Simply put.... My wife of 12 1/2 years set me up for failure.

[So Hurt]

She never worked and I financially and physically raised my two step-children from the ages of 3 and 5 until they were 16 and 18.  We also had a son together who was 5 when we separated in 2/03.  I took care of the family as she went to and graduated law school, but would not get a job to help the family out when the economy went bad.  She started collecting state and federal money for her son and our son because they are autistic, but declined to tell me about her collecting money.
 
1) She had set herself up as the sole provider for the children while we were married.  She has blocked me from joint physical custody (she was better prepared at the 5/03 FCS appointment then I)  She brought up that we should go to see a co-parenting therapist who deals with autism so they can make a recommondation to the court to see if there should be any change in custody of my son.  the court put that into the recommondation as item 13. The custody plan that we set up on March 21, 2003 is the same as it is today, I have my son on Mondays and Wednesdays from 4 PM until 7:30 PM, Fridays from 3:15 PM until 8 PM, and on Sundays from 11 AM until 7 PM.  What this does, in the court's and social services' eyes, is that she has my son for 85% of the time and I just have visitation so she is getting the full amounts from SSI and IHSS as if I had nothing to do with the raising of my son.  And my career has suffered tremendously because of my internal
conflict of what she did to me.

2)  During the 12 1/2 marriage I made $400,000 and spent all of my
income (and inheiratence) on the family so that my ex-wife could have the benefit of a supportinve spouse while she spent 4 1/2 years in law school and received her JD degree.  I have had a hearing with IHSS and a meeting with SSI to come to the same conclusion:  Since She is the sole provider listed for the children, I have no ability to get any information or money from them.  I bath, feed, give oral hygene to, put in and out of a car, and take care of providing a learning enviroment for my son, but that is exactly what she gets paid for as if I didn't do it on 4 days a week.  My attorneys tell me that it isn't a lot of money and I am only paying $213 per month in child support, so don't worry about it.  As I see it, I am giving her respite on four days a week so that she can collect money as if she had him full time as she is using the two boys as pawns to be self supporting.  She also has not disclosed to the court the full amounts that she has received.

3)  Why won't the court listen to an honest account of my generousity toward a family and let her get away with everything that she has conceiled?

4) I have been told that I shouldn't do all the things that I do for my son since she is paid for that purpose.  If I don't do it, it will not get done.

Can you be of any assistance?

[socrateaser]

>3)  Why won't the court listen to an honest account of my
>generousity toward a family and let her get away with
>everything that she has conceiled?

Because your attorney sucks? I dunno, but I do know that there are always two sides to every story.

Your story is nice, but it serves no useful legal purpose. There are rules, and the court simply follows them. You must prove that you are the  the parent who does the majority of the day to day care, and that the child's emotionally bonded to you to a greater degree than to his mother. If you prove your case, then you win. Otherwise, you lose.

Now you must ask yourself why you are losing and then act on that knowledge, or, give up fighting and move on with your life.