Criminal charges and custody

[dipper]

Soc,

All parties in VA.  Custody case been continued for months now due to attorneys.  

'My' son became increasingly aggressive last spring in school until he was kicked out and sent to an alternative school. Within three weeks he had been 'accidentally' set on fire by friends and spent two weeks with skin grafting in hospital.  For these reasons, I filed for custody.  He attended school for approximately one month out of five and passed his grade.

In September, my ex came to pick up son and he refused to go.  In front of both of our sons, she proceeded to call me vulgar names - with both children telling her to stop.  She slapped youngest son and he charged her with assault.  Case is to be heard during custody case.

Judge sent youngest son back with mom without listening to us.  Papers I received later showed that judge based decision on lies and misconceptions.

Son started school fine.  In the past three weeks however, he has gotten into serious trouble.  First, he was searched and a knife with a blade longer than 3 inches was found on him,  He was suspended for five days and the police picked him up.  He has a pretrial on November 17.  

He went back to school last week after the suspension and four days later, he was suspended again.  He had dropped his laptop and broke it - but the principal said he had cut scratches into the screen as well.  He was suspended for vandalism.

Got a message from my ex today stating that son will be charged with misdemeanor vandalism - we have to take him to the school for the officer there to process Friday.

We go to court on December 21.  I am worried that son will be gone to both of us by then.  

He had one discipline record from his last year of school here.  A pile of them from his first year of school there.  And now he already has two criminal charges against him.

He has adhd and conduct disorder which ex refuses to medicate or get counseling for.

In June, son overheard her friends threatening to beat me up, while she sat with them.

October 29, her brother told her that he ''could take me" if she wanted him to......in front of our sons.

This past Sunday, she called me a sorry-*ss in front of son.

I am no angel, but I do not call her names in front of the children and no one sits around talking about beating her up.

son is responsible for actions, but given that he is subjected to such hostility, no treatment for a medical condition, and is rewarded instead of disciplined...........

Son does have a GAL.  

Should I voice all these concerns to GAL or will that seem like just badmouthing?


Would there be grounds for an ex parte hearing on grounds of 14 year old's criminal behavior?

[socrateaser]

>Should I voice all these concerns to GAL or will that seem
>like just badmouthing?

If you frame the concerns as in the child's interests, rather than in yours, I think it's completely appropriate.

>Would there be grounds for an ex parte hearing on grounds of
>14 year old's criminal behavior?

You mean you want to be granted temp custody on grounds that the child's behavior is deteriorating rapidly towards sociopathy? You already have a custody hearing pending, so you need to go before the judge in that hearing and move that the court make temporary orders granting you custody in view of these new circumstances.

This would not be an ex parte hearing -- just an expedited hearing. Without an attorney, I doubt that you will have much luck convincing the clerk to give you a quick hearing date. But, you can try.

[dipper]

Soc,

Son is 14.  One suspension in fifth grade.  Mother moved two hours away.  Numerous suspension in sixth grade resulting in being sent to an alternative school.  Son also burned badly in spring while in mother's care - at a friend's home.

Filed for custody, case is in VA.  Court has been pushed back due to her lawyer being late and then my lawyer not being prepared.  I have very little funds so getting another lawyer is not an option.

Son has been suspended nine days this school term - knife and vandalism.  He has also been criminally charged with both of these.

My fear is that son will be in serious trouble or in a detention center before we ever get this in court.....Dec. 21.  

I am wanting to write to GAL to give him a complete picture of all that is going on with my son.  Some of it does involve simply stating that son and mother are arguing over his burns - she is telling him to say something that simply did not happen.  She is opposing son in the lawsuit that I have arranged for him.  Son is also exposed to people threatening to beat me up - recently, mother's brother.

Son has adhd and conduct disorder - both documented, both untreated as mother refuses counseling or medication.


Soc, I dont care if my ex talks about me and her friend and family take her word and fantasize about beating me up....its childish of them.  But, I do believe it has an effect on my son.  

Would it be inappropriate to point this out to GAL?

If all of this is presented in a letter without an opinion of her actions or those of others, would it be acceptable?


Thank you....

[socrateaser]

>Would it be inappropriate to point this out to GAL?

No, but you should have something more than just your personal statement to support your comments.

>If all of this is presented in a letter without an opinion of
>her actions or those of others, would it be acceptable?

I'd definitely approach if from a "poor me" aspect, i.e., you're in pain because of the affect that this appears to be having on your child's mental state -- NOT that you think the other parent is an a-hole.