When Does It Ever End?

[NWMom]

Hi Soc,

I have posted to you several times and now I have a new situation that just popped up last night.

I will bring you up to speed...

Divorced in WA State.  Financial jurisdiction remains in WA state.
Ex Husband Flees to CA where our ONGOING Custody continues.

Child Support has always been paid directly to my ex and in doing so I have over paid him grossly.  (over 25,000 total since 1998) Court Ordered amount was $608 but I paid him anywhere from $800-$1500
because he claimed the children needed more money and I had got a new job that paid more. Turns out he was using it for hair implants and new car!!!

In 2001 he reported me to Support Enforcement claiming that I was in arrears of $2800.00  ( False Claim)

DSHS then in turn immediately sent me a letter advising me to pay up or have my accounts frozen and my DL revoked.  I immediately hired an attorney, he wrote a letter and DSHS dropped it and the judge found that I was not in arrears.  NOTHING happened to him for false report.
I did ask DSHS how they figure amounts in arrears or over paid.  The answer given to me was they add up all the amounts the court orders and then add up all the amounts the person has paid and figure it from there.  You either owe or you are considered current.  

My lawyer modified our child support to the correct amount with my income increase.  Child Support now set at $897.00 a month. Never paid him a penney more then the order and always paid.  So he moves with the children without permission...

2003 my income changes dramatically (lowered) but due to delays, lawyer not filing paperwork, ongoing custody dispute, etc the final order of support modification does not occur until May of 2004.  The amount due in cash to my ex is $454.91  I am credited for carrying insurance and air travel because my ex refuses.  

Starting in January of 2004 because of the insurance of over $300 being deducted from my check I sent him only $450.  Because that is what my lawyer estimated my portion to be once filed and because I have a VERY VERY LARGE OVER PAYMENT.  I figured why not DSHS told me themselves that they woudl apply any overages to amounts due.

With your help I managed to get him to sign my IRS tax exemption form.  But since he has had to sign he has written me a letter demanding I pay him over $3000.00 or he will take me to court for contempt.  Based on the fact that I did not pay him the full amount of child support as stated in our court order.

So.................

I called my CA lawyer because he is the most active lawyer I have and asked him what I should do.  He told me to ignore him and just wait and see if he moves forward with a suit against me.  He also commented that if it is true of my overpayments perhaps I should send him nothing till it all evens out!  I said it would be nice but not right.  I am sure there is WA law that limits how much overpayments you can apply each month.  Plus I have never played that trump card.

Because I have paid him directly all these years DSHS does not have a record of any payments.  They would strictly go by my records of checks. In the event of a dispute.  

In the event that I was wrong about my over payment theory, I called the support Enforcement office and just asked a general question.  I stated it as such.  "If a person has made a higher payment then the obligated amount in the court order for years and then recently made a slightly less then the ordered amount payment.  Would that person be considered in contempt?"  They answered me that they add up all the amounts and subtract all the paid amounts and if there is any over the person is just considered "Current".

Now you have the back ground here is the questions:

1)  What should I do?  LOL


2)  Should I just wait and be prepared to show proof of past overpayments?


3) Should I respond to my EX with a letter?  


4) If so how should I word it? The words I would like to use are not nice


5) Can I get some relief from the court to make him stop claiming that  I don't pay my support? I'm reaching on that one I know..


6) Do you agree with what the state has told me?


7) It's obvious the signing of the tax exemptions set him off. Should I bring this up to the judge( if it gets that far) that this is just malicious actions because he never uttered a word to me about the payments all year?



8) Are you mad at me for posting such a long post?  LOL Sorry Soc but when does this BS ever end?

[socrateaser]

>1)  What should I do?  LOL

Stop paying more than you owe.

>
>
>2)  Should I just wait and be prepared to show proof of past
>overpayments?

Sounds like a recipe for disaster if the judge doesn't agree with your legal theory.

>
>
>3) Should I respond to my EX with a letter?  

No, respond with an uzi (israeli fully automatic handheld machine gun).

