Name Change and eventual Adoption

[southernmom_of_2]

Dear Soc,

I have two children by my ex-husband.  In our divorce ex was given reasonable visitation and ordered to pay cs.  He only visited with the children twice and never contacted me for futher visitation.  He moved and never left any address for me to contact him.  He did not pay child support for the first 4 years and CSE went after him, and put him in jail for a month.  Since then he has had cs deducted from his pay check and still has arrears of over $30,000.  It has been a total of 10 years since he has seen the kids.

I met my current husband 6 months after our divorce and he has been a wonderful role model and the only father figure my kids have.  He has been wanting to adopt the children but at this point we are not financially able to pay for an attorney.

The kids are 11 and 12 years old and wish to change their last names to mine and my husband's, we filed the papers ourselves  Only after filing, placing an ad in  and speaking with the Judge we received information on how to get a hold of the ex.  We sent a letter to him asking him to allow the children's name change and also asking him to give up his parental rights so that my current husband could eventually adopt.


Ex sent a response saying that he knows the kids consider Don the father and wants what is in the best interest of the children and feel this would be, but he would only sign a consent and give up his parental rights if we would forgive the arrears.

Since we have an open case for the kids name change, we received a letter from the Court about clearing the calendar for the judge who has our case and we are to either appear before him or send in correspondance as to the status of the case.  We filed for a name change for minor children in July 2004 and were pretty much at a stand still until we received the letter from the ex.

My question to you is this:

1.  Should we send all the information we received to the judge or just send a letter stating that ex refuses consent of name change?  (We did state in the papers that my husband eventually wants to adopt but the kids wanted their name change.)

2.  Would the ex still be responible for arrears if he does sign over his parental rights?

3.  CSE said he would be responsible but it would need to be stated on the papers that he would be required to pay.  Why would it need to be stated in the papers if he is still responsible to pay it?

[socrateaser]

>1.  Should we send all the information we received to the
>judge or just send a letter stating that ex refuses consent of
>name change?  (We did state in the papers that my husband
>eventually wants to adopt but the kids wanted their name
>change.)

Your ex, by sending you a letter re refusing consent, has admitted that he has notice of the name change action, and this gives him an opportunity to appear and defend. If he doesn't, the the court is free to permit the name change, unopposed.

You can send a copy of the letter to the judge and simply state that the court should rule in your favor, unless the father files a formal objection with the court.

The court will not appreciate the father's offer to sell his parental rights in exchange for $30K. Selling one's children is rather frowned upon in America.

>
>2.  Would the ex still be responible for arrears if he does
>sign over his parental rights?

If ex's parental rights are terminated, then his duty to pay present and future support is terminated. However, if you have a "judgment" of arrears, then that judgment is an independent debt for "past" support owed, and the duty to pay will not be discharged by the parental rights termination order.

>3.  CSE said he would be responsible but it would need to be
>stated on the papers that he would be required to pay.  Why
>would it need to be stated in the papers if he is still
>responsible to pay it?

The question is whether or not you have a "money judgment" for the $30K, or whether CSE is merely deducting additional money to cover past unpaid support without a judgment. In the former case, the judgment is an independent debt, not much different than an education loan that went unpaid, until the government sued for a judgment so that the debt could be collected.

But, if there's no "money judgment," then the $30K is just future support not yet paid, and if the father's parental rights are terminated, then so is his duty of support, and poof, there goes your $30K.

If your parental rights termination order contains an order converting the $30K into a "money judgment," then CSE can collect on it, because that will convert the debt from a duty to pay present/future support, into a judgment permitting collection of past unpaid support.

I could get into the theory of how all this works and why it's so convoluted, but the bottom line is that you need the court to grant you a money judgment on the arrears. If you have that, then you can continue to get your dough.

[southernmom_of_2]

Thank you so much for your respons.

You have helped us out a great deal.

:)