TRO continued again...

[Sunshine1]

Ok, I am the BM of 2 and a SM of 2, CP's of all of them.

Last week I went to court for a TRO that I filed on Stepmom for serious threats of killing me and our children and herself. She was taken into custody prior to the TRO that I filed for trying to kill herself and BioFather had put a OFP on her as well.

He later dropped it after 7 whole days of being on the psch floor, she was suddenly cured. Found out SM is diagnosed bi-polar and goes off her meds quite often, and this is a regular thing for her to do. First time threatening me but not the first time of interference with BF's time. We have all only known her for little under a year. She admitted she concealed her illness.

Ok, went to court for the TRO. (representing myself) I was broadsided with an attorney hired for both of them. He presented me with a nice agreement that had to deal with BF visitation rights. (I want to make it very clear I am not trying to block him from his children, I just do not feel that she is a very safe person to be around. Dad has open access to his children. ) Ok, so I am presented with a rough draft agreement that goes something like this:

Parenting time expeditor will be assigned and hired by BF.

TRO will be dropped, effective when new agreement is agreed upon and signed by both parties, and a judge.

SM will have no contact with BM at her residence, by phone, mail, at the school, ETC..

SM shall maintain regular counseling sessions and provide written proof to the expeditor that she is going to them weekly.

SM will maintain her medication and provide prescript that she is on them and filling them regularly.

SM shall have supervised visits with the children for an hour at a time at expeditors office until such time expeditor feels she is able to handle them in home dwelling with BF.

BF shall get his computer up and running and both parties shall purchase access to family wizard and all communication be through that and email.

There were a few other little things, but I can't remember them. Everything was written on a legal pad and read off to me.

Judge swore me in and asked if I agreed to such an agreement and I said I would agree to move this to family court, I stated to the court this has nothing to do with blocking visitation, and that I wanted the TRO in effect until an agreement was actually agreed upon, and the judge said "and signed by a judge". I said absolutley.

1. I do not have to agree to the supervised visits do I??  

2. Parenting time expeditor is not a mental health professional and can not make that kind of determination can he?

3. I have no idea what to do to keep the children safe from her.  The TRO is effective until we come to an agreement, any suggestions?

Help! Drawing a blank on what to do here and mental health is not my specialty.

Thank you Soc!

[socrateaser]

>1. I do not have to agree to the supervised visits do I??  

Nope.

>
>2. Parenting time expeditor is not a mental health
>professional and can not make that kind of determination can
>he?

I have no idea, but I'm not sure why BF should have to pay for it, anyway.

>
>3. I have no idea what to do to keep the children safe from
>her.  The TRO is effective until we come to an agreement, any
>suggestions?

Don't come to an agreement, and maintain the TRO.

>
>Help! Drawing a blank on what to do here and mental health is
>not my specialty.

Ain't my specialty, either. I would simply demand that all visitation be supervised by a neutral third party, until the kids are old enough to protect themselves, and maintain your own TRO against the BM.

You are feeling guilty, and thereby agreeing to accept your husband's problem. Well, that's just it -- it's HIS problem, not yours, unless you make it yours. So don't. Protect yourself as much as you can and then move on to life's next challenge.