To those who have been following my posts and any others interested!

[MYSONSDAD]

You are not alone. I did not get my son for the weekend.

It sucks!!

"Children learn what they live"

[onedaddy]

I'm sorry!

BM over here told SD to tell us she was not coming either this Monday, DH said to SD "but mommy wrote me a letter a while ago stating that you were going to be with daddy. Oh don't worry about it I'll take care of it another time.Okay, maybe I'll call my friend Janis (the GAL)". Well not even an hour later I got a call for the step-father stating they will be dropped off at 8:00PM on Sunday, hooray!  She is finally getting nervous of the upcoming custody fight.  A few months ago this would have never happened.

I wish you the best!  Things are sure to turn around!

[Stepmom0418]

Yes it does suck!! Especially when we had plans for the holiday weekend that involved SS as well as the other 4 kids. Since we didnt tell the other 4 kids about the plans, we are going to postpone our plans for another weekend because we just dont like doing alot of family outings with out him. It just dont seem fair!

[Stepmom0418]

It just seems so sad that BM can intefeer and cause so much pain to so many people including SS and my 4 children and DH too! (how can a BM HURT their own child?) I dont think I will ever know that answer!

I figured BM here would be getting nervous too but so far she is still ignoring the court order!


All of the kids involved are the ones who are getting hurt and she is the one doing the hurting!!

It makes me so sick to think that this woman can hurt MY 4 children and she can get away with it!!! (dh and i have 2 children together, we have 2 cbildren that we raise together with a little help from my exhusband, and then we have ss.) There seems to be little that we can do about the hurt except to try and explain and hope the kids understand that it isnt our fault and we are trying to make this as peaceful as we can! (as hard as it is)

As a mother I sure am finding it hard as hell not to go off on BM and give her a piece of my mind about the hurt she is causing all of the children including mine!!!!

I always thought that as a mother I was to teach and protect my children but here I am letting this woman hurt my kids and there is nothing I can do about it!! Unless I was to jeoperadize my DH's custody battle, and I would NEVER do that!!

Sorry I guess I got a little carried away but it sure is upsetting to me to know that she can hurt a bunch of innocent kids and she can get away with it!! (AND THEY ARENT EVEN HER OWN CHILDREN!! EXCEPT FOR SS BUT THE OTHER 4 ARENT!!)

JMO but I think it should be considered child abuse to do what this woman has done to her child and to mine!!

[onedaddy]

It is child abuse.  It is emotional abuse.  
I am terrified that my SS (5) and SD (7) are going to grow up to be very angry, very lonley adults.  They are told not to hug or kiss daddy, not to tell daddy they love him.  To cry and scream they don't want to come over, like they did this weekend.  My husband almost gave in this weekend, they love it here, they have friends and freedom.  How dare any mother do this to any child.
I always thought it was our job as parents and adults to protect  children.  But the courts won't allow this.  My husband is fighting with every ounce of his being to be part of his children's lives, to not have his custody taken away because he has "OCD", ridiculous?, YES! and even if this was true, which it is NOT,  SO WHAT!  
It is NOT okay that they are living with a convicted criminal who spent 2 1/2 years in prison for beating up a pregnant ex, 5 months for beating up another ex, 1 1/2 years for arson (BTW my husbands brand new truck was blown up last year).  He has threatened my husband on numerous occasions in front of the children, saying some sick things. He is currently on probation for patronizing a prostitute near the home he shares with the children.  He has had  numerous orders of protection from ex-wives, girlfriends and family members. He has 2 children by 2 woman he has no rights to, yet he has more rights over these children then their own father.
And my SD who missed some 25 fulls days and 20 half days of school last year.  My SS who at 5 is only first starting school tomorrow.  Who has a terrible stuttering problem, but has missed 21 sessions with the speech therapist since January.  
I'll tell you if I was being hurt or abused and noone protected me I'd be MAD.  
I'm sorry I tend to ramble too, because I'm so irate that the court system allows this b***sh**! to go on and on and on and on.  

[Stepmom0418]

I agree that it is B*** Sh** that the courts let this go on and on.

My DH has been fighting for his rights as well.

We just found out that BM moved and is living in a 2 bedroom trailer with
9 other people. One of those people is her mother and she just got out of drug rehab and still has pending drug chages and a probation violation for the new drug incident. (she was on probation for drugs as well)

We are living in a 4 bedroom home so there is plenty of room here for ss.

Also ss has missed over 70 days of school in the last 2 years. (he is a second grader this year.)


My 4 kids all added together didnt miss even a third of what ss has missed.

But the only thing I keep thinking is that she is hanging herself and builind DH's court case for him!!

