Someone watching the children

[army_dad]

I was divorced in Oklahoma. When my ex and I divorced I talked to several attorneys in that county and they all said the same thing....one gets custody and the other gets visiation....there was no shared parenting or even joint legal.
My ex has custody. She has jerked me around on visitation by denying me and taking off with the kids. I filed contempt and for a custody reversal, attorney said its unlikely that I would get it for the first contempt but we had to start somewhere. The judge fined her, and gave me a heck of a lot bettier visiation schedule than I had. He also much to mine and my attorneys surprise ordered that all transportation be split 50/50...meaning I would get them and she would pick themup unless we agreed otherwise in writing. I am in the military so I was theone who moved....due to military assignement so her attorney fought it, but the judge said he wasn't going to punish me by making me do all the transporation since I didnt willingly relocate and that she married had children and divorced me all while I was in the military.
Our order also says that the visiation schedule is at a minimum and that extra visitation in encouraged. Everytime I ask for something extra she says no....then has had the nerve to send them off to her parents for a week at a time....the same week I have asked for. When I asked my attorney he explained that she can legally do this on her time, and that when she had the kids she could do what she wanted and when I had the kids I could do what I wanted and if either disagreed that much we woudl have to take it to court.
Ok so when the kids were with me for 8 weekd during the summer I had to go TDY for 1 week. I left the children with my wife and parents (kids grandparents) she told me she wouldnt allow this and I had to return them to her.
There is no Right of First Resual in our order and it says nothing about 3rd parties.
Am I not allowed to do this.?

[4honor]

I was divorced in Oklahoma.

When my ex and I divorced I talked to several attorneys in that county and they all said the same thing....one gets custody and the other gets visiation....there was no shared parenting or even joint legal.

My ex has custody. She has jerked me around on visitation by denying me and taking off with the kids.

I filed contempt and for a custody reversal, attorney said its unlikely that I would get it for the first contempt but we had to start somewhere.

The judge fined her, and increased my visitation schedule. He also  ordered that all transportation be split 50/50...meaning I would get them and she would pick them up, unless we agreed otherwise in writing.

I am in the military so I was the one who moved....due to military assignment. However, her attorney fought it, but the judge said he wasn't going to punish me by making me do all the transporation since I didn't willingly relocate and that she married had children and divorced me all while I was in the military.

Our order also says that the visitation schedule is at a minimum and that extra visitation is encouraged. Every time I ask for extra time she says no....then has had the nerve to send them off to her parents for a week at a time....the same week I have asked for.

When I asked my attorney he explained that she can legally do this on her time, and that when she had the kids she could do what she wanted and when I had the kids I could do what I wanted and if either disagreed that much we woudl have to take it to court.

Ok so when the kids were with me for 8 weekd during the summer I had to go TDY for 1 week. I left the children with my wife and parents (kids grandparents) she told me she wouldnt allow this and I had to return them to her.

There is no Right of First Refusal in our order and it says nothing about 3rd parties.

1. Am I not allowed to determine who the children stay with during my visitation if I must temporarily be away during my time (there is signficant distance between BM and I's homes)?

2. Is is unusual for a judge to determine that it is OK for a CP to decide its OK to send a child to a family member, but not an NCP?

[socrateaser]

In the future please observe the mandatory forum posting guidelines or I won't respond.

>Am I not allowed to do this.?

Depends on the exact text of your orders. If she has sole custody, and you are granted only visitation, then you cannot entrust your children to your parents or anyone else, except on a very temporary basis, because visitation rights are personal and non-delegable, whereas custody rights are delegable.

However, your orders may be worded so as to increase your authority, but without reading them, I can't really comment further.

I suspect that if you were brought up on contempt charges, that you would not be found to have consciously and with willful disregard, violated the court's orders, because the judge has already demonstrated his understanding that your ex married a military man, and so your occasional need to entrust the children to a third party during your own visitation period should be expected.

If you want to ensure your position, then you should file a motion to clarify with the court and have the court make further appropriate orders to deal with this particular contingency.