Counter-contempt

[Ref]

PARENTING AGREEMENT:

Decision Making:

Each party has a right to confer with the other pertaining to all major decisions affecting the welfare of their child(ren) (unless otherwise prohibited by Court order, example: Domestic Violence Restraining Order). Both parents shall confer so that major decisions affecting the welfare of the child(ren) will be determined jointly. Such major decisions may include, but are not limited to, the education, medical and dental care, religious training, and discipline of the minor child(ren). The (PRP) has a duty to discuss with the (SRP) the advantages and disadvantages of all major decisions regarding the children and to work with the (SRP) in an effort to reach a joint decision. For example, this duty would include an obligation to discuss a decision to remove a child(ren) from public school in order to enroll a child(ren) in private school, it may include allowing a child to participate in a school related activity e.g., field trip. It would not include a decision to have a child's hair cut. In the event the parties are unable to agree on a decision affecting the welfare of the minor child(ren) and time does not permit a hearing before the Court, then the (PRP) has the right to make the decision and the (SRP) may file petition within a reasonable time to review the decision.

FACT:

BM refuses to discuss anything with me. She feels my requests for information on our daughter are an act of being controlling instead of caring. She send DD to a therapist without my knowledge, signed her up for classes at her school without talking to me, allowed her an out of town field trip without discussing it with me and I am sure a zillion other things that I obviously don't know about. She has made it clear that because she is doing a "fine job" with our daughter, that I don't deserve this information. She is very proud to say that infront of anyone and everyone.

Evidence:

Several still unopened FedEx packages that I sent her regading visitation arrangements, trips we are taking while DD is with me and one about guitar lessons.

An unopened certified letter also stating a trip the I intended on taking DD on and other issues.

She blocked my email addys

A letter from her stating that she refuses to discuss anything with me unless it is regarding visitation or an emergency and all discussion must be made thru untrackable mail or by phone.

A voicemail from her that states that she has the right not to communicate with me if she doesn't want to.

Another letter refering to a letter I sent asking about being notifed when DD is ill and when she goes out of town as minutia and stating that she will not respond to it (she did not specifically say anything about the trips or illness but basically stated that it was BS that I was asking for the information in the letter she just received from me).

Trip Itinerary:

Each parent has the right to know the whereabouts of the child(ren) when parenting time will be exercised in a different locale other than the home. Should either parent have the child(ren) away from their normal residence for a period of more than 24 hours (e.g. for a trip or vacation) then such parent shall provide the other with an itinerary of where the child(ren) will be staying providing addresses, telephone numbers of each location, the length of the stay, the name of all persons who may provide care for the child(ren) during the stay, the departure date, and the date of return/arrival. In case of an emergency involving the child(ren) and in the best interest of the child(ren), each parent is encouraged to communicate with the other(unless prohibited by Court order) when he or she will be traveling away from home for less than 24 hours. The parties should provide the other parent with telephone number(s), pager, voice mail, or a third party so that the parent may contact the other parent if there is an emergency involving the child(ren).


FACT:

She has never notified me about any overnight stays my daughter has done including an out of town field trip that lasted a week.

PARENTING AGREEMENT:

Medical Condition: Each parent has the right to know of any significant illness of a child or significant injury sustained by such child(ren). "Significant" is hereby defined as any such condition which would require a child to miss school or to be taken to a health care provider. Each party shall notify the other promptly of any significant illness or injury affecting the minor child(ren).


FACT:
My daughter missed 16 days of school last year. I had not gotten a notice about 1 of those absenses.


PARENTING AGREEMENT:

When airline transportation is used and the child(ren) is/are below the age to fly unaccompanied, the parent having the child transported by air for parenting time must make arrangements with the airline(s) to have the child accompanied by airline personnel. The additional cost of which shall be divided equally between the parents; unless otherwise provided by Court order or agreement between the parties.

