BM's lawyer advising weekend swap?

[spangle1033]

Good afternoon Soc!

By the way, thank you for saving my BDay weekend :-)  Your advice always works!

My newest question is as follows:

DH has children EOW and alternating holidays.  BM has suddenly decided that she doesn't like the ways the weekends are set up.  BM and DH have been going back and forth about it.

Basically, BM wants to switch weekends to have children on her boyfriend's work schedule.  DH says no to switching because we have molded our schedules (work and minor holiday) around the existing schedule.

BM is stating that her lawyer has advised her to go back to the original court date (2 years ago) and count up the weekends to present and that this will switch the weekends.  Her lawyer is basing this on the fact that she told him that the weekends have been switched one time in 2 years.

We have switched weekends (always for her) several times over in the last 2 years.  So I assume there is only a 50% chance that the weekend count-back will work in her favor.  

I have precise documentation of all visitations, switching, etc. over the past 2 years.

1.  Should I utilize my calendars to figure out whose weekend it would be if no switching had ever taken place?

2.  Is her lawyer correct in stating that she can switch the weekends based on this calculation method?  (I'm not 100% sure he said this).

3.  Can DH do anything if BM refuses him the children this weekend, stating that with the new calculation that it is her weekend (even if it isn't?)

4.  I have an email from BM stating that we will have children for Easter (had to double-check before buying stuff).  Now we have new dresses, baskets and Easter presents that will not be used if BM decides to keep children.  Can anything be done about that?

Basically, this has turned into a power struggle between BM and DH.  We have never minded switching in the past, but now that we have scheduled events around the old weekend schedule (due to living some distance away from BM at this point), all this switching is becoming nearly impossible.  

Thanks Soc!

[socrateaser]

>>1.  Should I utilize my calendars to figure out whose weekend
>it would be if no switching had ever taken place?

If your order provides you with the lattitude to switch on this basis, yes, otherwise no.
>
>2.  Is her lawyer correct in stating that she can switch the
>weekends based on this calculation method?  (I'm not 100% sure
>he said this).

This is a passing comment of little value. Know what's permitted under the orders and follow them.

>
>3.  Can DH do anything if BM refuses him the children this
>weekend, stating that with the new calculation that it is her
>weekend (even if it isn't?)

It's all about your orders. Whatever they say is what you must do.

>
>4.  I have an email from BM stating that we will have children
>for Easter (had to double-check before buying stuff).  Now we
>have new dresses, baskets and Easter presents that will not be
>used if BM decides to keep children.  Can anything be done
>about that?

Depends on your orders. Have you noticed that I keep repeating myself?

>Basically, this has turned into a power struggle between BM
>and DH.  We have never minded switching in the past, but now
>that we have scheduled events around the old weekend schedule
>(due to living some distance away from BM at this point), all
>this switching is becoming nearly impossible.  

Imagine my surprise.

Read your orders and follow them If they are too difficult and you cannot cooperate, then file a motion for a clarification of parenting time and get the court to be more specific so that there can be no future arguments.

I positively hate custody orders that leave the parties at each other's mercy. I won't do an order that doesn't completely specify every day of every year in advance.