Filing a Parenting Plan

[Tchmymnd]

I have a 9 yr old daughter with my ex. We were never married.  The relationship between dd and my ex has been very inconsistent over the years.  I am in the process of filling the forms out for a parenting plan.  We are in Oregon, filing in Oregon.

Because of the inconsistency dd is not very comfortable with my ex. DD has Anxiety Disorder and this is a big problem for her at night.  I am hoping to request 6 months of consistency with following the parenting plan before there are overnights.

Also my ex's work schedule is inconsistent.  He told me that it's common for him to not have his schedule a week in advance for each week.

Lastly when my ex does choose to see dd on holidays we always split the day up, so he has her half the day and I have her the other half. (Not including overnight).

My questions are...

1. How should I put into words my request for six months of consistentcy in following the Parenting plan before overnights occur. And

2. How do I address his work schedule when scheduling parenting time?

3. How should I put into words my request for all Holidays to be shared half and half, alternating halves every other year?

Thank you!
Becky

[socrateaser]

>1. How should I put into words my request for six months of
>consistentcy in following the Parenting plan before overnights
>occur.

You should write a parenting plan that assumes no overnights, as Parenting Plan #1, and then a second plan that assumes overnights, as Parenting Plan #2, and the tie them together as follows:

(the following assumes that other parent is respondent; be sure to change desigination to petitioner, if my assumption is incorrect)

The parties agree and the court hereby orders that the Parenting Plan #1 shall be in effect until ??/??/?? (6 months), after which time, Parenting Plan #1 shall terminate, and Parenting Plan #2 shall be in force. Petitioner may move for an extention of the Parenting Plan #1 terminating date at any time prior to said terminating date, on grounds that Respondent is not consistently following the conditions of Parenting Plan #1.

>
>2. How do I address his work schedule when scheduling
>parenting time?

I suggest that you ask him to suggest a solution, rather than attempting to force one on him. Put the ball in his court and let's see how he responds.

>
>3. How should I put into words my request for all Holidays to
>be shared half and half, alternating halves every other year?

I think that it is an extremely bad idea to split holiday days in half. You should alternate holidays based on even and odd numbered years. The only holiday where it makes any sense to break it up, in my opinion, is Christmas/New Years, where I would give one person the child for Christmas and the week before, and the other New Years, and the week before, alternating odd/even years.

[Tchmymnd]

"I suggest that you ask him to suggest a solution, rather than attempting to force one on him. Put the ball in his court and let's see how he responds."

I have went to him, and asked him what would work best for him.  He doesnt seem to have an answer.  He just tells me that his days off are different every week, and then often he doesnt even have a weeks notice of his weekly schedule.

"I think that it is an extremely bad idea to split holiday days in half. "

May I ask why it is a bad idea in your opinion?  I been trying to decide if this really would work in the future.  It's just always how it's been the times that he has seen her on holidays.

Thank you for your response, I appreciate the help.
Becky

[socrateaser]

1. A court order is useless unless it deals with certainties. You need to write out an order that specifies when the father will have visitation/custody, and then it's up to him to adjust his schedule if he wants to see the child.

You can write something that states, "Father may be allowed additional visitation as agreed upon from time to time in writing by the parties," but, my experience is that any time there is an uncertainty in a court order, it eventually leads to an argument between the parents, and everyone ends up back in court waiting for the judge to decide.

Similarly, with splitting holiday days in half, one of you will eventually find that half a holiday will not be enough, and the inconvienience will lead to an argument and what will follow is a court battle.

It's up to you.

[Tchmymnd]

Thank you!