Medical situation

[Sunshine1]

Soc,

We are at our wits end here. ( the story is so long it is exhausting) in oct. father admitted to me that his wife does not give our handicapped child all of his meds on their visits becasue she thinks they are too high of a dosage.  SM is bipolar and a few of our child's meds are the same as hers so she is comparing apples to oranges.

Since then we have been in an ugly visitation battle due to her illness and supervision of the children or lack there of.  Also he is saying he never told me those things and is saying I made it all up.

I was recently accused of child abuse of our child but it was dropped in which the investigator said it clearly had custody written all over it.  

I KNOW that BF and SM are not giving our child his recommended doses on their visits but the only proof I have is when he comes back he is so out of it it takes us all week to get him back to normal.  Teachers are on the border that he is acting strange but not too bad to cause concern.

1. How on earth do I prove that BF isn't giving the medication to our son?

2. Do you know of any case laws or cases you have heard of about special needs children or handicapped children that you could give me that would protect him?  He is a vulnerable child, he is unable to tell us if he gets his meds or not or if anyone hurt him.  PLEASE HELP!!

[Kitty C.]

Do what I did.......count pills!  If you send the same meds every time, count them (either by taking a pic or video) before and after every visitation.

About 5 years ago, one summer while DS was with his dad, his dad emphatically told me that he was giving DS his meds every day.  I knew how much meds DS went with and how much he SHOULD have used while he was there.  But DS came back with almost 3 weeks worth of 'extra' pills.  I believe that it could have led to the reason why DS started a fire in their backyard, during 'drought' season.

The proof is in the pill count...........

[Sunshine1]

I only send enough for the visit, I believe they are throwing them away.  On top of it they are saying that he is throwing up 20 min after they give them to him. Funny thing is, the only time there is a problem is when the children go to their house.  Keep the ideas a comin' I got 2 hours before drop off and police calls.

Thanks Kitty!

[Kitty C.]

If he is 'supposedly' throwing up within 20 min. of taking his pills, they will still be in the vomitus.  Tell them they need to have him throw up in a bag, they MUST 'seal' it well, and give it to you so that you can show it to his doctor.  If he is truely throwing up that quickly, the pills won't have time to get into his system and he will throw them up whole or at least partial.

Have you talked to his doctor about this non-compliance?  What does he say?

[Sunshine1]

Doctor's nurse took down all my info ( as I reassured her that kids had adequate meds for ANY visit with father. ) She also told me that she has had dealings with the BF and had an extensive "notation list" which she read to me over the phone (he he he) she also told me that she would forward me on to the social worker for the hospital because she was just the nurse and couldn't answer all of my questins...(BTW, exchange went very well, I had a friend come along and I purchased a video camera for this evenings exchange.  I never thought I would be one of those parents who had to video tape an exchange!)  Kitty, I will email you so I can get Soc's opinion on this whole nightmare.

Soc, calling Soc!  Are you out there good buddy?

[Sunshine1]

.

[hagatha]

Sunshine,

DO you think they are throwing the pills in the trash, down the garbage disposal, or down the toilet???

If they are simply throwing his meds in the trash, you could hire somone to go dumpster diving (hehehe) If the pills are there he can document that with pictures.

Or if possible, can you have blood work done on the boy immed after his return to check the levels of meds in his system?? I would think that would be sufficient evidence the meds are not being given.

As a side note . . . Is it possible the GF is using your sons meds for herself?

The Witch

Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

[socrateaser]

>1. How on earth do I prove that BF isn't giving the medication
>to our son?

Invite the step parent to lunch with some other neutral third party witness and ask her about the meds. Make up a story about wanting to establish a non-adversarial relationship. Who knows, maybe you can actually get some cooperation.

The only other thing that I can suggest is to simply take it to court based upon your word, and ask the court to question the child for confirmation.

>
>2. Do you know of any case laws or cases you have heard of
>about special needs children or handicapped children that you
>could give me that would protect him?  He is a vulnerable
>child, he is unable to tell us if he gets his meds or not or
>if anyone hurt him.  PLEASE HELP!!

This isn't the sort of thing that lends itself to a case law solution.

[Sunshine1]

I have already did this a couple of weeks ago and then all hell broke loose for some reason (don't need a reason when you are bi-polar).

Child can't tell you if he takes his meds and older brother does get his but they aren't interested in him because he can talk and tell me what happens.  Unfortunately though he can't tell me what happens with his brother's meds and I don't want him to have that kind of worry on his hands either.

I guess I will have to use the social worker at the hospital as a  resource.  I will tell you what happens or how this pans out.

Thanks!

[FLMom]

I think the best idea would be to have the pediatrician order
a blood test to see what level the medication is 1) after he's
been with you and 2) after a week with her.

I remember when my daughter was younger and had a seizure
disorder (she's fine now). We had to go every so often and do
a Tegretol level so that the doc could adjust her meds as needed.
We'd do one first thing in the AM an hour after meds, then do
another later in the day before her next dose was due. This is
called a "trough level" reading, because those kinds of meds
are only efficient for a certain number of hours before they drop
off completely. After the next dose is given, the readout of the
time prior to the second dose shows as a huge dip on the chart,
i.e. a "trough".

Just a thought and hope it helps. I went through this with my ex
last year with antibiotics. When I counted pills, our daughter had
missed 7 1/2 doses (1/2??!!) when I picked her up the next week.
I just documented it along with everything else. Sometimes the
stuff that leaves us exasperated is like "eh" to a lawyer. Enough
"eh"'s lead up to a "WHAT??" eventually, though.

Good Luck,
FLMom