More documents re: contempt

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

Hope you had a nice vacation, and happiest of holidays to you, Soc.

The situation is in Pa., X having primary physical, myself with partial physical and joint legal. Included in the court order is:..."and shall cooperate and communicate with each other concerning the welfare of the children. Both parents shall be under an affirmative obligation to cooperate with the other for the benefit of their children"...

This afternoon, I obtained documents in my X's handwriting, as well as signed by my X. This document is in regards to education. Included in this document:
Name of male parent/guardian: Of course, dad's info.
Name of female parent/guardian: (Hand written by X is new wifes name, address, phone.)

My daughter pointed out to her dad that "new wife" is not her mother. Dad told her that it was not important because mom (me) does not live at their house.

I have been "document! document! document! ~ing for a  year. In light of the court order, and in addition to other blatant contempt issues:

1. Would this certified copy possibly be considered in any way as contempt? or
2. If not contempt, more amunition in regard to PAS?

Thanks Soc!

[socrateaser]

>1. Would this certified copy possibly be considered in any way
>as contempt? or

The affirmative obligation to cooperate is pretty vague. You're not gonna get a contempt out of father using a different contact name on the enrollment forms (if that's what they are).

>2. If not contempt, more amunition in regard to PAS?

It's possibly proof that the other parent holds you in some disregard, and that he is attempting to "replace" you in the child's life. By itself, it's not gonna carry much weight, because he can just say that he didn't understand and thought it would be better to use a close by emergency contact name, rather than the other parent. However, if this is added to a long series of actions, you could use it to show "habit", i.e., the other parent is acting in conformity with his habit of treating you as if you have no place in the child's life, and that is not in the child's best interests.

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

Yes, it's a long series of actions. More to add to my "documents".

Thanks Soc, blessed holidays  ;-)

[FLMom]

Just wanted to add to this a little bit.

It is worth saving to a file as proof of ex's hostility towards you. I remember that you had this problem with medical records also, right?

I had my ex do the same thing, and if I've learned nothing else from all of what I've been through it's that "proactive" is better than "reactive". The court is going to want to see follow through on your part. When things like this happen, be they medical, educational, extracurricular, etc. it's up to YOU to be the one to be at the school, doctor's office, dentist's office, baseball field, etc. making sure that your name is listed on everything under the sun.

Yes, you can wave documents showing "look what he tried to pull", but what the court will really respect is seeing that you headed it off at the pass by saying "and this is the copy of what I had to file with (doctor, school, coach) to ensure that all of our numbers were listed.

BTW, just because there are lines on these forms doesn't mean that you have to stay within them! When my ex wrote his version out he listed just him. When I filed the amended papers I listed him, me, his wife and my husband. What will the court see? A parent that really cares about putting his/her children first in case contact is needed.

Good Luck,
FLMom

[I cry_ in_the_dark]

Thanks for the input.

I've already covered most bases on this, or so I thought. I had a major go-around with the school this year already. They hadn't been notifying me when my son was getting in trouble. Wow did I blow! (Especially since I had already given them a copy of my court order, and made it perfectly clear that I didn't care what it was...but when dad got a call, I was to receive the same call.

Then it came time for signing some papers for some special classes for my son, and my name was not listed on them. I refused to sign them until they reprinted them all, and I made them do it right then and there.

My son receives mental health services for his ADHD. I questioned them as to why I was not being notified of anything all of a sudden. Do you find it strange that they had received a letter from me giving them a new phone and change of address???? No, I had not moved or changed numbers. And no, they no longer had the letter. They changed their records and threw it away  :-(

Now I make notes on all forms that unless I appear IN PERSON, no information is to be changed regarding any of my information. Is it any wonder that I question if people think I'm a fruit cake over the silliest of things?!?!

[FLMom]

Hun, we ALL look like the cheese has slipped off of our crackers when we're going through this.

If your marriage was still together and you were still "home" all of the time, would they even, for half a second, think to accept the fact that you didn't have to be notified about even minor changes of your son's classes? Heck no.

Just do everything as if you were still living with your son on a daily basis. That's the only normalcy you can give him in all of your ex's antics. I'm gonna be a mom to you no matter what. Period.