Advice Please

[stevmitom2]

Socrateaser,

All court issues are in Georgia.  Children currently 12y/o boy and 8y/o girl.  Divorced in Nov 2000.  Joint Physical/Legal issued with alternating weekly visitation.  I remarried Nov 2001, lost my job and had to move to Oregon in Jan 2003, leaving children with mother, giving her sole Physical/Legal Custody.

I spent between Jan 2003 and Aug 2004 documenting, recording phone calls (legal in Oregon and Georgia), contacting DFACS (Social Services), getting police records, etc., to prove her an unfit mother.  I was awarded Temporary Custody Aug 2004 with Sole Physical to me but Joint Legal.  The mother lied in court, stating I had beat the kids and her.   The judge stopped the hearing, stated 'this woman is lying', but the judge then stated she couldn't ignore the accusations so she ordered an evaluation of my house, which hasn't been done yet.

Things proven at the Temp Custody hearing:  children were left home alone for entire weekends (have learned since it was up to a week), ex-boyfriend obtaining Xanax from other people's prescriptions and giving it to her in front of the children, physical abuse between mother and ex-boyfriend with the children having to call the police, too many other things to mention.

Children's mother moved to Germany three months after hearing.  I have more proof their mother abused illegal drugs post-Temp hearing while living in US.  I requested a hair follicle drug test be done before she moved.  She initially consented, but fired her attorney and is now refusing.

Mother calls sporadically, gets upset when she asks the children if something is wrong and they state they like living here.  She continually asks my daughter if she is being 'touched inappropriately' by anyone in the house.  My daughter always replies with the same answer of 'no'.  Mother is a master brainwasher.

Judge states I am not allowed to record children's conversation, even though DFACS social worker and their current counselor state I should.  I mentioned in Temp Custody hearing the court case Pollock vs Pollock that implied consent was given to me because I was looking out for the best interest of the children.

Mother has told children she is working through her new attorney (4th total) to see them for spring break.  She has since emailed me requesting I sign the documentation for passports to be issued, which I haven't.  Final custody hearing hasn't been scheduled yet because drug test hearing is still waiting to be scheduled.

My attorney seems to be dragging his feet.  I've told him I want a petition written denying any visitation until drug test and Final Custody Hearing is done.  I can't afford another attorney.  I wrote the initial change of custody paperwork myself and submitted it, but my attorney seems to be against me doing any more of the paperwork.

Questions:
1. Should I write the petition for no visitation myself if my attorney assumes none will be given because there is no permanent custody granted?
2. If she is granted visitation, is the court going to expect me to actually contribute to the costs of international travel, especially when her uncle told me she has stated if she can get the children with her for visitation she won't give them back?
3. Should I initiate the home evaluation to be conducted to prove I have nothing to hide, or should I wait for as long as they want so I have my children residing with me for a longer period of time?
4. I can't afford an appeal of the ruling for no telephone conversation recording between the children and their mother, but what else can I do about the brainwashing that is going on when they talk to their mother and I can't prove it?
5. I can't afford to have their counselor fly to Georgia to give testimony, but is their any other way I can get her findings from the counseling sessions (telephone, video, etc.)?
6. Should I subpoena her uncle and other acquaintances she was with during her drug binges (some are in jail for using her car in exchange for drugs)?
7. When should I request for jurisdiction be changed to Oregon?
8. Should I video tape the children at my home and how they interact with the rest of the family, to include video taping them when their mother tells them to hide in the bathroom so she can talk to them alone?
9. Any other advice?

I know there is so much more to say, but my mind is blank.  As far as I am concerned, considering her history of leaving the children alone, her party lifestyle and current drug use, she can fly here and visit them any time she wants, but I don't want them leaving the country.

Thank you for the time.  I hope this fits the criteria of the forum.

Michael

[socrateaser]

>Questions:
>1. Should I write the petition for no visitation myself if my
>attorney assumes none will be given because there is no
>permanent custody granted?

No. You'll just annoy the judge. You have sole physical, so it's up to the other parent to motion for visitation.

>2. If she is granted visitation, is the court going to expect
>me to actually contribute to the costs of international
>travel, especially when her uncle told me she has stated if
>she can get the children with her for visitation she won't
>give them back?

I don't read tea leaves, but as the mother moved to Germany, she will almost certainly be taxed with the additional costs, unless this move was forced on her by military duty.

>3. Should I initiate the home evaluation to be conducted to
>prove I have nothing to hide, or should I wait for as long as
>they want so I have my children residing with me for a longer
>period of time?

If you're ordered to have a home eval, then do it, otherwise don't.

>4. I can't afford an appeal of the ruling for no telephone
>conversation recording between the children and their mother,
>but what else can I do about the brainwashing that is going on
>when they talk to their mother and I can't prove it?

I think you're overreacting. You have sole custody and the mother is in Germany. Your best protection from the mother's "brainwashing," as you call it, and I don't necessarily agree that this is what is going on, is to love your kids and move on with your life. Your kids will sense the stability of their evironment and they will know when the mother is manipulating them.

>5. I can't afford to have their counselor fly to Georgia to
>give testimony, but is their any other way I can get her
>findings from the counseling sessions (telephone, video,
>etc.)?

Video depositions are common for expert testimony.

>6. Should I subpoena her uncle and other acquaintances she was
>with during her drug binges (some are in jail for using her
>car in exchange for drugs)?

Maybe, but I don't have enough case specific facts.

>7. When should I request for jurisdiction be changed to
>Oregon?

When the temporary order is made permanent and in your favor.

>8. Should I video tape the children at my home and how they
>interact with the rest of the family, to include video taping
>them when their mother tells them to hide in the bathroom so
>she can talk to them alone?

You need to calm down and take things as they come. If you try to manufacture evidence for the evaluator, he/she will know what you're doing. You have a HUGE advantage right now. Don't blow it by letting your anxiety overcome your common sense.

>9. Any other advice?

Yes, take the kids skiing at Mt. Bachelor before the season ends. Stay at Sunriver.

>
>I know there is so much more to say, but my mind is blank.  As
>far as I am concerned, considering her history of leaving the
>children alone, her party lifestyle and current drug use, she
>can fly here and visit them any time she wants, but I don't
>want them leaving the country.

Not wanting the kids to leave the country is a reasonable request.