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Mother moved no forwarding address

Started by Anthony_ill, Sep 22, 2005, 03:09:17 PM

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Anthony_ill

Hi Again,

Synopsis: (sorry but this is pretty messed up)

Been in court pro se for 16 months fighting a visitation issue in Il (motioned her for contempt). Parenting plan calls for 50/50 parenting time with two minor children (15/17 yro currently). I have received excellent advice from you on two previous occasions, now new developments.

During court status, found out that mother took both children for counseling, and placed them on depression medicine (w/o my knowledge or consent). This counselor/therapist refused to meet with me even though once this was found out the court ordered her to, however she wrote very disturbing/damaging comments about me personally (I have written the APA ethics board recently on this to review).

GAL suggested that we have another family counselor meet with children and me as a solution to other counselor's refusal (counselor sighting the children's confidentiality and best interest of the children).

This 2nd counselor met with 1) BM, 2) myself and 3) with children and me together and appeared to make some break-thru on children reluctance to be with me (false information provided by BM and her boyfriend). BM did not like what she saw and began to refuse to bring children to 2nd counselor, only allowing them to go to original counselor (the one who refused to meet with me).

GAL suggested that we (in the best interest of the children) allow this, and that I continue to see 2nd counselor as in individual, and have both counselors discuss the issues, reporting back to court. In addition, GAL temporally allowed the children to have authority to pick when they wanted to see me. The intent was to take the pressure off of them and feel they have some control on the relationship and not a court ordered one.

Status during court last week: Neither BM or her attorney were present. Judge indicated the attorney is no longer representing BM (when I asked if this was official, he indicated he didn't see any paperwork, but he felt like he was released, nothing in the court folder). It has been mentioned that the Judge/Attorney speak in the court house in the past and is reasonable that this release was mentioned in passing at another day.

I indicated the following: The children have not continued counseling as ordered, the BM has moved, no forwarding address/phone number and they are not enrolled in the high school that they were enrolled in last year (I have not been notified of any of these changes).

As prescribed by GAL/2nd counselor, I write the kids letters weekly (to the old address assuming it is forwarded). Since I do not have a current phone number, ordered phone contact has not taken place. Nothing in the original 50/50 parenting plan has been placed to change the original agreement.

I requested to the judge to move from status to a hearing on the original motion for visitation interference but he refused, indicating this current temporary motion needed to be addressed (the one temporally allowing the children to control visitation, and ordering counseling).

Judge also seemed fine that the attorney was not present w/o any official document. He's only real concern was if she moved out of state, indicating he would take a motion on that (I do believe currently she is local just another city at this point).

1) What type of motion is required to close the latest order, to allow visitation interference to be addressed (Would this be another contempt order for failing to follow counseling and access to the kids?)? He seems not too quick on comtemp charges so far.

a) How do I file if I don't have her new address or aware of where she lives?

Judge indicated even if I place another order, since I do not know where she lives that I wouldn't even know where to send it to, and if she is no longer represented by a lawyer that I couldn't contact him either (Note: his reply was almost like that of someone watching a good chess game, and liking the moves that were made).

I have heard in the past this judge indicate to send a notice, register mail, and then appear in court, indicating she has not picked it up, send it again with a new court date and appear again to hear it without the BM being present. Is this normal process, or are there other efforts that can be placed.

3) How do I get the BM attorney to officially make notice that he has dropped from this case? I was going to call, or write letters, but he has not responded to me in the past and official rules I have read indicate he has to appear somehow to request closer and give notice.

   a)  Is he in violation (he has not appeared at the last two status motions),

   b) If so what motion / sanctions can be placed on him (ok is it a good thing to get the other attorney mad). Not my intention, just want clarity to this case.

   c) How do I gently get him to release himself, like all others in this case, he is just another victim of the BM.

The judge appears to not like pro se attorneys (or maybe it's just me, or the length of this case).  Do I just give up at this point and say good-bye to my kids?? (Not an option I am willing to do however but I am pretty frustrated).

Any help you can persribe would be helpful.

BTW: I have written the new visitation interference task force. I have received a follow-up indicating they would like to potentially speak at the hearings. Not sure if will happen but hope it is good opportunity to support this issue. Your feedback if any would also be appreicated.

socrateaser

The judge said he wanted to address the current temporary motion before considering interference. Did he make orders regarding that, or did he just indicate that he wanted to have a hearing on the issue?

If he didn't make orders on the temp motion, and this hearing is still pending, then you need to get it set for hearing with the clerk or judge's assistant and then notify the other parent.

If the other parent's attorney of record has not been granted a withdrawal by the court, then your service to that attorney by mail of notice of any hearing satisfies due process, so it's actually a good thing that the attorney has not been formally discharged from the representation. You can also serve notice at the former address, because it is the other parent's obligation to keep the court informed as to her contact information during the pendency of any action.

Every time the other parent fails to make the child available per the court orders that is contempt, and you are entitled to file a motion for a hearing. You can also combine counts (incidents of contempt) into one hearing.

Unfortunately, a contempt motion probably requires personal service on the other parent (not sure -- depends on IL rules). If there are court forms for contempt, then they will probably tell you if you have to personally serve.

