Family Counseling

[MommyX4StepX1]

State Nebraska, All parties live in Nebraska
     Biomom has sole care, custody and control of minor child.
Minor Child is 7 years old. Parenting time with Dad is; Thur at 5pm or such time child is released from School or daycare until Sat. at 10am...Second week; Thur at 5pm or such time child is released from school or daycare until Sun 6pm.

     (Exact text from parenting plan)
     "Both parents can initiate emergency health care for the child and agree to notify the other of any significant illness, injury or emergence medical treatment of them as soon as possible. Each parent will have access to all treating medical personal for the child. The parties agree to discuss all issues concerning the child, such as health and medical, school-related problems and decisions, and any behavioral or disciplinary issues, which could impact both households. "

     Biomom lives with boyfriend of 4 years and he has a criminal record. 3 weeks ago he was dismissed of child abuse charges that involved the 7year old.  7 year old had a huge bruise on her shoulder and stated in court that the boyfriend did it. Judge stated he was just disciplining her and she was not in immediate danger.

     7year old has been suspended from school (1st grade) She has hit and bit other classmates and threaten to run away from her mom and school. Stepdaughter hurts herself and her younger siblings when she throws a tantrum.  

     I am the stepmother with 3 other children. One from a previous relationship (13yrs old) and two from my current marriage with 7-year-olds father. (Ages 2 yrs. and 15 months)
My husband and I want to go to family counseling because of the 7-year-old daughters' behavior. Biomom is against counseling and refuses to discuss any behavioral problems with my husband. Biomom refuses mediation, even though it's stated in the parenting plan they need to first attempt mediation process prior filing legal action.

1. Can we have stepdaughter involved in family counseling with out biomom's permission?
2. We have had no luck with the judge without solid proof, how can we get proof to get court order counseling?
3. In the meantime how to we protect our younger children from harm due to stepdaughters behavior?
4. How do we force biomom into mediation?
5. How do we file legal action for court order counseling with out thousands of dollars in lawyer fees, if mediation does not help?

Thanks for you help....

[socrateaser]

>1. Can we have stepdaughter involved in family counseling with
>out biomom's permission?

You can do it, but the other parent can probably force the counselor to stop the sessions.

>2. We have had no luck with the judge without solid proof, how
>can we get proof to get court order counseling?

Based on your posted facts, nothing short of a very serious battery by the boyfriend will be sufficient.

>3. In the meantime how to we protect our younger children from
>harm due to stepdaughters behavior?

Refuse to exercise visitation with the child, unless the other parent permits the counseling sessions.

>4. How do we force biomom into mediation?

You don't have a case at the moment, from what I'm reading. Your case revolves around the strength of the evidence against the boyfriend, which evidently wasn't strong enough to get the district attorney, or your judge interested.

>5. How do we file legal action for court order counseling with
>out thousands of dollars in lawyer fees, if mediation does not
>help?

I have no suggestion on how to reduce your litigation costs. Lawyers are expensive. Bottom line here appears to be, that if you cannot get the child to behave, and you can't get the other parent to agree to counseling, then you can either take your chances on the counseling, and hope that the other parent doesn't make an issue of it, or refuse to exercise visitation, in order to protect your other children.

The only other suggestion that seems reasonable, is for you to actively video the child when she is in your care, so as to document her agressive and abusive behaviors towards the other children. That would give you evidence to support counseling, and from there, if the counselor were to testify that the child's behavior is the result of the other parent's poor parenting skills, that could get you to a new custody hearing.

[MommyX4StepX1]

Thank you...
We figured that was the case and have talked about refusing visitation if Biomom tries to stop family counseling.
 We will try the video taping too.

There are other issues that need to be addressed concerning the parenting plan that Biomom does not follow. This and the behavior problems is what we are hoping to get biomom into mediation.

It's just very sad that we feel that we can't help my stepdaughter, refusing visitation until biomom agress to counseling will be our last option.

Thank You again!