On letter documentation....

[dipper]

Soc,

You had recommended writing a letter of any violation to the court order so that there is 'documentation' of the incident.

However, my dh is reluctant to do so.  In court in January, her lawyer was very critical of the fact that dh communicated through letters.  I think that may have been in part because the letters and her letters did provide documentation and this was his way of making it look bad.............We had asked many people  - and everyone had told us that putting stuff in writing shows what actually took place ..............However, the judge agreed with the lawyer.  The judge did admit that bm is mean and spiteful to dh, yet he told dh to call bm instead of writing letters.  The letters were regarding violations, counseling, visitation, etc....

If dh does talk with bm about the violations, there is no documentation.

Doesnt dh have the legal right to protect his interest by communicating through letter?

[socrateaser]

>Doesnt dh have the legal right to protect his interest by
>communicating through letter?

Yes, unless the judge specifically ordered DH to not send letters to BM. Your facts state that the judge told DH not to write letters. I'm not certain whether that was a court order or whether it was just a suggestion made in passing, so I can't comment further.

The general rule is "never put anything in writing because it may be used against you later." This is not a real rule, it's just a common wisdom of life. The reason for the rule is that you can never know how the future will turn, and something that seems completely reasonable written today, may be viewed as unreasonable when read tomorrow.

But, if all you are doing is reporting the news, i.e., "At ??:?? AM, ??/??/????, I arrived at ________, to pick up our minor child, ____. I waited for 30 minutes, however the child and his/her mother never appeared. A copy of the mini-market receipt for coffee is attached to show the time and date."

This is unlikely to hurt you later, although someone could argue that it shows a pattern of hostility and mistrust.

Everything is a judgment call. You must pick your battles, and decide which are too petty to fight.