FACT: Our daughter has flown many times to my home. My exwife's half of the unaccompanied minor fees comes to $375 now. She will not pay it. One of the problems is, after we settled the last Parenting agreement, she sued me for an increase in CS. The court ordered that we try to work it out ourselves. Initially I drafted a proposal for part of the unaccompanied minor fees that she was to pay be deducted from the child support. She called and yelled and screamed and had me take it out because DD will not be using the services until she is 18 and she felt it artificially lowered the CS. I agreed, verbally, and we negotiated further and settled on a number higher than the one I initally proposed (she was very insistant that I pay more).

Evidence:

A letter from my exwife refusing to pay for the fees. First she refused because she was offsetting it against several things she siad I owe her, which I am NOT responsible for (cost of the paperwork she paid for to file for the CS increase, the filing costs for the increase, a medical bill that she incurred because she did not use my insurance on my daughter). Later she argued that it was taken out of CS, per my inital proposal.

A letter refusing to pay for her half of the fees at the airport.

COURT ORDER:

She did not show for a deposition in which I incurred legal fees for and ourt reported fees. The court ordered she reimbursement in the amount of $270.

FACT:

She states that she no longer owes me anything. She states that she told my lawyer that she wasn't coming because she had class and that it is my tough luck. She also argues that she has it deducted from purchases she made for our daughter (field trip money, etc).

Evidence:

I have her claimes in a letter she wrote me.

Questions

1. Is my case strong enough, in you opinion, to argue that she is shutting me out of the decision making?

2. Would a proper request to the court be that BM must email me once a week with brief items such as school issues and health issues?

3. Would the evidence that I have be strong enough to show that she is not willing to discuss DD's illnesses with me?

4. Would the evidence that I have be strong enough to support the fact that she never sends me an itinerary?

5. Do you feel that the letters that I wrote in negotiation of CS will bite me in the a$$ regading the unaccompanied minor fees even though the number increased $100 a month from that proposal?

I guess that is it. I have more, but I think those are the things I can prove the most.

Thanks
Ref

[socrateaser]

>>Questions
>
>1. Is my case strong enough, in you opinion, to argue that she
>is shutting me out of the decision making?

Not really. You appear to have facts necessary to prove a contempt on the failure to notify as to the significant illnesses, on the failure to reimburse for unaccompanied minor fees, and for failing to appear at a deposition. This depo issue is a biggie, and it could get her jail time as punishment if you ask for it. Of course, if she spends time in a cell, she may be even more uncooperative after she gets out, so I'm not certain that this is really productive, but it could make for some interesting negotiation over summer vacation and her motion to modify.

>2. Would a proper request to the court be that BM must email
>me once a week with brief items such as school issues and
>health issues?

I'd want a copy of the school's absence slip or whatever doc that must be filled out when the child returns to school, plus written notice of any physician visit and a copy of any prescription or other written advice.

>3. Would the evidence that I have be strong enough to show
>that she is not willing to discuss DD's illnesses with me?

If you have proof from the school of the absences, that still wouldn't prove you weren't notified by mail, beyond reasonable doubt. But you could allege it and show all of the returned certified mail and then try to shift the burden onto her to produce documents showing that she did notify you. This isn't a slam dunk, but you might pull it off.

>
>4. Would the evidence that I have be strong enough to support
>the fact that she never sends me an itinerary?

I don't see any proof of the trips that you allege took place. You can't begin to prove that you weren't notified, until you can prove that the trips occured. This is weak.

>5. Do you feel that the letters that I wrote in negotiation of
>CS will bite me in the a$$ regading the unaccompanied minor
>fees even though the number increased $100 a month from that
>proposal?

Whatever is in your court orders re child support and/or travel expenses is what matters. Your agreements on the side are irrelevant unless a court orders them, or the orders provide somewhere that you can negotiate on support without court consent (unheard of, but possible). So, no bite on ass here.

[Ref]

I did leave out the Evidence of the trips. DD went on a class trip. I have evidence of that because BM wrote in a letter describing all the things I need to reimburse her for and that was one of them (well after the fact). I also have access to my daughters Blog Page where she discusses going to friends houses for the weekend etc... I don't know if I want to use that as evidence. The point I am trying to make with the itinerary is that BM is suing me for this, something only she is in contempt for. I really could care less if DD is at a buddy's house for 25 hours, as long as if something dangerous happens, I can get a call and as long as I can get in contact with her within 48 hours.