Anthony_ill

No additional orders were placed. The judge kind-of smirked and said, well Mr. "X" I guess there is nothing else at this point (indicating that I should "now" get an attorney).
The status remains open, I guess I kind-of freaked out and appealed to the Judge, indicating I am just a father wanting to see his kids, something that agreed to in court (original decree which was never changed). Not much of a response from him, almost like he was satisfied that it had stalled and would love to see this activity expire without any other motions (at least from me as pro se).

Thanks so much for all of your assistance. What you have replied adds much clarity at this point, and I will continue with an additional motion and see what can be addressed.

Three additional areas if I can:

1)   In family court can you request a new judge during a proceeding?? (and does the judge have the ability to veto this request?). What would be that motion to change?

2)   We had mediation sessions during the first Visitation interference motioned (closed with only day's changed, not the amount that the BM had requested). During those mediations the BM walked out and did not come to any agreement and we had the GAL work with the judge to close that issue (this is now a repeated of a similar situation, however we never went to the mediation). Should I request to go to mediation or is this too far gone (been an issue for 16 months without resolution). My understanding would be no, since I believe that the BM would not go, or if she would she not agree to anything the mediator would suggest.

a.   Would this be a waste of time, or good to at least document another effort? (Mediation is outlined in the divorce decree as a method to resolve conflicts).

3)   My current family counselor and the GAL are both in agreement that the BM has caused the issues, yet both have hesitated to place anything in writing to the Judge with any real teeth (they seem hesitant). They option to focus on the best interest of the children, which is ok, but they are always looking to provide work around's to the latest interference ect which doesn't really address the root cause (A BM that just doesn't abide by any of the court orders ect.)

I don't really know what (if anything to suggest to them but would like them to provide some written documentation indicating this (everything written seems on the edge but staying a short distance away without holding her accountable).

a.   Should I request that from the GAL and family counselor to present to the Judge (a written / or in attendance) or is this not there responsibility and would not assist me during my pleadings with the Judge? Seems like they are afriad to push, and just allow things to continue and look for other alternatives (which have not resulted in any agreements or accountablity for actions).


socrateaser

>1)   In family court can you request a new judge during a
>proceeding?? (and does the judge have the ability to veto this
>request?). What would be that motion to change?

You may file a motion to disqualify/recuse the judge, on grounds of conflict of interest, personal bias, and/or prejudice, however, the current judge will hear the motion, and unless you have a pretty convincing set of facts, the judge will deny your motion and he "won't be your friend anymore."

The general rule, for future reference is that once a judge has made a any order in a case, except for a continuance, that judge becomes the judge of the case, absent a successful motion to recuse, or the judge removing him/herself for some reason, like sickness, or retirement, losing an election, etc.

In most jurisdictions, you get one peremtory recusal, that permits you to disqualify the first judge assigned to the case for no reason at all other than that you don't like him/her, if yo do it before the judge makes an order. After that, you need grounds to disqualify, and it's always a dicey proposition, because you may annoy the judge and do more harm to yourself than good.

>2)   We had mediation sessions during the first Visitation
>interference motioned (closed with only day's changed, not the
>amount that the BM had requested). During those mediations the
>BM walked out and did not come to any agreement and we had the
>GAL work with the judge to close that issue (this is now a
>repeated of a similar situation, however we never went to the
>mediation). Should I request to go to mediation or is this too
>far gone (been an issue for 16 months without resolution). My
>understanding would be no, since I believe that the BM would
>not go, or if she would she not agree to anything the mediator
>would suggest.

You're asking me a question that only you can answer.

>
>a.   Would this be a waste of time, or good to at least document
>another effort? (Mediation is outlined in the divorce decree
>as a method to resolve conflicts).

See above.

>3)   My current family counselor and the GAL are both in
>agreement that the BM has caused the issues, yet both have
>hesitated to place anything in writing to the Judge with any
>real teeth (they seem hesitant). They option to focus on the
>best interest of the children, which is ok, but they are
>always looking to provide work around's to the latest
>interference ect which doesn't really address the root cause
>(A BM that just doesn't abide by any of the court orders
>ect.)

You seem to be dancing around with these people. Stop, and demand some answers. Tell them that if they are unwilling to inform the judge re the other parent's failure to cooperate, that you'll simply move to waive all future mediation and counseling and subpoena them to testify to the other parent's actions as a demonstration of her refusing to cooperate in the child's best interests.

>a.   Should I request that from the GAL and family counselor to
>present to the Judge (a written / or in attendance) or is this
>not there responsibility and would not assist me during my
>pleadings with the Judge? Seems like they are afriad to push,
>and just allow things to continue and look for other
>alternatives (which have not resulted in any agreements or
>accountablity for actions).

You are waiting for the GAL and the counselor to advance your case for you. That is not their job and it will not happen. Similarly, the judge cannot advance your interests, which is why he is just saying, "Well I guess that's it, then." He's waiting for you to move for trial of the issues, because that's all he can do. You must make your case based upon applying facts the the applicable law, and demonstrate to the court whaever it is that you have moved for in your motion. If that's a change in parenting, then you must meet the legal burden in your jurisdiction sufficient to place the matter before the judge. If you don't, then nothing will happen.

That's why you are being encouraged to get a lawyer -- the judge sees that you are lost and he cannot lawfully help you make a case, because he must remain an objective observer.