Mail delivery... health insurance

[Ref]

Hi Soc!

In my parenting agreement it states that I am to cover DD's health insurance. I have been responsible for 11 years now without fail. I am currently in the process of getting my CS lowered due to losing my job.

I have paid COBRA for 2 months in advance. DD was covered until January 1. My wife put DD on her policy in January. I told BM that this was what I was doing in a phone call in November.

She just wrote a letter to me stating that she told me in our last call that she was now covering DD under her policy. She never told me that she was going to do this and had no right to do so. Even though it is easier and cheaper for me to have my ex cover DD, she is asking that I reimburse her for her insurance costs . I am afraid to have DD taken off my wife's policy because it would violate our parenting agreement.

My exwife constantly lies. She stated that I am perpetually unemployed and that is why she refuses the decrease in CS when I have been employed fully for 11 years.She states that she doesn't receive calls that I had made and she lies about contents of out verbal conversation.

She is a liar and I can't trust her. I have been sending letters by FedEx to make sure I have confirmation of delivery. She stated that she will refuse them because the return address has my wife's name on it. I changed it to show my name. Then she said that the FedEx guy knocks on her door too loud and she wont accept them even with my name on it.

I then sent her letters by certified mail. She has now simply stated that she will not accept any communication from me unless it is untrackable. She demands plain US postal service. No delivery certification (she just rejected that), no anything. I can't trust her not to lie. I can not do this.

I sent a copy of DD's itinerary for her Xmas break to BM's attorney asking her to forward the information to BM so that I have proof that BM received it. She refused to sign for the certified letter I sent.

She has taken DD to the Dr for a checkup and bought meds. She sent me the bills for these. She told me to send her a check (she is entitled to reimbusement)by regular mail, no tracking. I am ok with this because I will have the cancelled check as proof.

Questions:

1. Should I keep DD on my insurance even though she is now covered by BM?

2. She can't make me reimburse her for covering DD twice right?

3. Is it in her rights to refuse to accept normal certified mail?

4. If not, what can I do to enforce it?

5. I was thinking of using the checks that I send BM for reimbursement as proof of delivery. Cancelled check =  letter received. Any suggestions on how to make sure this is good enough evidence?

Thanks for everything Soc!

Ref

[socrateaser]

>Questions:
>
>1. Should I keep DD on my insurance even though she is now
>covered by BM?

I can't advise unless you post the exact text of the court order regarding this issue. If you have already filed for a support reduction and part of your request is to reduce or eliminate insurance coverage, then you could ask the court to give you the temporary reduction now, if you can show that your paying the insurance bill will cause you irreparable harm, i.e., that it will threaten your ability to pay your rent, food, clothing, etc.

Also, some insurance awards state to the effect of, "parties must provide heathcare insurance if available at reasonabe or no cost through their employer." If your order has text like this, and the cost of Cobra is unreasonably high, then you can simply stop paying for it, because you will not be violating the order.

>2. She can't make me reimburse her for covering DD twice
>right?

Depends on the precise text of the order. Many orders require both parents carry insurance if available, but usually the parent receiving support, just doesn't buy the insurance, because it's overkill and because the other parent doesn't kick up a fuss.

It never becomes an issue except where there is a very serious illness, and the primary insurer won't cover the bill, but the secondary insurer, had the insurance been purchased, would have convered.
>
>3. Is it in her rights to refuse to accept normal certified
>mail?

Yes, but if the result of her refusals cause her to violate some part of the order, the refusal may indirectly produce a contempt. Example, you are ordered to provide 30 days notice of summer vacation time, and you do so, but she refuses the certified mail, and then claims tht you never gave notice so you can't have the child(ren). That would be contempt, because she had notice, and she willfully averted her eyes so as to avoid having knowledge of what she reasonably could have known, had she simply signed for the certified mail.

>4. If not, what can I do to enforce it?
>
>5. I was thinking of using the checks that I send BM for
>reimbursement as proof of delivery. Cancelled check =  letter
>received. Any suggestions on how to make sure this is good
>enough evidence?

It's good enough, but you should note on the check that it is attached to a letter concerning _______ (brief statement of whatever the letter concerns).

You can also use USPS delivery confirmation without certified, basically this means that the postal service is confirming that the letter reached the location, but not that the person actually received it. However, this should be sufficient for the court. A pattern of delivery confirmations to a parent who claims to never receive anything is not credible and the court will not believe that sort of testimony.

[Ref]

The exact text:

"As additional support for the minor child, the Husband shall maintain medical insuance coverage on the parties' minor child"

I tried the delivery confirmation but when the mail carrier went to the door, BM refused to open it. They left a tag but she refused to sign to have it dropped off. She is determined to keep me from being able to prove that I am doing what the court ordered. ARRRGGHH.

1. Should I keep DD on my wife's insurance?

2. Will I be responsible for BM putting DD on her insurance?

Thanks for the advice on the check. I think that will be the way to go.

Ref

[socrateaser]

>1. Should I keep DD on my wife's insurance?

Probably, if it's an easy way to go. You're just trying to do the right thing and the court won't punish you for it.

>
>2. Will I be responsible for BM putting DD on her insurance?

No, because that's not what the order says.

>
>Thanks for the advice on the check. I think that will be the
>way to go.

You could also use UPS/DHL/FEDEX, as all have tracking #s for unsigned letter envelopes.

[Ref]

Tried that one too, BM refuses all letters unless they are completely untrackable.

Thanks again
Ref

[socrateaser]

>Tried that one too, BM refuses all letters unless they are
>completely untrackable.

Then, in addition to everything else, I would ask the court to order your ex to receive certified mail, under penalty of contempt, on grounds that her willful refusal of all such mail is a demonstration that she does not wish to be found violating the court's orders, and that she intends to do so.