Day Camp with a slumber party tonight that I was banned from

[rebecca]

Dear Socrateaser:
My son was enrolled in a daycamp by his father for 2 weeks.  I was notified of his enrollment after the fact.  Tonight there is a slumber party for the kids and parents will be there.  I also wanted to attend because my son is 6, and I was not comfortable leaving him there overnight.  

The father has a girlfriend whose daughter also is attending the camp and the slumber party.  The father said that I am not allowed to attend because I am a danger to his girlfriend's daughter (not true and completely unsubstantiated).  The father later changed his mind stating that he would go also to protect the daughter from me.  

Then he told me that the cost of the camp was $450, and that I was to pay him $225 tonight or I am not allowed to go.  I said that I don't have $225 and that I won't pay him because I had no say in the decision to enroll him, and because the Father had to chaparone this overnight event.

I told the father that I was going to go anyway because we both already told Son he could go, son was very excited, and because there is nothing keeping me from going.  

The father called the camp, I don't know what he told them, but the owner called me and told me that I should just come to the camp at 9p and pick up son.  That way there wouldn't be any trouble and he could still participate.   My son is going to hate me for not allowing him to fully participate.   This is what the father was hoping for.

We have joint physical/legal custody in California.  There is no primary designation for either of us.   We have a court date in August because dad did not agree with the mediation report recommendation.   The mediation report recommendation was related to Son changing schools.

I would like to know if there is anything that I can tell the judge to disallow the father from preventing me from attending any future events during my parenting time.   I don't want it to be alright for this to happen again.

Thank you for any advice or comments.

[socrateaser]

Value/moral judgments are for you to make, so I won't comment in that realm. The legal aspect is simple, however. If you wish to prevent this from happening again in the future, then I STRONGLY suggest that you agree to a parenting plan with your ex, so that each of you has primary responsibility/authority for the child at specific dates and times.

Then have the judge order it, and this kind of trouble will cease.