Grounds for custody modification? (long)

[stepmom23]

State is Georgia.  Child is 5 yo.  Custody is 50/50.  Primary/CP with BM.

1) Custody agreement states that either party must provide 30 days written notice if moving.  No stipulations on distance.  CP moved without prior notice but did provide written notice after the fact.  Move was 2 months ago.  NCP attorney said at the time to hang tight and let CP add up some more contempts.

2) CP residence is now 50 miles away from NCP home (previous 13 miles away), and 70 miles from NCP work.  CP has final decision making rights for school and stated she will move child to new county schools this Fall.  NCP could not maintain his 50/50 without jeopardizing his job.  Would require 24 hours of missed work (80 hour period) in order to get child to school by 7:30 each morning and picked up by 2:30 each afternoon on his days.   Current pre-k (previous county) not currently an issue (6/23 miles currently from NCP home/work).  CP states on tape that this new burden to NCP is not her problem and she really doesn't care to discuss it.  Agreement says to pick up from school.  CP won't meet halfway.

3) In addition to monthly CS, NCP pays a $500 clothing allowance twice a year.  Agreement states that CP is to provide all receipts to NCP.  NCP has made 2 payments since agreement and no receipts.  CP, again on tape, states that she's not providing receipts and "What's the judge gonna do about it anyway?"

4) Paragraph in agreement states that "Neither party shall make any disparaging remarks about the other to the child, that would tend in any way to interfere with or harm the relationship that each party hereto has with the child."  CP stated to NCP that if he wanted sole custody of child, then she would be more than happy to give him up (on tape).  Later in day, child called crying to NCP saying that CP told him that NCP didn't want him to see CP anymore.  This conversation is on tape as well.  When asked, CP said she told child because she wanted him to know what his daddy is trying to do to his mommy.
 

And there's so much more but my fingers and mind are sore.  All conversations b/t CP and NCP since December 2002 are on CD's.

Are any of the above reasonable for potential modification of custody from current 50/50 to sole for NCP? Chances the decision could go to the CP for sole?

As a side note, CP owes her attorney that handled this case $2,500 and NCP was told by his attorney that CP would have a hard time finding representation due to this.  CP has not paid a penny since final decree signed in May 2004 and has admitted to it.  "Why should I pay him, I didn't get what I wanted (sole custody)?"


Thank you.

[socrateaser]

>Are any of the above reasonable for potential modification of
>custody from current 50/50 to sole for NCP? Chances the
>decision could go to the CP for sole?

Are you still exercising custody 50/50 despite the considerable distance involved?

[stepmom23]

Yes still exercising 50/50, but distance has not yet effected visitation.  Currently child is attending pre-k in previous county and all drop offs/pick ups are done at child's school (this is stated in agreement).  Once child starts kindergarten in new county this upcoming fall, the distance will come into play.    



>Are any of the above reasonable for potential modification of
>custody from current 50/50 to sole for NCP? Chances the
>decision could go to the CP for sole?

Are you still exercising custody 50/50 despite the considerable distance involved?

[socrateaser]

>Yes still exercising 50/50, but distance has not yet effected
>visitation.  Currently child is attending pre-k in previous
>county and all drop offs/pick ups are done at child's school
>(this is stated in agreement).  Once child starts kindergarten
>in new county this upcoming fall, the distance will come into
>play.    

Well, I'll tell ya, I think it was a mistake to not immediately file for a restraining order against the other parent as soon as there was any knowledge that the child was being moved out of the area.

You have established a new status quo, and even if the other parent is found in contempt, that won't guarantee that the court may not find a change in circumstance and alter the present custody arrangement in the other parent's favor.

The contempt, by itself, is not the determinor of custody -- the child's best interests is.

[stepmom23]

>
>Well, I'll tell ya, I think it was a mistake to not
>immediately file for a restraining order against the other
>parent as soon as there was any knowledge that the child was
>being moved out of the area.
>
>You have established a new status quo, and even if the other
>parent is found in contempt, that won't guarantee that the
>court may not find a change in circumstance and alter the
>present custody arrangement in the other parent's favor.
>
>The contempt, by itself, is not the determinor of custody --
>the child's best interests is.

Based on letter from CP in December (after move), child was to stay in schools of previous county - not new county - because it's halfway b/t CP and NCP.  Just Monday of this week did CP state she was moving him to school in new county.  NCP contacted Attorney yesterday and is awaiting advice from him on next move to make.

Is it not in the child's best interest to also have stability?  Having moved 7 times in two years does not show stability nor the best interests of the child.  She's established a pattern already with her older son who at 11 years old has been in 4 different elementary schools, not including the new one he'll enter in Fall.  Sorry Soc - as I said before, there are so many more issues.  

[socrateaser]

>Is it not in the child's best interest to also have stability?

Does she still have custody of the 11 year old, even after all of her apparently bad behavior? If so, then you've answered your own question as to the probable outcome of your case.

You can argue all of the parent's indiscretions, but the bottom line is that the other parent has moved and you have permitted it without a fight. If this was done on the advice of your attorney, then unless that attorney has a very good reason, i.e., he/she knows the judge and knows what's likely to happen in court, then you've shot yourself in the foot and there's probably no recovering.

[stepmom23]

>>
>Does she still have custody of the 11 year old, even after all
>of her apparently bad behavior? If so, then you've answered
>your own question as to the probable outcome of your case.
>
>You can argue all of the parent's indiscretions, but the
>bottom line is that the other parent has moved and you have
>permitted it without a fight. If this was done on the advice
>of your attorney, then unless that attorney has a very good
>reason, i.e., he/she knows the judge and knows what's likely
>to happen in court, then you've shot yourself in the foot and
>there's probably no recovering.
>


CP has custody still of the 11 yo.  That child's father was never active in his life until recently.

Regarding the move.  Was not known to us until after the move that it was taking place.  Heck, she just had a baby and we didn't even know she was pregnant until she called from the hospital to tell 5 yo he had a new baby brother.  Child never talked about either beforehand.

Thanks for the straight talk Soc.  We can only hope that NCP attorney has a very, very good plan.