All of the items you list could weigh in your favor. So, I wonder if there are any factors that weigh against you. There is ALWAYS two sides to the story, and if everything was favorable for you, you probably wouldn't be asking me for a 2nd opinion.

So, spill it. What would your opponent say about your relationship with the child?

[StepmomInSC]

all that ex is saying to use against us are the following

1) she says that I dont know my daughter because I left my ex when daughter was 16 months old.

2) I never talk to my daughter there fore i do not know how she really is medically.

These are really her only arguments against me.

My response to her two arguments are this

1.  I had daughter every other weekend and several days during the week even after I left my ex up until my daughter was 29 months old.
I had very little contact with her after that because my ex ran off to KY with a boyfriend for several months and then moved back to Maine to her parents and left me in SC.  Ex and daughter have been in Maine for 2 yrs and she has denied me all visitation.

2)  I have phone records proving that I have called the home at least 3 nights a week for the last two years.  Mother does not allow me to talk to daughter for more than 5 minutes at a time.  As far as not knowing medically.  I do know medically .  I have documents from all of her doctors and therapists.  Ex is not aware that I have all these.

[socrateaser]

Well, if that's all there is, then I'd say you have a pretty strong case. It's still at the judge's discretion, though -- the court could just state that there's no specific law preventing the custodial parent from moving the child.

Your strongest hand may actually be that the mother continues to frustrate your access to the child. Judges don't like this at all.

[StepmomInSC]

thank you
deep down I  feel positive we have a good case. I guess its just the voice in the back of my head telling me not to get my hopes up too high. I am the father and not the mother and know that its usually very hard for the father to get custody.  Especially of a daughter who is so young.