1. How do you feel about the itinerary charge now?


Thanks again. I wont beat this one to death like my other post, promise.


Ref

[socrateaser]

>I did leave out the Evidence of the trips. DD went on a class
>trip. I have evidence of that because BM wrote in a letter
>describing all the things I need to reimburse her for and that
>was one of them (well after the fact). I also have access to
>my daughters Blog Page where she discusses going to friends
>houses for the weekend etc... I don't know if I want to use
>that as evidence. The point I am trying to make with the
>itinerary is that BM is suing me for this, something only she
>is in contempt for. I really could care less if DD is at a
>buddy's house for 25 hours, as long as if something dangerous
>happens, I can get a call and as long as I can get in contact
>with her within 48 hours.
>
>1. How do you feel about the itinerary charge now?
>
>
>Thanks again. I wont beat this one to death like my other
>post, promise.

I think you're over the top already. This is small beans and it makes you seem controlling and hostile so stay away from it. Concentrate on things that matter. Judges aren't all ivory tower. They just want to do their job and go home, so don't give the judge a reason to think you're as weird as your ex, or you'll get your wish.

[Ref]

I have more questions for you. Sorry.

I have many letters and voicemails of her stating that she has the right to reject all my letters and that she will refuse futher communicaion unless it is sent by "regular", i.e. untackable, mail and that communications must be limited to visitation and emergencies.

1. Would it be reasonable to have the court specifically state thay BM cannot refuse communications from me?

2. Would a financial incentive be out of order (every letter that she refuses, she owes me $100)?

3. Based on the fact that all the arguements for her refusal of my decrease in CS are all silly and easily disproven, there doesn't seem to be a substantial change for her modification of visitaiton, and all of her contempts are easy to prove as bogus, do you feel it is likely that she will be required to reimburse me for legal and court costs?

4. Another huge cost I will have to incur is travel costs. Would this be something I could ask for or would it just make me look greedy?

5. Will the fact that when I filed for Modification of Visitation last year, BM quickly filed for increase in CS and the fact that I file for a decrease in CS this year and she immediately files for Mod. of Visitation and contempt going to look as bad (vindictive) to the judge as it does to me?

6. Will that make one but of difference?

I'll shut-up now.

Ref

[socrateaser]

>1. Would it be reasonable to have the court specifically state
>thay BM cannot refuse communications from me?

Yes.

>
>2. Would a financial incentive be out of order (every letter
>that she refuses, she owes me $100)?

You can't get an advance, self-executing contempt order, because your opponent is presumed innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt.

>3. Based on the fact that all the arguements for her refusal
>of my decrease in CS are all silly and easily disproven, there
>doesn't seem to be a substantial change for her modification
>of visitaiton, and all of her contempts are easy to prove as
>bogus, do you feel it is likely that she will be required to
>reimburse me for legal and court costs?

I don't read tea leaves. Ask the court to make her pay your court costs and attorney fees (if any). If the court finds her motion without merit, then you win, otherwise, it's up to the court's broad discretion in the area of taxing costs and fees.

>4. Another huge cost I will have to incur is travel costs.
>Would this be something I could ask for or would it just make
>me look greedy?

No, but you won't get your travel reimbursed unless you show everything in each motion to be entirely without merit. So, for example, this issue about where your daughter wants to spend her summer vacation may be entirely meritorious, therefore you won't get reimbursed, because you would have had to appear for this issue (or hire an attorney to appear for you).

>5. Will the fact that when I filed for Modification of
>Visitation last year, BM quickly filed for increase in CS and
>the fact that I file for a decrease in CS this year and she
>immediately files for Mod. of Visitation and contempt going to
>look as bad (vindictive) to the judge as it does to me?

No. a modification of visitation presumes that support will change.

>6. Will that make one but of difference?

No comment.