my mother wants to move out of state with my daughter!

[shikara]

When my daughter was 2 years old (she is now 7) I gave my mother temporary custody. I was in a bad situation and i was thinking about the interest of my daughter. Since then I have seen my daughter almost everyday and have built a very strong relationship with her. In those years I have lived in the house at times and also lived out of the house but I have always been there for her. Her father has not been in the picture full time since she was born.

Since I gave the temporary custody to my mother I have turned my life around almost completely but still am not 100% yet.

My mother and father are both disabled now and they have decided to sell and move out of the state. I dont have the money to up and move to the same state as them, so if they leave i will lose that relationship with my daughter. I do not want that to happen. This is where i need some advice on what i should do.

I cannot afford an attorney at all right now, but i want to fight her taking my daughter and moving out of the state. I am able to care for my daughter but where i am living right now we only have one bedroom. I have discussed this over with my sister who lives 10 minutes from me and she has agreed to back me up 100% with my decision. She has agreed to let my daughter stay with her and go to school there and I will have full rights to see my daughter she would just have gardianship (sp). How do I go about doing this and will the courts go for it? I once again am looking out for the best interest of my child because i dont want her to have to become caregiver for my parents when they move. I also wont be able to see her or keep our relationship the way it is now. I know my mother will hate me for fighting her on it but it is something that I cant let happen. does anyone have any suggestions on what I should do or how i go about doing it. PLEASE HELP!!!!!

[socrateaser]

>When my daughter was 2 years old (she is now 7) I gave my
>mother temporary custody.

Questions:

1. Is there a court order granting temporary custody to your mother?

2. Was a permanent court order ever entered by the court?

3. If yes to either of the above, what exactly do the orders state regarding custody?

4. What do either of the court orders in #1-2 above state regarding the child's father and custody?

5. In what State do you all presently reside?

6. To what State does the grandmother intend to move?

[shikara]

>>When my daughter was 2 years old (she is now 7) I gave my
>>mother temporary custody.
>
>Questions:
>
>1. Is there a court order granting temporary custody to your
>mother?

Yes there is an active court order graning my parents remporary custody.
>
>2. Was a permanent court order ever entered by the court?
>
A permanent order for ym parents to have permanent custody was not entered into the coutrs.

>3. If yes to either of the above, what exactly do the orders
>state regarding custody?

The order states that they will have temporary custody until I am able to support mysef and her by myself, which i can now do.  I have my own apartment, pay my rent, bills, food, car.
>
>4. What do either of the court orders in #1-2 above state
>regarding the child's father and custody?

He is ordered to pay support in which he has not done in almost 4.5 years, and he has visitation once a month which he has not done.
>
>5. In what State do you all presently reside?
>
I curently live in New jersey

>6. To what State does the grandmother intend to move?

She wants to take her to South Carolina which is a good 12-14 hours from here.  and there is no way I am going to be able to keep the relationship with my daughter.

[socrateaser]

>>>When my daughter was 2 years old (she is now 7) I gave my
>>>mother temporary custody.
>>
>>Questions:
>>
>>1. Is there a court order granting temporary custody to your
>>mother?
>
>Yes there is an active court order graning my parents
>remporary custody.
>>
>>2. Was a permanent court order ever entered by the court?
>>
>A permanent order for ym parents to have permanent custody was
>not entered into the coutrs.
>
>>3. If yes to either of the above, what exactly do the orders
>>state regarding custody?
>
>The order states that they will have temporary custody until I
>am able to support mysef and her by myself, which i can now
>do.  I have my own apartment, pay my rent, bills, food, car.
>>
>>4. What do either of the court orders in #1-2 above state
>>regarding the child's father and custody?
>
>He is ordered to pay support in which he has not done in
>almost 4.5 years, and he has visitation once a month which he
>has not done.
>>
>>5. In what State do you all presently reside?
>>
>I curently live in New jersey
>
>>6. To what State does the grandmother intend to move?
>
>She wants to take her to South Carolina which is a good 12-14
>hours from here.  and there is no way I am going to be able to
>keep the relationship with my daughter.

OK, well, then you need to file a motion requesting that the court enter a final order granting you sole custody, on grounds that you have satisfied the requirements of the temporary order, i.e., you are now self-supporting. You must serve the father and your mother with a copy of the motion, and then go to a hearing, where the court will determine whether it is in the child's best interests to grant you sole custody.

If your mother fights the order, then court may decide to appoint a GAL to protect the child's interests. The real question that you must address, is whether the child will be more traumatized by moving to SC with her grandmother, than she will be by remaining here with you. If the child is doing well in school, then I would bring that to the court's attention, but you must make certain that the child will be able to remain in the same school district -- otherwise, your proof will be useless.

If the child is not doing well in school, then I would bring that to the court's attention, too, because it suggests that the grandmother may not be doing such a terrific job of raising the child.

Your objective is to show the court that the child will be better off staying than leaving, and you should not use your sister as a "backup" plan, because that will provide evidence to the court that you don't think that you can raise your child on your own.

Furthermore, you sould be aggressively pursuing the father for child support through the State child support enforcement unit, because that would help you pay for a larger apartment. Lots of people can't pay support, right up until the instant that the judge offers them an 8x8 room with no view. I don't know the situation, but you need to show that you are at least trying to get the father to comply with his obligation.