How do you......?

[wysiwyg]

I just feel like it is all a never ending battle......

Legal orders pertaqining to questions.

1.  Based upon her (GAL) findings, the Court agrees with her recommendation that a Case Manager/Domestic Arbitrator be assigned to this case intervene in order to protect the child's interests and to prevent either party from alienating the child from the other parent, or in the event the parties cannot agree on the terms of their parenting time guidelines.  For those reasons, the Court hereby appoints, by a separate order, Dr. RP as Case Manager/Domestic Arbitrator for this case.

2. In the event that there is a dispute, and in the event the parties cannot resolve the dispute according to section I(E) of the guidelines, the parties must employ the Case Manager/Arbitrator to mediate the dispute and to resolve the dispute as authorized by the Court's separate appointment Order.

3. The parties are hereby ordered to submit to domestic arbitration/case management with Dr. RP.    

4. When a disagreement occurs regarding parenting time and the requirements of these Guidelines, both parents shall make every effort to discuss options, including mediation, in an attempt to resolve the dispute before going to court.

5. IT IS THEREFORE ORDERED, ADJUDGED AND DECREED by this Court that an order shall be entered THIS 20th DAY OF Sept, 2005 ordering the Respondent to immediately communicate with Dr. RP and the Petitioner within seven (7) days to set up and secure a two hour mediation session.

6. Holiday schedule for Christmas:
One-half of the period which will begin at 8:00 P.M. on the evening the child is released from school and continues to December 30 at 7:00 P.M.  If the parents cannot agree on the division of this period, the custodial parent shall have the first half in even-numbered years.  In those years when Christmas does not fall in a parent's week, that parent shall have the child from Noon to 9:00 P.M. on Christmas Day. The winter vacation period shall apply to pre-school children and shall be determined by the vacation period of the public grade school in the custodial parent's school district.

Childs school break is Dec 20 at the close of school until Jan 2 when child returns.  Child's Half sister's break starts Dec 23 at the end of school until Jan 9th.  

Problem and question:

BM has refused to follow all court orders to enter into mediation, BF has court date for her on contempt for refusing to follow all court orders specifically Item #5 above.

BF gave BM notice of his intent to Christmas vacation on June 2005 (proposing child with BM from school break start to 4 PM Dec 25, then with BF 4 PM Dec 25 up until and including his NEw years holiday of 7 PM Jan 2 since Dec 25 is the midway point give or take a few hours), stating that child and half sister were on 2 differnt school break schedules and child's other half siblings would be home for the holidays that coincided with schedule provided in June.  (Older sibling is military member and can not easily change time off) BM sent email to BF in October (4 months later) stating that she would only go by the guidelines above.  BF sent a response that unless she followed the courts orders of mediation and scheduled an appointment prior to Dec 21, BF will follow the schedule he gave to her in June that she had had plenty of time to return the calls of the mediator and comply with the courts multiple orders for mediation.  With the child's school schedule - Christmas day is about the middle of the vacation and the way I have figured the schedule, she is proposing the child be with BF from dec 21 to noon christmas day then with BM from noon to 9 PM then back to BF from 9 PM Dec 25 to 4:30 AM (yes AM) on Dec 26, then with BM until 7 PM Dec 30.  

BF does not want to take this to court and muddy the waters for upcoming hearing and besides that is not in compliance with the courts orders of mediation, but BM refuses to enter into mediation, so how do we come to a conclusion if she will not mediate and we can not enterinto court without mediation first?

Our family can not change or alter vacation/holiday plans so close to the holidays that has already been scheduled.  BM has not responded at all since.   Should I...
1. Write her again and what to say or leave well enough alone and hope for the best and while sister is at school and step mom and dad are working hte child spends the first three of 4.5 days alone?
2. Contact the mediator and explain to him the problem and ask him to make a decision for a schedule without her input?
3. Go by the order for Christmas and transfer the child at 4:30 AM which is definately not in the child's or anyones best interest.
4. Any other options I did not think of?

Sorry so lenghty, just want all kids to be together and have a nice holiday with ALL our children together, oh and BTW the last court order noted the BM was very inflexible with Father's time and would not allow him even one second more than what is court ordered.  I always did like that comment, it is right on the money.

Thanks in advance.

[socrateaser]

>1. Write her again and what to say or leave well enough alone
>and hope for the best and while sister is at school and step
>mom and dad are working hte child spends the first three of
>4.5 days alone?

No.


>2. Contact the mediator and explain to him the problem and ask
>him to make a decision for a schedule without her input?

It's not clear to me that the mediator has authority to order BM's compliance (you didn't post the "appointment" part of the order that the judge refers to). I don't see how the mediator could decide this issue without an agreement, because he/she's not a judge and can't sign a temporary order for entry by the court, although he/she may be able to recommend an order that the would sign. But, BM has a right to a hearing on the entry of such an order, so that gets you back to a courtroom appearance, therefore this approach seems useless in view of BM's failure to cooperate with mediation.

>3. Go by the order for Christmas and transfer the child at
>4:30 AM which is definately not in the child's or anyones best
>interest.

This is the only option, i.e., follow the letter of the existing orders and wait for your contempt hearing.

>4. Any other options I did not think of?

Nope.

[wysiwyg]

Sorry Soc, with so many order after 12 years of this it ishard sometimes to remember them "all" and what pertains to what......here is the Mediator order that specifies what his authority is...

"Dr. RP, as the parties' Case Manager/Arbitrator, shall act as a quasi¬judicial officer and shall have limited immunity. Dr. RP may submit a written report to the Court in the event the parties cannot agree on any dispute. Dr. RP is authorized to arbitrate any dispute as to parenting time and other child-related issues and to render a final decision that cannot be overturned by the Court except for abuse of discretion or acting beyond the scope of granted authority. "

[socrateaser]

>Sorry Soc, with so many order after 12 years of this it
>ishard sometimes to remember them "all" and what pertains to
>what......here is the Mediator order that specifies what his
>authority is...
>
>"Dr. RP, as the parties' Case Manager/Arbitrator, shall act as
>a quasi¬judicial officer and shall have limited immunity. Dr.
>RP may submit a written report to the Court in the event the
>parties cannot agree on any dispute. Dr. RP is authorized to
>arbitrate any dispute as to parenting time and other
>child-related issues and to render a final decision that
>cannot be overturned by the Court except for abuse of
>discretion or acting beyond the scope of granted authority. "

In this case, I would contact the Case Manager and ask that he/she make a final ruling on the issue, based on your evidence and pleadings and in consideration of the fact that the other parent has failed to bargain in good faith, cooperate with mediation and to follow the court's prior orders re participating in mediation in the child's best interests.

If the case manager fails to rule, that would be an abuse of discretion that would permit you to request that the court rule instead.