Gradual Visitation Schedule

[crayiii]

My wife's attorney says that they are going to ask for a "gradual visitation" schedule.  He says, something like a few hours a week in Spokane for the first 6 months and within a year have it up to weekends.

They know that I can't afford the 20-hour round trip drive every week.

He says because I haven't seen my son for almost a year or spoken to him since Feb. that this is needed.  My goodness!!!!  She has kept him from me.

How do I combat this?

[socrateaser]

>How do I combat this?

Ordinarily, the only means of fighting this sort of thing, is to request a GAL or psychological custody evaluator be appointed to determine whether there is an established parent-child relationship between you and your son.

Also, there is apparently some concern voiced by your wife that you are not mentally stable. I am not suggesting that you are not, however, the judge doesn't know you, so I would offer to submit yourself to an immediate psychological eval to determine if you are any danger to the child, in return for your being permitted substantial visitation.

The only other alternative is, if the child is old enough, to ask that the child be permitted to state his preference to the judge. You could suggest that the TRO currently in place was put there to make it impossible for you to reestablish a relationship with your son prior to the hearing, and that this has made it impossible for you to demonstrate that a positive parent-child relationship already exists.

Needless to say, I don't know all the facts and circumstances, and I don't expect you to reveal sensitive information in this forum, but if you have any skeletons in the closet, you can be certain that opposing counsel will open the door to the judge.

You could also offer to submit to a polygraph on each and every negative suggestion of your wife, regarding your inability to exercise custody, and that if you pass, that the court should order joint custody and substantial parenting time. But, you better be clean as the driven snow, because only one person in a million can beat that machine.

[crayiii]

I don't have any skeletons and I will submit myself to whatever tests they would like.

I would even be fine with the gradual schedule as long as she drives him down to me to do it.  I would even pay a portion of her gas money.

Our son is only 6 and his mother has told him (she admitted to this) that I was trying to steal him because I asked for custody.  I have him on a tape telling me that he can't see me because the divorce papers say I am trying to steal him and he is too scared of that to see me.

[socrateaser]

>I don't have any skeletons and I will submit myself to
>whatever tests they would like.

Understand, this is not a criminal case. Your opponent merely need claim that there is something wrong with you, and the judge will err on the side of caution against you, if you aren not exercising de facto physical custody over the child.

Thus, it falls you you to offer to submit yourself to a polygraph or other examination, in order to demonstrate that you are prepared to show that the other side has absolutely falsified its entire case as a pretext to denying you custody.

>I would even be fine with the gradual schedule as long as she
>drives him down to me to do it.  I would even pay a portion of
>her gas money.
>
>Our son is only 6 and his mother has told him (she admitted to
>this) that I was trying to steal him because I asked for
>custody.  I have him on a tape telling me that he can't see me
>because the divorce papers say I am trying to steal him and he
>is too scared of that to see me.

If you are planning to put that tape into evidence, you need to have the contents transcribed by a certified court reporter prior to the June 3rd hearing. This could be rather difficult to do at this point.

[crayiii]

Wow!  I am totally amazed that a mother could do these things to her child and not be held accountable...

Should I ask for a GAL to be assigned?  Should I ask for mediation?

[socrateaser]

>Wow!  I am totally amazed that a mother could do these things
>to her child and not be held accountable...

Well, you need to put away your amazement and get used to the fact that you are being played by a system that is designed to ignore your existence in favor of the parent who has de facto custody.

I have told people for years, that rule #1 in family law is: Whoever has de facto custody of the kids, wins on almost every issue. That's just the way it is, so unless your wife suddenly starts feeding your son heroin, you're gonna end up with a fairly typical divorce, and there will be little that you can do to stop it from happening.

>
>Should I ask for a GAL to be assigned?

If you ask, you better be prepared to pay for at least 1/2 of the costs. I think a custody evaluator "psychologist" is a better choice as a request than is a GAL.

Should I ask for mediation?

Mediation is good in situations where the parties have relatively equal leverage. And, the judge may order mediation whether you want it or not. However, if the court does so at your temporary hearing, I would object to it strongly on grounds that your wife and you are far too estranged from each other for mediation to be effective, and that your wife is likely to use mediation as a means of stalling you from establishing reasonable parenting time with your child.

My earlier posted advice stands as written.