New Dad wanting his son but mother is not forthcoming

[JSmith78]

IM in need of advice or help.  My situtation is this. I meet this women about two years ago. I started to fall in love with her.I wanted to marry her and be with her forever. (I admit, Im a naive fool. Im a romantic) In January of 03 she came to me and said she wanted to have a baby. That sent me though the roof! I was so happy. I was ready for it. I saw that as an opportunity to ask her to marry me. So I did. She turned me down. but I could lve with that for the time being. SHe gave me her reasons and I was ok with that. Well a month went by and she asked me to get her a pregnancy test in february. The test showed she was pregnant. I was overjoyed. I went out and begin buying things for her and the baby. But one month later. She left me. She left me and told me never to talk to her and to leave her alone. She wanted nothing to do with me and said the baby was not mine. I was devastated. I did as she asked. I left her alone. But then In December of 03 she emailed me asking for money. Thats when she told me he was really mine and when he was born and what his name was. But After what she did to me I had to be sure. So I went to our local domestic relations office and filed for paternity.  HE was 100% mine. When I found out I told her I want to help and BE APART OF HIS life.  That he was my son and him and I needed each other. When I tried to work something out with her for visitation she came back with the response of "we are doing just fine without you, we dont need you in our lives and I can't stand you so dont bother." and then she dropped of the face of the earth. It hurts me so much. (I also admit, im a pushover.) Now two months later she files for support. After telling me she didnt need my help and for me to stay away.  I want to be apart of my sons life and yes I admit Im slow at this fighting back because I never did this custody thing before and I dont know what to do and when we were in the courtroom for the issuance of paternity the judge there cut me down as a dead beat dad. Im not but I want to do things the right way for my son. I need advice

[Brent]

Some of these pages will apply more than others, but they all have valuable information:

Protecting Yourself During Divorce
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/protect.htm

Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm


One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Definitely get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is better.

[wendl]

Welcome to the Family Court System.

Did the judge order visitation at the time of paternity???  If not you need to file a petition thru the courts for visitation (and don't let them say if mom is breastfeeding you can't have overnight, as she can use a pump and freezer her milk.

Most states have the court forms of visitation on their websites, if not go down to the courthouse and get them, not sure how much the packet is, each state is different.

Keep trying to see you child and document when and when you weren't allowed to see your son.

Take some parenting classes (keep the certificate you get) take infant and child CPR too

If you can afford an attorney I would suggest getting one, make sure they are family law board certified and interview a few attorneys prior to hiring one

Your son deserves BOTH parents in his life.

:)
**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**