Preparing for Deposition

[ccmidaho]

Hello,

Case is in Idaho. Father requesting more visitation with 16 month old. Father's attorney petitioned court to change visitation and their first status conference with judge is in 10 days. Mediation has failed as of this week. Father currently has 8 hours a week visitation on three separate days.

Current parenting agreement which was signed at 4 months old states "overnights may start at 12-18 months" and father is to get an increasing amount of time. Father wants 50/50 custody and always has. Mother is not willing to sign any agreement for overnights. to start.  Mother's main argument uncovered in mediation involves three areas:
 
1. She says child cannot adjust to two homes as he is too sensitive and it will undermine his stability.
2. She says that the father cannot possibly be as good a parent as she is because he is a man and therefore does not have the correct instincts to properly anticipate and meet the childs needs
3. She says that father has missed time and therefore is not consistent in exercising his current visitation and therefore should not get any more visitation

Numbers one and two are flat out false from our perspective and she has no evidence supporting either assertion.

Regarding #3 -- The father has not missed any visitation since March 1 of this year but in the 9 months prior to that he took two week long vacations and had 3 to 4 work trips that caused him to miss scheduled time. THere were also a number of visits that the mother requested he not take due to the child's or his own illness which he agreed to -- she is counting this in her missed time count.  In all cases of missed time he asked for makeup time which of course the mother refused to grant.

We just found out today that mother's attorney wants to deposition the father this week. This was unexpected and we are a little worried about going into it with little prep work (we do have an attorney and he doesn't seem worried about it). On the other hand we feel like all that has to be told is the truth and there is nothing in the truth that can hurt the father.

Here are my questions:

1.  Do you have any advice regarding dos and don'ts for the father with respect to the deposition?

2. Given the above arguments of the mother, what things would you speculate they will  try to trip him up or get something out of him that supports their arguments?

3. If you were their attorney, what would your deposition strategy be?

4. Is it normal to go into a deposition with this little prep time (as I said, his attorney is not too worried about it but they have scheduled some time to prepare).

Thanks for your help as always.

[socrateaser]

>Here are my questions:
>
>1.  Do you have any advice regarding dos and don'ts for the
>father with respect to the deposition?

There are three possible answers to any question. Yes, no and I don't remember. If you volunteer any other information, no matter how badly you want to tell your story, then you are making a big mistake.

Yes, no and I don't remember. Nothing more nor less.

>2. Given the above arguments of the mother, what things would
>you speculate they will  try to trip him up or get something
>out of him that supports their arguments?

It doesn't matter, because you're not gonna say anything other than yes, no and I don't remember.

>3. If you were their attorney, what would your deposition
>strategy be?

To try to get you to admit that my client is the better day to day caretaker, and that you don't really want to spend time with the child, except to reduce your child support obligation.

However, I really would prefer that both parents have as much time with the child as possible, because that's what's really in the child's best interests, and therefore, I believe it is also in my client's best interests.

Nevertheless, I want to try to trip you up so as to improve my case, so that's what I'd do. BTW, testimony taken at deposition is not necessarily offerred at trial.

>4. Is it normal to go into a deposition with this little prep
>time (as I said, his attorney is not too worried about it but
>they have scheduled some time to prepare).

Yes, no and I don't remember. That's all the preparation you really need. Just don't bad mouth the other parent and don't praise her either. She's the other parent, and is entitled to exercise custody, the same as you are. In a perfect world, it would be joint and with complete cooperation. In the real world, well we know that ain't gonna happen.

[FLMom]

A sprinkling of a humble, "Could you please repeat the question?"
worked well for me in addition to the three answers that Soc listed.

This way, if you're asked a question that throws you for a loop or pushes your buttons, you have the entire re-asking of the question to regain your composure.

THEN you answer "yes", "no" or "I don't recall".

Good Luck,
FLMom