court in 3 weeks

[momtoboth]

For a friend of mine
State Nc
Divorce 2001
Bf custodial parent
nearly equal time w/ Bf having 4 more days each month
Both parties remarried

BF and stepmother taking Bm to court to only allow her eow visits. Reasons stated were that she moved "substantially" far away from her old residence (actually only 2.1 miles according to mapquest), and other silly things.

Bm is very financially responsible, pays for the childs medical insurance, appts and has her in counseling.
Bf and stepmother are very financially irresponsible. Stepmother doesn't have her oldest daughter and owes $9k in back support, changes jobs frequently (fired), Bm has pictures of Bf and stepmothers nasty house, etc.

Bm's name is still on the house and truck that the Bf posesses and has obtained records where he and his current spouse pay the house and truck pmt months late. Almost to the point of repossessions on many occassions over the past few years. Bm has had to sign that she'll allow extensions on these loans so that he didn't lose his truck/house.

Bm has a tape recording that has the stepmother speaking to someone and says "******(the child) is MY DAUGHTER! SHE"S MY DAUGHTER AND SHE CALLS ME MOMMY!!!!" The stepmother has always tried to take over in place of the Bm and introduces herself to others as the childs mother, although the Bm is very involved. The stepmother doesn't have all of her marbles and actually called the Bm yesterday to say that she has been telling other parents at the school that the Bm has "a previous criminal record.." and that "she just felt obligated to let the other parents know" and that "she felt much better now that she had a clear conscience".

#1. Can she present this financial evidence to show that he is irresponsible and this behavior is not in the best interest of their daughter?

#2 If she presents legal documents to show that the stepmother owes that much in back support, is this relevant?

#3 can the tape be used to prove that the stepmother is trying to tkae over with regard to this child?

#4 the stepmother is a volunteer at the school. Should the Bm consult the principal about this issue with the stepmother being a rep. for the school of sorts and spreading nasty rumors? The Bm noticed that her daughters friends  parents no longer rt her calls for the kids to play together and they only associate with the SM now.

[socrateaser]

>#1. Can she present this financial evidence to show that he is
>irresponsible and this behavior is not in the best interest of
>their daughter?

Sure, but if the other party objects to the evidence is immaterial and irrelevant to the question of custody, the court will probably disallow the evidence, because, on your facts, it's not relevant to the moveaway issue.

>
>#2 If she presents legal documents to show that the stepmother
>owes that much in back support, is this relevant?

Not, in my opinion.


>
>#3 can the tape be used to prove that the stepmother is trying
>to tkae over with regard to this child?

NC is a one-party state, so it's not a crime to record your conversation without the other parties' knowledge. However, I don't know about the admissibility of the evidence in a civil matter, and there may be some restrictions in your court orders about privacy of communications. So, on balance, my answer is, "I don't know."

>
>#4 the stepmother is a volunteer at the school. Should the Bm
>consult the principal about this issue with the stepmother
>being a rep. for the school of sorts and spreading nasty
>rumors? The Bm noticed that her daughters friends  parents no
>longer rt her calls for the kids to play together and they
>only associate with the SM now.

You are trying to "get back" at the other parent by raising all sorts of collateral issues. You will have greater success with all of this, if you stick to the issue at hand, which is raising and loving your child, and not allowing your anger, or other's, to divert you from your goal.

2.1 miles is not very far. I'd say that there is no showing of a substantial change in circumstances affecting the child's best interests, and that the other party's motion for modification should be denied.

[momtoboth]

Thanks, this is actually not for me, but about a friends case.

She is actually very involved with her child and the child isn't aware of any of what is going on. But this stepmom is nuts. SHe is clearly trying to take over the role as mom evan though the bm is very involved. SHe is trying to allienate all other parents from the Bm, so that it appears that she is not involved, etc.

I read too often about his on this site. Although all of the recording stuff and financial stuff and rumors are irrelevant to the current case, she is scared that at some point this psycho will get her claws into the child. All the Bm wants is for all to have equal access to raise the child without this crap.

I also forgot to mention that the stepmom got mad at the Bf, tried to set his 4 wheeler on fire and then attacked him, causing bloody claw marks all over him. There are witnesses(3) that wil testify that he came straight to their house after this and had to be doctored and told what happened stating that his wife was crazy.

#1 is it not relevant at somepoint to try and prove that they are just trying to keep her daughter from her to allow the stepmom to take over?

#2 although the violence isn't the issue either, isn't this relevant at some point also?

[socrateaser]

>#1 is it not relevant at somepoint to try and prove that they
>are just trying to keep her daughter from her to allow the
>stepmom to take over?

Yes, but you stated that the motion was about the mother moving 2 miles. That's trivial, by itself, so the court will probably throw it out. And, the evidence as to why the issue is being raised, i.e., alleged stepmom emotional abuse, is presently irrelevant, and impossible to prove, even if it were relevant.

>
>#2 although the violence isn't the issue either, isn't this
>relevant at some point also?

What violence? If you have proof of violent physical abuse, then call the police.