HOPEFULLY THE COURT SYSTEM WILL DO THE RIGHT THING AND PROTECT OUR CHILDREN SOON!!!


I wanted to ask what state you are in?

[onedaddy]

We are in New York.  The divorce and original custody took plac in New Jersey where BM was found in contempt 2x for numerous counts. Everyone live in NY now and so this is were the custoby is to take place.

I just can't believe what I just read.  We keep thinking the horror we and these children are going through is crazy, unusual and I here simialr even worse stories.  I tell you this world keeps getting scarier and scarier. You'd think I'd be immune to this by now.  Everyday on this site on here another story of who bad the childs home life is with the mother and it is the father who is being persecuted.  

I can't imagine that the BM in your case in not hanging herself, 70+ absenses, living in trailer with 9 people and drug addicts. What a nightmare. I truely feel for your SS, DH, yourself and the 4 children involved. IT IS TIME OUR COURT SYSTEM STEPPED UP TO THE PLATE TAKES SOME RESPONSIBILTY FOR THIS DEVASTATION TO OUR CHILDREN AND STOPS THIS ATROCITY. They need to look at each situation individually and not as a mother/father battle.

[LizaLou1]

I may have missed this somewhere, but what is the distance difference between the her house from where she asked to you to meet her, town xx?

If the difference is not too far I suggest you pick up the child in town xx BUT stay at home on Sunday and wait for her to pick up the child at your residence.  If she gets piss off, oh well, your just following the court order.  I would not broadcast this was your plan, just do it.  This way you get to see the child.  

Is there a real mediation "agreement" between her and your DH?  Agreement implies both parties "agree" to something and that it's better a deal than court order.  So why fight the "agreement" if you made.  I believe the court would expect you to follow it until it gets court approved.    If there is no "agreement" just some PROPOSED agreement, the court order is certainly the correct way to go.

My DH drives approx 350  miles to pickup his kids at the court ordered half-way point.  He's made the drip 2 times to only find his visitation denied.  The 350 mile return trip is more than depressing.  So, we know your dissappointment.

Best of luck,

LizaLou

[Stepmom0418]

There was an "agreement " but since that day BM has continued to make her own rules and we are in the process of asking the court to let us procede to trial. We are going to ask the court to waive the mediation agreement due to new information since the agreement was made and also due to BM not following what was agreed to anyways. The agreement has not been signed or ordered in anyway by a judge. The only thing that has been ordered by the judge is the Temporary Court Order which is what we are following.

I agree with you that next time I think our best bet is going to be to pick up SS whereever BM deecides that should take place. Then we can sit here and wait for her to pick him up on Sunday! That way we will get to see SS!!

The reasons we dont want the mediation order are because Bm and SS and her BF are living in a 2 bedroom trail with 6 other people. So there is 9 people living in a 2 bedroom trailer. Plus it would be in SS best interest to live with DH and I in our 4 bedroom home.

If you look back through all of my posts (not just this one) you would see where Dh is comming from in wanting to waive the mediation agreement. He is asking for physical custody of SS based on the above and also DHS reports, drugs, SS missed over 70 days of school in the last 2 years and several other reasons.

The mediation agreement wont work because BM seems to think that she can change it when ever she wants! If the judge in our case decides to make the agreement an order then we will follow it just as we have the temp order. (bm hasnt followed the temp order or the agreement from day one it had been an issue)

BM seems to think SS doesnt have the right to see any of his dads family or even his dad! It is sad that BM cant see that SS loves his dad and his brother and sisters too!

[Stepmom0418]

DH attorney called this morning and informed us that PBFH's attorney has once again left right in the middle of important issues and is unavailable for 1 1/2 weeks.

Well DH attorney is NOT waiting any longer! DH attorney is preparing a motion to waive the mediation agreement. He is also going to prepare the motion for CONTEMPT!!

Those of you that have been following my posts know that this has been a long time coming!!

DH has missed a total of 209.25 hours since April, plus 2 two week segments in the summer. Plus DH has provided almost all of the transportation when it is ordered to meet half way!! (neither one BM or DH have  a licence so this way it is fair to both) Dh attorney says he is tired of playing games with the PBFH's attorney and the way he likes to leave things hanging in the air.

So i meet with DH attorney at 1 pm tomorrow (to give him all the details of the contempt issues) and then Dh will meet with him to go over and sign the papers on Thursday. Then DH attorney will file all paperwork with court on Friday!!

PBFH seems to think that Dh is going to stand by and allow her to do what ever she wants!!! HAHA!!! WRONG!!! I am sure it will be a BIG surprise to her to find out that she is up on NUMEROUS contempt's!! (i am talking over 10 of them at this point!! And all have plenty of physical evidence to back them up too!!)