Need a reality check re: no contact orders/ RO?

[finytsisstn]

Dear Soc:

Quite a while ago, got some advice from you re: my ex wife double dipping with regard to several thousands in support already paid to her.  You gave some great advice.  It was a complicated jurisdictional problem, we are in different states, with the divorce having taken place in yet another state altogether.  She had managed to get the state I live in to order me to pay her AGAIN for a debt already paid. This is despite the fact that I had all the proof (ALL)... small town, small town judge, etc.  You suggested I sue for fraud,  unjust enrichment or even go to small claims since at the time I could not afford councel.

It has been a long time, but I found some help and am moving forward with this and am told I have an excellent case.  Much of it thanks to that wrinkled up printout I have from you.. so thanks.

Now, here is what I want to know because this guy is working for peanuts and I have to make my time with him really count.  The fraud was just a little piece of what me and my family have endured as damage from my former spouse.  People have been hurt irreparably .  My relationship with my 3 kids with my ex was severed completely due to her actions and they have become hostile to a dangerous point.  Threats have been made to myself and my family that must be taken seriously and they continue to this day.  The threats have also been made by the ex. All this is documented.  But basically the cops want the bullet in your chest before they can do anything because it is interstate.

The kids are involved in drugs and alcohol and want nothing to do with me anyway.  The mother's life is out of control and all my efforts to help have only been met with threats and attacks.

I have very young kids and a large family that needs protection and has suffered long and hard.  This year, in 7 months and 3 weeks, I finish paying support for my youngest child with her. But I know, that the harassment and torture will never stop, especially when she finds out about the fraud case.

I intend to let the attorney move on with the fraud case.  I have also begun proceedings with the catholic church to anull my marriage to my ex once and for all.

I would like to know, since I have no more financial obligations to the children or to her, do I have legal grounds to seek some sort of "no contact order" or something like it in order that I may sever contact and my family and I can feel safe and live in peace from now on. Is such a request realistic? I don't do this in haste.  I truly believe there  is no other remedy.  It is impossible to list here all the reasons why I have been pushed to this decision.

My family is in danger, sadly not just from the ex, but from the kids too.

I am also willing to consider name changes and moving my family out of the state and possibly even the country to escape this situation.

Thank you.

[KAT]

I could have written your post myself. Support of 2k per month ends in 208 days (which is their only income). We are already getting veiled threats. I am terrified!!!!  I think what scares me the most is seeing how afraid my 6ft 6" husband is of his own children. Sadly, we are not alone.

There is problem with restraining orders. They don't stop bullets & it sure doesn't help you put out those pesky late night arson fires either.

We are moving...I highly suggest you consider doing the same.

Good Luck!
 
KAT

[socrateaser]

>I would like to know, since I have no more financial
>obligations to the children or to her, do I have legal grounds
>to seek some sort of "no contact order" or something like it
>in order that I may sever contact and my family and I can feel
>safe and live in peace from now on. Is such a request
>realistic? I don't do this in haste.  I truly believe there
>is no other remedy.  It is impossible to list here all the
>reasons why I have been pushed to this decision.

>My family is in danger, sadly not just from the ex, but from
>the kids too.

You can file for a domestic violence restraining order on grounds that you fear physical injury from your ex and your children. But, no court order can stop a bullet or a knife. So, if your ex/kids are dangerous, the order will not change them or the likelihood of their injuring you.