Dear Socrateaser Please help...

[debrick]

I am a father from New York, with sole custody of 3 children (boys 11 & 13) daughter 10. I now live in Arkansas for the last year. Real mother out of picture for past 9 years. I married again in 2000 for 1 yr. 4 mos. then we separated. Divorced her in Febuary 2004.

She filed for guardianship back in 2002, while we were separated, and the Ontario county judge dismissed it saying there was no blood relation. Then after our divorce was finalized in 2/2004 and I and my kids moved to Arkansas, X wanted guardianship of my daughter, and took me to back to court.

Ontario County gave her temporary/permanent guardianship. She represented herself as my daughters mother and through the law guardian. (thought the law guardian was suppose to represent the child not the (NON-PARENT, NON-MOTHER).She wants to be my daughters mother, but she is not and never will be. She is now trying to get a restraining order so that I will not be able to phone or see my daughter anymore. I had a lawyer that was not willing to stand up for my rights as the sole custodial parent.

Temporary or Permanent?
In court on 7/19/04 it was stated temporary guardianship. This is the order I received. But, I have just recently found out that the Law Guardian typed out a permanent guardianship, at that time without it going in front of the court. And, I never received a copy of this order.
I have also found out that there was a court date on 7/8/04 that I was never told about. I was in court on 7/19/04 for 4 hours and was charged by my lawyer at $140.00 per hour. When I sent for the court transcripts last week I was told there was no court hearing on that day, therefore there was nothing for me to receive.

Yes, It was said that she was not the mother, but she was referred to as Child's mother. I kept telling my lawyer to remind them that she was not the mother, He would once and a while, or he would say they know that. I'm just looking for some info, I feel like I am being manipulated by the NY Family Court System.

Yes, I had custody of all 3 children and the two boys are living here with me in Arkansas. My daughter was also living here and enrolled in school and the Judge ordered on a Friday, that I get her back in NY by that following monday. (I am told by several people now that I did not have to do that).

Yes, I contested the Guardianship and my ex made allegations that I was an unfit father, but the judge gave me the 2 boys and told me to take them back to AR. giving my ex guardianship of my daughter. I was proved fit and a good father, but the law guardian kept advocating that she needed a mother figure in her life. This matter never went as far as a formal hearing.

I am now engaged to a woman who is trying to help me put a stop to this nightmare. NY family court even ordered a criminal check on my fiance and her 2 teenage daughters and Social Services did a home study here in Arkansas, which we passed with flying colors.
BUT: there was never a criminal check on X or her male companion, or a home study done on the living quarters. She lives in a 1 bdrm apartment. We have a 2400sq.ft. 4 bdrm. home.
It is my belief that on the day we were not told to be in court that decisions were made that I was never made aware of.

Court ended in July and there were no documents sent to me by the courts or my attorney. We were financially drained when we left New York and the Family Court there. Now we have ordered transcripts and copies of the last orders to see exactly how they read.

The bio mom is in NY, back in 1997 there was a finding of neglect and sexual abuse against her and her boyfriend, (he is currently serving a prison term for this. She has no visitation and has not had any contact with any of the kids since my daughter was 6 months old, (when I received full custody).

There was no default judgement, but I also was not informed by my attorney of what went on at a pre trial conference the week before the hearing. I was told by my attorney that I was not able to be at the conference.

Is it illegal to listen in on a childs phone call with their dad? Because my Ex does this all of the time.

Can you record a phone conversation? This would show that my daughter is being coached on what she is allowed to tell us.

Can a New York Law Guardian bring an "order to show cause" proceeding in 2004 before the family court, (she was appointed back in 2002 in a previous custody hearing in which at that time all matters were dismissed or withdrawn)? I thought the Law Guardian was suppose to represent my daughter, not her ex-step mother (of only 1year and 4 months, before we divorced).

The Law Guardian used the childrens biological mother as the petitioner, without her having any knowledge of this petition. The GAL is working for the step-mom and not the best interest of my daughter.

This order to show cause was brought up by my ex wife (of only 1yr. 4 mos.) (Not mother to any of my children) she was accusing me of being unfit. But this was proved to be untrue and the judge gave me both of the boys. But gave my daughter to this EX-Step Parent, because the law guardian said she needed a mother figure in her life.

There are also docket numbers from back then that are being used, without a revision date?

Are court orders legal if they are not sighned by the attorneys or petitioner (only the judge)?

I am being denied my phone calls, and when I mentioned Spring Break visit she flipped out and is trying to get a restraining order against me. If i go to her house she will not let me see my daughter except through the screen door. She was ordered back in 7/04 to take my daughter to a psychologist, that never happened until 12/04. Now she is claiming my daughter is afraid of me.

We live in Arkansas and have not seen my daughter since 7/04. My daughter was living here until the judge ordered me to bring her back to NY, where they gave her to my Ex.

We call my daughter 3-5 days a week because our calls are never answered or returned. I am lucky if I talk to her 1 time in 6 weeks which never last for more than 5 minutes. She is coached on everything in the phone conversation. She is not allowed to talk about Arkansas, or about missing anyone down here.

Isn't it illegal to listen in on a childs phone call?

Now my Ex's new boy friend is telling me that my Ex won't talk to me and my daughter is afraid of me and doesn't want me or my sons calling there anymore.

Is there anyway to get a new law guardian assigned, that will work in the BEST INTEREST of My DAUGHTER? Please help me.

The law guardian refused to listen to my sons when they were telling her about physical abuse by my Ex to them and my daughter. My 12 year old has an IQ of over 200 and he tells it like it is. He asked the law guardian why she was representing XXX when she was suppose to be their law guardian and working for the children and looking out for their best interest. She then dropped my sons 10 & 12 as her clients and kept my daughter 9 and my Ex (not my childrens mother) as her clients.

This woman has tried to get custody of my daughter before back in 2002. The judge back then dismissed her petition and said she had no rights and was no blood related. Two court dates later, the Law Guardian advocated for her to have visitation. Which she received for all the children, but she only wanted my daughter.

I don't understand how she even got the visitation when there was not even a petition before the courts.

I have always had a lawyer, but as you can see he done me wrong. I think there may have been a conflict of interest, since he was a good friend with the law guardian.

By me getting custody of my daughter when she was only 6 months old, and never having a mother figure in her life until she was 5 years old, (though it only lasted the short time) the LG used this against me. Stating to the judge that X is the only mother figure that my daughter has ever known, and she needs to be in her life.

My Ex is also abusive, closet drinker who attends Al Anon meetings every Sunday, Bipolar, and Excessive Compulsive, and a control freak. She has men spend the night and they sleep and _____ in the same bedroom as my daughter. They live in a 1 bdrm apartment, she put up a partial wall with no door.

Thank you for any and all advice or help that you can give me. Rick


Thank you for any and all advice or help that you can give me. Rick

[jcsct5]

Wow... It sounds like the courts there are really messed up, & I thought it was bad here in CA.

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Good Luck and Best Wishes.