>
>
>4) If so how should I word it? The words I would like to use
>are not nice

I don't know. Just tell him that he's not using the tax exemption so chill out.

>
>
>5) Can I get some relief from the court to make him stop
>claiming that  I don't pay my support? I'm reaching on that
>one I know..

Sure, if you go to the psychiatrist and spend money on therapy for your ex's verbal abuse, you can sue for infliction of emotional distress -- otherwise, forget it.

>
>
>6) Do you agree with what the state has told me?

Not really. But the fact that this is the State's methodology could be a persuasive argument that the court should adopt the same method of determining arrears so that the courts are complying with the general legislative intent that all support awards in the state be "uniform."

Legally, child support becomes due and payable (i.e., a liquidated debt upon which a moneyt judgment may be had) as of the date for payment exhibited in the court order. So, if you are ordered to pay $1,000 per month, one half on the 1st and 16th of every month, then if your last payment was on the 1st, and it's now the 3rd, then you don't owe anything until the 16th. After all, your child and the other parent could die on the 4th and that would destroy your ongoing obligation entirely (bad example, but useful to make my point).

OK, so assuming the child and mom are alive on the 10th and you send a check for $500, what's that for? Legally, that payment is a (you know what I'm about to say, so let's draaaag it waaaay ouuuuuut and keep the suspense going) G I F T ! ! !

Uh huh...I hate being so smart...it just sucks sometimes.

You don't owe anything until the 16th, and no court could order you to pay early, without a material change in circumstances, so your early payment, unless it is expressly offered on the condition that it is accepted as an early support payment is a token of your affection, because you have no legal obligation to pay it yet.

Now, where does this leave you (besides wanting to set your hair on fire)? Well, all is not lost. You could argue, that, in as much as you don't owe the money yet, neither is the other parent entitled to it, yet. So, your early payment, while it may have been accepted as a gift, wasn't intended as such, and the other parent has been unjustly enriched at your expense in the amount of $500.

And, a court of equity would probably agree, and you would be entitled to restitution of your $500...until the 16th, that is, when you would now owe $500, and all would be square, your equitable restitution exactly offset by the other parent's right to a support payment.

Bottom line is that if your ex alleges that your overpayments were gifts, you will have to show that they were intended as support. If the court agrees and rules that you overpaid support, then you're entitled to restitution from the other parent for the amount of their unjust enrichment, offset by any support and penalties and interest you may owe.

If you FAIL to convince the court that you intended something other than a gift, then you is SOL, because a gift is a gift is a gift, and that means you still owe the unpaid support.

The trouble with lawyers is that most of them can't afford to take the time to think about the law the way that I do (why is that, she wonders).

I'm a no gonna tell ya. At least not today.


>7) It's obvious the signing of the tax exemptions set him off.
>Should I bring this up to the judge( if it gets that far) that
>this is just malicious actions because he never uttered a word
>to me about the payments all year?

You can bring it up, but it's really not relevant, because it won't change the outcome unless you can prove that you were intending your payments as extra support for the child and not a gift.

If you go to court, make sure that the word gift  or GIVE does not pass through your lips or you are dead. You did not "GIVE" money to the other parent. You PAID extra support. Get it?

> Are you mad at me for posting such a long post?  LOL Sorry
>Soc but when does this BS ever end?

Yes, I'm mad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore. Where's my Uzi? Actually, forget about that...where's my UZO??? (strong grecian liquor, used to gain enough courage to use uzi against evil custodial parents).

LOL. I'm on a roll. A Kaiser. No, wait, maybe some corn bread instead...

....say goodnite gracie.

[NWMom]

GOOD NIGHT GRACIE!!

I emailed DSHS today too after I hung up and asked them in writing to tell me how they handle this situation.  

Just so I have more proof of my side of the story.  Besides they didn't hold him in contempt of court for leaving the state without permission!!
I am not too worried.

I say bring it on... besides Soc I am way beyond setting my hair on fire and I probably could find a shrink to claim that he is driving me crazy.